Reader Feedback: Put Family First?

Jan 26, 2012 by desiringvirtue

“…and so train the young women to love their husbands and children…” (Titus 2:4 ESV)

“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 4:8; 1 Peter 4:9-11 ESV)

On Tuesday we looked at some quotes from Practicing Hospitality that focused on putting our family first when setting out to live hospitable lives. Hospitality to others is to be constantly sought, but not at the expense of our family. Providing for the needs of others should be a natural outpouring of our everyday lives as we seek to meet the needs of our husband’s and children. It should not detract from our God-given duties to our families, but rather should enhance it.

The Reader Feedback questions centered around this idea. Here were the prompts:

How do you practically make sure that you are not neglecting your family when you seek to show hospitality to others?

How do you show hospitality to your husband and children in an effort to love them as the Bible commands you to?

Do you ever find that you struggle with the opposite problem of focusing too much on your own family to the neglect of the outside world? If so, how are you working to overcome this challenge?

Today I would like to share some of the excellent thoughts and encouragement other DV readers shared:

Laura said…

I’ve learned to be content to be practicing hospitality at home with my family and choosing a couple smaller ways to serve others at church during this crazy season of lots of littles at home. I have four (soon to be five any hour now) children age six and under. I volunteer regularly in the nursery when I don’t have nurslings who would call me out of the room. Also, I sort clothes pretty regularly at our church’s clothes closet on Wed nights. I used to regularly make meals for new moms, but now I only choose to make them for moms who live closest to me since we moved farther from most church members. I offer to watch others’ children in our home for doctors’ appointments etc. We’re trying to teach our children to care for others by serving our neighbors. We asked our son to return our neighbor’s garbage can when he began cancer treatments last summer, and this week he told me he returned the garbage can for the neighbor on our other side too, just because he wanted to help them too. I’m hoping to have more opportunities later to offer hospitality to others in our home as our children grow older and are better able to help prepare the house for guests.

Monica said…

I’ll never forget when I was eleven years old and our family of six had just moved 600 miles so that my dad could attend seminary. We visited a large church our first Sunday morning in the new town, and my parents “happened” to be sitting next to a sweet couple in Sunday school who had seven children. After the church service they turned to my parents and invited our whole family over for lunch. They weren’t worried about the state of their house, an extravagant menu, or if they’d planned correctly. We stopped by a grocery store on the way home, and the mom ran in and picked up a few extra food items. I barely remember what we ate that day or how their house looked. I do remember that their home was filled with love, friendship, and acceptance – a God send to our tired family nervous about change. We spent the entire afternoon at their home and later joined that very church. Huge amounts of spiritual growth happened in our family from attending that church, and our families are still still friends to this day. I’m grateful for this example of selfless hospitality!

Ruth said…

In the ten years of being a pastor’s wife and raising five boys, I’ve given this topic much thought. I really appreciate the thoughts you’ve written here, Jessalyn. My boys grew up with company for dinner several times a week. I’m continually learning to find the balance between family time, and sharing my family with others time. Either way, we are showing hospitality as a family, kids included. If hospitality show others’ the Gospel in a tangible way, I desire to look first to the mission field within my own home first. Thanks for this post!

Rachel said…

My tendency when I am having dinner guests is to become a stressed out maniac, running a thousand miles a minute to have every last dish done, every nook and cranny spotless, and a beautiful meal laid out just on time. I have found that the best way to serve my family is to just relax. Things don’t need to be perfect, and who cares if every guest thought it was but my husband is upset or frustrated because I snapped at him in my preparation frenzy? I would rather be kind and calm, so that my family is able to enjoy both me and our company. When preparing for guests I try to get a big head start so that I have plenty of time (eliminating stress as the countdown ensues), and the closer I get to the event I just remind myself to take deep breaths and watch my tongue. A happy family is to be treasured over a perfect house  .

Andrea said…

What I find most often among people I’ve known is that they use the idea of serving their own family as an excuse not to entertain others. If we are careful to always show hospitality and love to our own family day in and day out, then they should be able to occasionally extend themselves to others as an act of grace. I find that opening our home is also a training lesson for my children to teach them to serve others and not to be selfish. My children are quite accustomed now to having people over, and I would like to say that they rather enjoy it. Every fellowship doesn’t always go perfectly, and sometimes the house is a wreck afterwards, but it is humble gift to allow others enter our homes and allow them to see us in our “natural habitat.”

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us ladies! I was very encouraged by all of them. 

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