Reader Feedback: Put Family First?

Jan 26, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Elliot's special Birthday breakfast.

“…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children…” (Titus 2:4 ESV)

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 4:8; 1 Peter 4:9-11 ESV)

On Tuesday we looked at some quotes from Practicing Hospitality that focused on putting our family first when setting out to live hospitable lives. Hospitality to others is to be constantly sought, but not at the expense of our family. Providing for the needs of others should be a natural outpouring of our everyday lives as we seek to meet the needs of our husband’s and children. It should not detract from our God-given duties to our families, but rather should enhance it.

The Reader Feedback questions centered around this idea. Here were the prompts:

How do you practically make sure that you are not neglecting your family when you seek to show hospitality to others?

How do you show hospitality to your husband and children in an effort to love them as the Bible commands you to?

Do you ever find that you struggle with the opposite problem of focusing too much on your own family to the neglect of the outside world? If so, how are you working to overcome this challenge?

Today I would like to share some of the excellent thoughts and encouragement other DV readers shared:

Laura said…

I’ve learned to be content to be practicing hospitality at home with my family and choosing a couple smaller ways to serve others at church during this crazy season of lots of littles at home. I have four (soon to be five any hour now) children age six and under. I volunteer regularly in the nursery when I don’t have nurslings who would call me out of the room. Also, I sort clothes pretty regularly at our church’s clothes closet on Wed nights. I used to regularly make meals for new moms, but now I only choose to make them for moms who live closest to me since we moved farther from most church members. I offer to watch others’ children in our home for doctors’ appointments etc. We’re trying to teach our children to care for others by serving our neighbors. We asked our son to return our neighbor’s garbage can when he began cancer treatments last summer, and this week he told me he returned the garbage can for the neighbor on our other side too, just because he wanted to help them too. I’m hoping to have more opportunities later to offer hospitality to others in our home as our children grow older and are better able to help prepare the house for guests.

Monica said…

I’ll never forget when I was eleven years old and our family of six had just moved 600 miles so that my dad could attend seminary. We visited a large church our first Sunday morning in the new town, and my parents “happened” to be sitting next to a sweet couple in Sunday school who had seven children. After the church service they turned to my parents and invited our whole family over for lunch. They weren’t worried about the state of their house, an extravagant menu, or if they’d planned correctly. We stopped by a grocery store on the way home, and the mom ran in and picked up a few extra food items. I barely remember what we ate that day or how their house looked. I do remember that their home was filled with love, friendship, and acceptance – a God send to our tired family nervous about change. We spent the entire afternoon at their home and later joined that very church. Huge amounts of spiritual growth happened in our family from attending that church, and our families are still still friends to this day. I’m grateful for this example of selfless hospitality!

Ruth said…

In the ten years of being a pastor’s wife and raising five boys, I’ve given this topic much thought. I really appreciate the thoughts you’ve written here, Jessalyn. My boys grew up with company for dinner several times a week. I’m continually learning to find the balance between family time, and sharing my family with others time. Either way, we are showing hospitality as a family, kids included. If hospitality show others’ the Gospel in a tangible way, I desire to look first to the mission field within my own home first. Thanks for this post!

Rachel said…

My tendency when I am having dinner guests is to become a stressed out maniac, running a thousand miles a minute to have every last dish done, every nook and cranny spotless, and a beautiful meal laid out just on time. I have found that the best way to serve my family is to just relax. Things don’t need to be perfect, and who cares if every guest thought it was but my husband is upset or frustrated because I snapped at him in my preparation frenzy? I would rather be kind and calm, so that my family is able to enjoy both me and our company. When preparing for guests I try to get a big head start so that I have plenty of time (eliminating stress as the countdown ensues), and the closer I get to the event I just remind myself to take deep breaths and watch my tongue. A happy family is to be treasured over a perfect house  .

Andrea said…

What I find most often among people I’ve known is that they use the idea of serving their own family as an excuse not to entertain others. If we are careful to always show hospitality and love to our own family day in and day out, then they should be able to occasionally extend themselves to others as an act of grace. I find that opening our home is also a training lesson for my children to teach them to serve others and not to be selfish. My children are quite accustomed now to having people over, and I would like to say that they rather enjoy it. Every fellowship doesn’t always go perfectly, and sometimes the house is a wreck afterwards, but it is humble gift to allow others enter our homes and allow them to see us in our “natural habitat.”

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us ladies! I was very encouraged by all of them. 

