Willing To Be Weak

Nov 27, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Being a wife and mother means you don’t get sick right? Not so much. Usually it means you get sick, but you don’t take the time to rest like your body needs because you feel like you can’t. Sometimes you truly are unable to control the circumstances you find yourself in: laundry needs to be done, baby’s diaper needs to be changed, and somehow we all need to eat later on. However, sometimes we make the situation worse than it needs to be by relying on our own dwindling strength rather than joyfully accepting the help that God gives us through other people.

My natural instinct when I am sick or otherwise incapacitated is to suffer through the day. Richard will ask me if I need his help and instead of taking the time to really think about what I need him to do I mutter a, “no… I got it…” (in a really pathetic, sad voice of course). Then the whole day I am thinking about how he should be anticipating what needs to be done and should simply get on it! I mean can’t he see that I am sick?????! My poor husband. The truth is that he usually has no idea what I need him to do, much less what I would like him to do. He is more than willing to do ANYTHING I ask, but really needs that prompting in order to know the “what” it is that needs to be done.

I don’t know if it is pride or self pity that causes this situation so often, but I do know a couple things:

1.) Asking for help means that you can’t handle it yourself. It means being honest about your weakness and your need of assistance. This can be hard-especially when you are the one who keeps things moving in the home on a daily basis.

2.) Asking for help means that things won’t necessarily be done your way. I like everything to be done a certain way and when it isn’t I feel the need to fix it. The world is not going to end if Elliot gets fed without a bib on or if the laundry isn’t put away in the exact right spot. The fact that these things get done without me expending energy is a beautiful thing that I should be grateful for and desirous of without exception!

3.) Giving help takes sacrifice. When I ask for help, Richard has to sacrifice his own desires and priorities in order to serve me. This is a hard one for me. I hate to feel like a burden to Richard. I know that the duties of the home are often alien to him and that Elliot takes a lot more energy than he often expects, so watching him tend to all of these things throughout the day makes me very uncomfortable. Accepting this sacrificial help means that I have to trust that the Lord will give him the energy and wisdom he needs and that the Lord doesn’t need me to accomplish his work.

4.) Giving help is a blessing. I mean this both ways. First, it is a blessing to the one who receives the help. I am always reminded of the Lord’s kindness to me when Richard sacrificially takes care of me and the rest of our home. I praise God for the love he gives to this children so that they can show that love to others! Second, it is a blessing to the giver. The Lord teaches us to serve one another continually. Sickness is one of the most obvious and practical opportunities to do this. It is also one of the times when it is the most appreciated. There is nothing better than having someone take care of everything while you get some much needed rest; likewise, there is nothing worse than trying to trudge through your daily routine when you really need to be doing nothing. Being the person that makes rest possible is both sanctifying and rewarding. It gives you the opportunity to grow in your appreciation for the person who is sick and be challenged in your own abilities.

This past weekend was an occasion where my husband had to pick up the extra slack that I could not handle. To make matters worse we were on a little trip visiting my family. I was not only sick with a soar throat, but suffering from a TERRIBLE tooth ache, and the beginnings of my pregnancy nausea!!!!! Talk about the wrong weekend to get away! Well, thanks to my wonderful husband and my gracious mother, I was able to get the rest I needed and still enjoy the time I had with my family. Amazingly enough it took incredible self restraint to accept the fact that I was going to need help and trust that things would be ok if I just closed myself up in a dark room and took a nap (multiple times throughout the weekend). I am so grateful that I did! I am also grateful that my wonderful husband took yesterday off to serve me and tend to my needs. That day made all the difference and now I am feeling much better. If I had been “brave” and told him to go to work and not “worry” about us, I would have had a terrible day and been struggling with bitterness against him in my heart. Instead I was able to enjoy the service of my wonderful husband and get some much needed rest. Thank you Husband and thank you God.