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Warm Scallop Salad with Bacon and Vinaigrette

Jan 25, 2012 by Julie

As the resident foodie here at DV it may not surprise you that I enjoy good food.

In fact, whenever my husband and I go on vacation we plan our entire trip around wherever it is we are wanting to eat. Anything from food trucks to five-star restaurants is fair game. We may be tourists, but we dine like locals, and enjoy it to the fullest!

When we can’t go on vacation, though, we bring what feels like a vacation into our home by re-creating some of our favorite meals. The recipe I’m sharing with you today is similar to one we enjoyed at a “dive” during our honeymoon in Palm Beach.

Warm Scallop Salad with Bacon and Vinaigrette

Servings: 2

Ingredients:

• Fresh Scallops, 6-8 large
• 1-2 T Olive Oil
• 1-2 T Butter
• 3 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled
• 1/4 C feta cheese
• 3 green onions, sliced thin
• Fresh Spinach
• Grape Tomatoes (optional)
• Vinaigrette to taste (we used this Texas Pecan Vinaigrette from Costco-delicious!)

Notes: Be sure you’ve rinsed the scallops and patted dry prior to cooking. Keep it simple by seasoning them with only a little black pepper.

Directions:

1. In a sauté pan, combine the olive oil and butter over medium high heat.
2. When it starts to sizzle add the scallops. Sear for about a minute and a half per side. The scallops should be have a golden crust with a translucent center. You do not want to overcook the scallops!
3. When finished, remove the scallops from pan. Reduce heat slightly and add spinach.
4. Using tongs, give the spinach a couple turns of the pan to wilt, but not fully cook.
5. Remove from pan into serving bowl.
6. Layer the salad-spinach, scallops, bacon, feta, onions
7. Serve warm with vinaigrette on the side.

Julie’s love of cooking and her travel experiences have sent her on a quest for creativity in the kitchen! Julie and her husband James live just outside of Dallas, Texas where they share a passion for serving others through their local church. As the Turner’s are newlyweds, Julie chronicles their journey together on their family blog www.theturnyeahs.tumblr.com

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Put Family First?

Jan 24, 2012 by desiringvirtue

In the book Practicing Hospitality, three reasons are given for putting the needs of your own family before the needs of others. “We are called to establish the ministry of hospitality within our family” and then “broaden our hospitality to include extended family members, friends, strangers, the needy, and the poor.” Here are the three reasons why this is encouraged:

1. For the sake of integrity. “Neglecting to extend hospitality to our family can result in violating our God-given priorities-loving our husbands and children. Scripture calls us to have a devoted affection for them. If we do not love our family as God has instructed, we can bring dishonor to God’s Word (Titus 2:3-5)”

2. For the sake of our children. “Neglecting to include our children in hospitality opportunities might create resentment in them. If our children feel unloved, abandoned, or ignored while we diligently extend hospitality to friends and strangers, we have opened the door for developing bitterness and animosity toward hospitality in the hearts of our children. This is the opposite of what we desire to model for them when we practice hospitality.”

3. For the sake of the gospel. “Neglecting to extend hospitality to our family can discredit our witness. The testimony of a wife and mom who loves and serves her family is a powerful witness to a watching world; it is also something that separates a believing woman from the world. The manner in which we serve and love our family should reflect the transforming power of the gospel in our own life (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)”

Reader Feedback:

It is easy to get busy doing “good deeds” and suddenly realize that you have been neglecting your family. I would like for our reader feedback question this week to center around this idea. Please share your thoughts, suggestions, or personal experience in the comments. I will be sharing some of the most helpful comments in Thursday’s post! Consider these questions:

How do you practically make sure that you are not neglecting your family when you seek to show hospitality to others?

How do you show hospitality to your husband and children in an effort to love them as the Bible commands you to?

Do you ever find that you struggle with the opposite problem of focusing too much on your own family to the neglect of the outside world? If so, how are you working to overcome this challenge?

I look forward to interacting with your comments!

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Marvelous Meditations for the Homemaker

Jan 23, 2012 by desiringvirtue

The Two-faced Whirlpool Galaxy

Today is Laundry Day at my home. As I sort through various articles of clothing, loading them, unloading them, folding, and ironing I can’t help but meditate on these incredible verses from the Word of God.

How powerful is our Savior! How mighty is his name! All that is around us, the trees, the mountains, the animals, the sun and moon, the galaxies and asteroids are all in his control. He created them with the power of his voice and upholds them with mere words! 

All that is around us is temporary. The mountains that today seem so strong and permanent, the sun whom we cannot imagine going dim, the ocean waves that pound incessantly against the shores-they will all be folded away as easily as I manipulate the clothing coming out of my dryer. They will soon be exchanged as effortlessly as I change out of my pajamas and into my day clothes for a new and glorious creation void of the blemish we call sin.

All this through the might of our infinitely powerful God, the Son, who chose to come down into our broken humanity and carry our sin to the cross. He who can whisper the galaxies in and out of existence, who can fold them up like a piece of clothing, stooped down to reveal his loving character and do the impossible in us.

He, who’s days will have no end, stepped into the perishing flesh of men to offer them the free gift of salvation. And just as he will one day shout into the heavens and transform his creation, he took hold of our souls, folded up their sinful natures, and exchanged them for new, glorious, redeemed, natures. We have been transferred from the kingdom of darkness and brought into his kingdom of light by the power of his voice. He whispered into our hearts, “Awake oh sleeper and arise from the dead,” and bestowed upon us eternal life.

Now, like our glorious God, we will live forever rejoicing in the love shown to us through Christ. Though creation be folded up like a robe, we will forever live with our eternal God, our Savior, and King. He has imparted eternal life to us and bound himself to us forever!

The sinful have been made holy.

The perishing have been saved from eternal destruction.

All you who believe in Christ, listen to me: you are a new creation and one day you will trade this earthly, failing flesh for a body of perfection, for a sinless body of righteousness. You will be clothed with the holiness of Christ! This is the joy set before us-to be with our king and to be like him.

Let’s live this day in the knowledge of our glorious future and our glorious God.

“Lift up your eyes to the heavens,
and look at the earth beneath;
for the heavens vanish like smoke,
the earth will wear out like a garment,
and they who dwell in it will die in like manner;
but my salvation will be forever,
and my righteousness will never be dismayed.”
(Isaiah 51:6 ESV)

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This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife

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This Week At Desiring Virtue

Jan 21, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Practical Theology

Not Just Stories

They fill the pages of our worn out, dog eared copies of Holy Scripture: stories of triumph and despair, stories of heroes and villains, stories of love and betrayal. It is so easy to think of them as simple object lessons for our lives, but behind them all is the larger, glorious story of a God who desired to lavish his love upon a chosen people. He graciously brought person after person, family after family, nations even, into his family making them his very own children.

They were each plucked from this earthly, human race and given a new, godly nature so that they would reflect their Heavenly Father… (Keep Reading)

Love For God=Hospitality Toward Others

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)

“Hospitality is a practical way to love others. Therefore, a person practicing biblical hospitality would also be a loving person. This element separates biblical hospitality from social entertaining or even distinguishes between the hospitality of a believer and an unbeliever. Believers can uniquely display God’s love as they extend hospitality. Entertaining focuses on having a beautiful table decor or preparing gourmet food. Biblical hospitality is a demonstration of love. Food and other elements are merely tools used to express our love for people. Our motivation for being hospitable women is a response to God’s work in our lives. Hospitality is one way we can tangibly demonstrate our love for God.” Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others by Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock… (Keep Reading)

Reader Feedback: What is Hospitality?

On Monday I shared a wonderful quote from Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others and asked you to share your thoughts on hospitality.

How do you define hospitality?

What practical ways do you practice hospitality?

You gave some great answers to these simple questions and I would like to share some of your comments today:… (Keep Reading)

Hollie’s Story of Grace

My testimony to Christ’s saving grace in my life can be summed up into one line: “I was a sinner, then Christ saved me.” Isn’t that truly the story of every believer? And what an amazing story that one line is! One short sentence is full of so much mercy, grace, and love. Amazing.

Unlike many Christians I know, I was not saved as a child. I grew up in a church that taught a three-step and false path to salvation. These steps included repentance, baptism in Jesus’ name, and speaking in tongues. By fourteen I went through the motions of the first two steps, but the third step (the one that sealed the deal) never happened. No matter what I tried, the gift of tongues would not come. So, by age fifteen I resigned myself as one destined to hell and gave up hope on eternal life in heaven.

Of course, in all those years I never truly desired to be saved. Not in the biblical sense. How could I? That desire comes to the people of God alone. I desired to be saved from Hell, not from my sin. My church preached heavily on the Rapture and Hell and my motivation to obtain citizenship in Heaven was prompted by fear of the horrible things that I would have to endure after the Rapture. Sin was something I never clearly understood. Repentance was taught as apologizing to God only. I certainly was never even aware of my sin let alone grieved over it. I knew I was pretty much a “good” person. I trusted in what I had been taught and lived in fear of Hell and death because, as I said, speaking in tongues was something I could not do. I was serving an idol I created; a god that served me and was not sovereign. The years went by, and like anyone who doesn’t have Christ, I was a slave to various sins… (Keep Reading)

Marriage

Be My Valentine All Year Long (A Gift Idea)

Alright. I realize that it is a little early to begin talking about Valentine’s Day, I mean, many of us are just now getting all of our Christmas decor put away!

But really February 14th is only a few weeks ahead of us and this gift idea will take a little time to get together.

For Christmas, Richard and I usually make each other gifts, and since I already shared his wonderfully thoughtful gift with you from this past Christmas, I decided to share mine today. Perhaps you will find inspiration for a unique Valentine’s Day gift for your husband!

I call it the “Year of Romance” box… (Keep Reading)

Notable Quotes

When There is No Earthly Joy to Be Found, There is Christ: Our Supreme Joy

It Is Well With My Soul

By Horatio Spafford (A man acquainted with grief)

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul… (Keep Reading)

Recommended Links

Desiring Virtue has linked to these sites either on Facebook or Twitter this week:

• To the Mother with Only One Child 
• Of Straw Men and Shameful Speech
• ‘Abortion is as American as Apple Pie’ 
• What do You Do With the Rest of the Year?
• The Gospel in an Abortion Culture
• The “I Hate Religion but Love Jesus” Guy Answers 5 Tough Questions
• Following Up on the Jesus/Religion Video

Recommended Resources

Desiring Virtue has either talked about or quoted these books this week:

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Not Just Stories

Jan 20, 2012 by desiringvirtue

First published May 1, 2011

They fill the pages of our worn out, dog eared copies of Holy Scripture: stories of triumph and despair, stories of heroes and villains, stories of love and betrayal. It is so easy to think of them as simple object lessons for our lives, but behind them all is the larger, glorious story of a God who desired to lavish his love upon a chosen people. He graciously brought person after person, family after family, nations even, into his family making them his very own children.

They were each plucked from this earthly, human race and given a new, godly nature so that they would reflect their Heavenly Father.

The blood of Jesus contained power for each of them as it does for us. His love born sacrifice made a way for them to know the God their earthly father, Adam, fatally rejected. Even that same Adam, who plunged the human race into death found his own life in the promise of redemption. With veiled knowledge he looked forward to the one who would crush the serpent, who would free his soul from sin.

These people, God’s people, God’s children, are not just object lessons, they are our spiritual heritage. They are our fathers and our mothers, our sisters and our brothers, our friends and encouragement in faith. These people were made of flesh and bone just like us; they were born into this same sinful humanity. They knew the power of sinful desires, the paralyzing effects of fear, the incredible delight of passionate love, and so many more real, genuine emotions. God used them all, weak as they were, in his glorious plan of redemption.

These redeemed saints of the past stand before the Father now worshipping his glorious majesty and one day we will join them! One day we will add our glorified voices to the choir of the ransomed and look on our God forever, but not yet.

Today we are called to live in the power of the cross looking to our spiritual ancestors for encouragement and to our Savior for victory. They too were frail and weak, but they too had a strong and powerful God who faithfully brought them to eternal joy.

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When There is No Earthly Joy to Be Found, There is Christ: Our Supreme Joy

Jan 19, 2012 by desiringvirtue

It Is Well With My Soul

By Horatio Spafford (A man acquainted with grief)

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, it is well,
With my soul, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath she’d His own blood for my soul.

It is well, It is well,
With my soul, with my soul
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
It was nailed trough his cross, and I bear it no more,
Bless the Lord, bless the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, It is well
With my soul, with my soul
It is well, it is well, with my soul

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

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Reader Feedback: What is Hospitality?

Jan 19, 2012 by desiringvirtue

The always beautiful Julie serving some tasty treats at her sister's (my sister-in-law's) wedding shower!

On Monday I shared a wonderful quote from Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others and asked you to share your thoughts on hospitality.

How do you define hospitality?

What practical ways do you practice hospitality?

You gave some great answers to these simple questions and I would like to share some of your comments today:

Wendy said…

There are so many aspects to hospitality and I happen to just read and article entitled “Hospitality Begins at Home” in Credenda Agenda Magazine on this topic that was so helpful and from a little different angle. Here are a few highlights:

Hospitality is a means of loving others by supplying their needs from what we have. Hospitality doesn’t keep score. It is a testing point of how we are doing with all our stuff. Do we share? Do we give our stuff ( money, time, food) away freely?

At its most basic level, hospitality is simply feeding people. God enables us to turn a sack of flour into cookies and cinnamon rolls; this is a profound mystery! God is blessing us with food. He gives it to us freely, and we should be grateful to turn and give it freely to our own children in imitation of Him. This is a profound ministry that God has given wives and mothers. Feed people! Feed your people! This is the essence of hospitality…

When company comes we give them our attention and use our best manners. We say, ” Make yourself at home.” Consider then our own families. Are the children also free to “make themselves at home”? Are we hospitable to our own people? …Children know if they are welcome or unwelcome guests. They know if Mom is stingy with the food or not…Home should be the measuring stick of what beautiful, glorious, God-ordained hospitality looks like. If it isn’t, then how will we understand what it means to be given to hospitality?…. In feeding all these people, we are feeding Jesus. “Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me”

Becky from Daily on My Way to Heaven said…

We love to have people over very often, and most of the times, it is big groups of people  We just love having our Family Table full. We also have had the opportunity, because we live in Mexico, to have many families visit us and stay with us for several days; so yes, hospitality is an important part of our family.

One of the most important things I have learned about being hospitable is that Peter’s words are vital if we want to serve God when we open our home to others.

“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and ydominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 4:9- 11

We may have all the food ready, the house clean, and the table beautifully set with a vase of fresh flowers, but if we grumble (even in our hearts), it won’t be a pleasant service to God.

What happens when the guests leave your home? Do you grumble with your kids and husband about how tired you are. Do you talk about little Jimmy who just left and you just can’t figure out why he behaves in such a way. Do you grumble on how Mrs. So-an-So did not help you clean the table?

As in all the things we do, let’s us see that we keep a heart that pleases God.

I would love to recommend you a great book on the subject (the best I have read), it is called A Meal with Jesus: Discovering Grace, Community and Mission Around the Table by Tim Chester

Julie from The Turner Table said…

I loved reading A Meal With Jesus! It really challenged me to think about hospitality differently than I had before. One thought being that hospitality should also extend outside of our homes.

A practical way I do this from time to time is bringing my girlfriends a homemade treat-muffins, cookies or coffee cake- to enjoy when we meet at Starbucks for coffee. Its like a “taste” of home even when we aren’t gathering there.

Heidi said…

I love having freezer meals on hand for last minute invites over! In fact, we just did this Sunday after church. Chili was a quick and easy meal to whip up right after church and to share with our friends. I freeze full meals often and brown hamburger in and freeze in ziploc baggies which is what made chili such a breeze.

I also try not to leave the house if things aren’t in their places for two reasons: 1. I hate coming home to a messy house that I have to pick up. If I’ve been out running with the kids, the last thing I want to do is come home and pick up! 2. If someone stops by or I run into someone and have them over, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about! The house is mostly ready for company!

One of my goals this year is to be ready for company any time. The two ways above have made that possible ”

Justin said…

I think a good definition of hospitality, or at least a big part/aspect of hospitality, is anticipating needs. I believe that is a principle of hospitality that can apply in all contexts. Of course, that implies meeting those needs and whatnot, but it is the having a cup of coffee ready, knowing a persons likes and dislikes, adapting accordingly, etc.

Hollie from Reformed Redhead said…

I agree that hospitality is, in the most basic form, just being prepared for visitors/taking people in. It’s seeing your home as God’s and being open to minister to and meet the needs of whomever He brings into your home. I also think another part of hospitality is taking the initiative to bring people to your home and host them. One of the goals my husband and I set for ourselves this year is to have at least one guest over each month to enable us to practice hospitality more often.

Amy from Making a Joyful Home said…

I try to always have some kind of treat on hand so that if people stop in, I can welcome them to stay, or I can have something to send to a home that might need remembering. And I also try to keep ingredients on hand for at least 1 quick dish I can bring to a potluck.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic of hospitality! They were all so wonderful and encouraging. Keep a lookout for more opportunities to share your thoughts and practical tips here at Desiring Virtue!

This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife

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Hollie’s Story of Grace

Jan 18, 2012 by desiringvirtue

My testimony to Christ’s saving grace in my life can be summed up into one line: “I was a sinner, then Christ saved me.” Isn’t that truly the story of every believer? And what an amazing story that one line is! One short sentence is full of so much mercy, grace, and love. Amazing.

Unlike many Christians I know, I was not saved as a child. I grew up in a church that taught a three-step and false path to salvation. These steps included repentance, baptism in Jesus’ name, and speaking in tongues. By fourteen I went through the motions of the first two steps, but the third step (the one that sealed the deal) never happened. No matter what I tried, the gift of tongues would not come. So, by age fifteen I resigned myself as one destined to hell and gave up hope on eternal life in heaven.

Of course, in all those years I never truly desired to be saved. Not in the biblical sense. How could I? That desire comes to the people of God alone. I desired to be saved from Hell, not from my sin. My church preached heavily on the Rapture and Hell and my motivation to obtain citizenship in Heaven was prompted by fear of the horrible things that I would have to endure after the Rapture. Sin was something I never clearly understood. Repentance was taught as apologizing to God only. I certainly was never even aware of my sin let alone grieved over it. I knew I was pretty much a “good” person. I trusted in what I had been taught and lived in fear of Hell and death because, as I said, speaking in tongues was something I could not do. I was serving an idol I created; a god that served me and was not sovereign. The years went by, and like anyone who doesn’t have Christ, I was a slave to various sins.

For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. (Romans 6:21-22 NKJV)

But, God. Ah, what a sweet phrase! What if there were no “But God”? What hope would we have? But God had other plans for my life.

For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8 NKJV)

His plan involved giving a wretched, Hell-bound, hopeless sinner hope. His plan involved redeeming grace for the person that least deserved it. His plan involved unimaginable mercy for someone who hated Him and His laws. God’s plan was to, one night, give this sinful woman eyes to see and ears to hear. So, in the late hours of a night in January of 2009 I picked up my old Bible and read the book of Romans. Through God’s kindness I had eyes to see my sin and His holiness. Because of His mercy He opened my heart to His word and sent the Holy Spirit to give me an understanding of it.

I grew up in a church that preached on the “rapture” and being “left behind” almost every Sunday. And I lived in a fear of that for my entire life before being saved. I had nightmares about the rapture frequently and they were terrifying. But nothing–nothing–is as terrifying as having a realization of your sin and helplessness before the eternally Holy God. That night was spent in tears, pleading for repentance, and finally peace and trust. Trust that Christ had died for me. Trust that He conquered death by rising again. Trust that He had lived perfectly and trust that God would now look at me and see Jesus’ righteousness because I had been covered by His blood.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

And set my feet upon a rock,

And established my steps.

He has put a new song in my mouth-

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

And will trust in the LORD.

(Psalm 40:2-3 NKJV) 

One cannot find peace in false religions, vain good works, or any other trick of men. It is the saving Grace given to us by faith in Christ alone that brings peace. Jesus wasn’t lying when He said His yoke was light and His burden easy. On June 24, 2011, I was finally baptized biblically, in the name of the Trinity. This enabled me to seek membership in a local, Bible-believing church, and share in the Lord’s Supper with the other saints.

My journey is far from over, but my destination is guaranteed.

In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 5:13,14  NKJV)

Hollie and her family live in a small village in the Piedmont region of Virginia. She spends her days keeping home and home-schooling her children. In their spare time they enjoy reading, taking historical field trips, hiking and serving their local church. You can find more from Hollie on her blog Reformed Redhead

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Be My Valentine All Year Long (Gift Idea)

Jan 16, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Alright. I realize that it is a little early to begin talking about Valentine’s Day, I mean, many of us are just now getting all of our Christmas decor put away!

But really February 14th is only a few weeks ahead of us and this gift idea will take a little time to get together.

For Christmas, Richard and I usually make each other gifts, and since I already shared his wonderfully thoughtful gift with you from this past Christmas, I decided to share mine today. Perhaps you will find inspiration for a unique Valentine’s Day gift for your husband!

I call it the “Year of Romance” box.

I was inspired by a gift I found on Pinterest called “Let’s Go on a Date.” The idea was to plan out 12 different dates (one for every month) with your hubby and then buy gift cards, tickets, or include cash for those dates in an envelope. The point is to be intentional about your date nights and surprise your husband with creative and out of the ordinary experiences.

I was really excited to create my own version of this gift for Richard, giving it my own personal spin. Also, there was no way I was going to be able to pay for all the dates in advance (hello, we are making gifts for each other!), but I did pay for one specific date that will be a special outing for us… which will be revealed in March!

Here is how I created my Year of Romance box:

First, I needed a box of course, so I snagged a pretty one at Hobby Lobby for 50% off, plus it had a crack on the top, giving me an extra 15% off… yes.

Then I created 12 different envelopes for each month. I bought stickers to label each month on the envelopes.

Each envelope contained three items:

1. A Planned Date Night

Ok, I said that the only date I paid for was one special one in March, but I got this Groupon right before I made the Year of Romance box and thought it would be nice to use in January since Christmas always leaves you a little stretched financially. -Plus Richard is a HUGE fan of going to the movies, so it isn’t as lame as it sounds. (The other dates are a little more “out of the ordinary” for us)

2. A Marriage Challenge

I “created” challenges for each month. These are just simple things that we can do together as a couple to work on our marriage. Similar to the Love Dare idea. The first month is a challenge to pray for each other every day and with each other ever day… something pretty basic, but often neglected.

3. Prayer Bookmarks

This is meant to assist us in the challenge to pray for one another. There are new bookmarks in each envelope so that we can keep up to date on what we need to be praying for. There is a section for prayer requests for the other person, for yourself, and for your marriage as a whole.

Also in the box was a small envelope of Coffee Talk cards.

These cards each have a couple of questions to ask your spouse. They are called “Coffee Talk” cards because they are meant to be used on nights when we are unable to go out and do something, but can brew a cup of joe, sit, and talk together. Again, sounds simple, but sometimes when you don’t plan for things… they just don’t happen. The questions range from simple things like “What are your favorite blogs to read these days” to more important things like “What can I do, that I am not already, to let you know how much I love you.” They are basically conversation starters for those days when you seem to only talk about the kids.

Part of my desire in creating this box was to spur on our desire to “explore” each other again. It seems like the longer you are married the less you purposefully look at your spouse and seek to get to know them. This of course is understandable, since you feel like you know each other so well, but we are constantly changing, constantly growing in our walk with the Lord, and as a result our relationships are constantly shifting. The purpose in these Coffee Talk cards is to help us to rediscover one another.

And now it gets to the really cheesy part. (What? You thought we were already cheesy? Ha ha!)

In addition to everything mentioned above I included two resources for our time together:

We love to read to each other. We love to read period. So to add a little out of the ordinary reading into the mix as well as expand our literary horizons, I included The World’s Greatest Short Stories ($3.50!) and 100 Best-Loved Poems ($1.50!) in the box. Usually we read non-fiction to each other which is always a positive (books like this one which we are reading right now), but I wanted to provide something that we could read that would take the place of a movie one night or something to read while we have a picnic at the park or sit in a coffee shop together. And what could be more romantic than reading poetry? (Cheesiness Explosion!)

For those not fond of reading out loud, you could include some new romantic DVD’s in your box. I was going to add a few into our box, but didn’t have enough room.

So, there you have it, the Year of Romance Box. Create your own and wow your husband with a desire to grow closer over the coming year!

This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife

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Love for God = Hospitality Toward Others

Jan 16, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)

“Hospitality is a practical way to love others. Therefore, a person practicing biblical hospitality would also be a loving person. This element separates biblical hospitality from social entertaining or even distinguishes between the hospitality of a believer and an unbeliever. Believers can uniquely display God’s love as they extend hospitality. Entertaining focuses on having a beautiful table decor or preparing gourmet food. Biblical hospitality is a demonstration of love. Food and other elements are merely tools used to express our love for people. Our motivation for being hospitable women is a response to God’s work in our lives. Hospitality is one way we can tangibly demonstrate our love for God.” Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others by Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock

Reader Feedback:

We are all commanded to be hospitable to those around us. How do you practically practice hospitality? Encourage, inspire, and challenge Desiring Virtue’s readers by sharing what hospitality means to you and/or how you specifically like to practice hospitality. Here are a couple examples from Lisa and Pat’s book:

Patti Morse shares, “We are military, so we move often. Within the first two weeks in a new home, I bake a batch of homemade cookies and take a plate of cookies around to all my neighbors. With each plate, I write a note containing our name, phone number, and a Scripture verse. To minister to my husband’s unit, I make every Monday special by sending in a back-to-work treat for them to enjoy with their morning cups of coffee. Each treat is accompanied by a special Scripture and word of appreciation.”

Elizabeth Gilbert reminds us, “Hospitality is the act of sharing one’s substance with kindness, graciousness, generosity, and genuine love (Luke 8:3). Just today in the midst of checking my son’s job of cleaning out the van, a man happened by with a child on his shoulders. He explained he had just run out of gas; his car was parked by the church across the way, and he asked if he could plea borrow some lawn mower gas just to get him to the nearby gas station. I had my eldest son run down to the shed and bring our lawn mower gas can with not much gas in it. We gladly gave the man what we had, and his immediate need was provided for. He brought back the gas can with more gas than it has held originally-a grateful man!”

So, how do you define hospitality? In what ways do you try to be hospitable to those around you? Share your thoughts in the comments and I will choose five of them to share in a post later in the week!

Photo Credit

This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife

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This Week at Desiring Virtue

Jan 14, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Practical Theology

Read All the Books of the Bible!

Have you chosen a Bible plan to follow this year? I am very, very happy with my reading planbecause it allows me to have all the flexibility I love, and at the same time it helps me not to leave out books like Amos or Numbers. Sisters, no matter which Bible Reading plan you follow, make sure you read all the Bible this year, not only the Psalms.

I have learned that the easiest way to read all the books that seem to be hard to understand is tostudy them in depth instead of just jumping from one verse to the other trying to catch some vague significance.

So my little advice today is this: read those “hard” books from the first chapter to the last with a good study help at hand… (Keep Reading)

Submission as a Freedom?

“In assuming the relation of a wife, the woman surrenders much; still, it is a surrender. There was a moment when her independence was undisputed; if it be resigned, it is through the election of her own will. The considerations which were addressed to her judgment, or to her fancy, led her to prefer the new condition; where, if her freedom be restrained, certain advantages accrue, which, in her esteem at least, more than compensate its loss. In the comparison between the two, she deliberately chooses to be less free in order to be more happy, and therefore, she submits herself…” (Keep Reading)

Love is Risky

“Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up for safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness…” (Keep Reading)

Issues of Life

Just Another Birthday

Click here to watch Casting Crown’s new music video for the song “Just Another Birthday.” The song focuses on the life of a young girl abandoned by her father and the path that leads her to the Lord. There is a strong pro-life message in the song, but most importantly a recognition of the need for God’s love and hope to be shown to those who are in difficult circumstances.

Birthday Party Ideas

A Wonder Pet Birthday Cake Success!

Yesterday we celebrated our little Elliot’s 3rd birthday. All he asked for was a Wonder Pets birthday cake, so of course, I had to make that happen. If you are not familiar with The Wonder Pets, let me fill you in. Day after day these little classroom pets spend their time saving baby animals who are in need of assistance. When the school children leave for the day, the Wonder Pets receive phone calls from helpless baby animals. Soon Linny, Tuck, and MingMing too, are off to save the day!  Both of our boys love these helpful little animals, so I was racking my brain for a way to make a cake that would capture the “adventuresome” nature of these little characters (that wouldn’t include me, shaping and molding their little faces out of icing!).

I found this toy at Wal-mart, (also available on Amazon) that lights up and sings the show’s theme song. It was a perfect cake topper (as well as an additional present!). I decided to create a cake that provided a background for their “fly boat.” Blue buttercream icing dotted with puffy white clouds was a simple enough setting for their adventure to begin, as it always does, with them flying through the sky “on their way to save a baby animal.”

But wait, a Wonder Pet birthday cake can’t end there! It must contain a rainbow of course. Inspired by this cake, I decided to give this birthday cake a little something extra… (Keep Reading)

Happy Birthday Banner Printable

About two hours before Elliot’s Birthday party, I realized that I had forgotten to buy a “Happy Birthday” banner! “No problem,” I thought, “I will just find a printable on the internet and make my own really quick.” Well, that didn’t turn out to be as easy as I had hoped. Most of the printables available required crafting paper, or additional resources. I had paper, ink, balloons, and ribbon on hand… that was it. So of course I quickly created my own that wouldn’t need extra work to make it look cute (and I think it turned out pretty fun, if I don’t say so myself)… (Keep Reading)

Recommended Links

Desiring Virtue has linked to these sites either on Facebook or Twitter this week:

• Does Jesus Hat Religion? Kinda, Sorta, Not Really
• Why I Love Religion Because I Love Jesus
• Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together
• Evangelical Exhibitionists
• Bibliology Lesson Number 1: Revelation

Recommended Books

Desiring Virtue has either talked about or quoted these books this week:

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