When the Dream of Motherhood Becomes a Reality

Mar 15, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Our youngest, suffering from Hand-Foot-Mouth

I can distinctly remember the first time I felt a genuine desire to be a mother. I was in my teens and babysitting my mentor’s children. She and my youth pastor had three beautiful little girls at the time, the youngest being around one year old. After putting all of them down to sleep and feeling very accomplished I settled down on the couch to watch a movie (I may or may not have been watching their wedding tape…). Suddenly I heard a shriek from upstairs. I bolted up to the nursery room and found the littlest girl crying hysterically in her crib. I swept her up in my arms and sat down in the rocker, gently patting her back and humming in her ear. Between singing little lullabies and the natural “sh sh sh” that seems to be built into all women, this precious little child slowly drifted back into blissful sleep. Whatever terrifying dream that had awoken her seemed to have vanished like a wisp of smoke as she laid heavily in my arms leaving only the remnant of drying tears on my shoulder. I stayed in that rocker for longer than was probably necessary, but I couldn’t help but soak up this wonderful moment. The sweet smell of a baby mixed with the quiet, heavy breathing of deep sleep filled my heart with joy and the hope of one day getting to experience such blessings on a regular basis–to be the Mommy who makes everything better.

My perception of motherhood has always been centered around moments like the story I just shared–the beautiful, happy moments (moments typically seen in movies). Before actually having children of my own I naively believed that the pictures in the Babies ‘R Us magazine were an accurate representation of what motherhood would look like. Then the reality of breastfeeding, projectile vomit, sleepless nights, fevers that drive you to the emergency room, and little to no “alone” time rushed in with the blessing of our first child. I quickly realized that motherhood was less about being a part of a “perfect moment” and more about being perfected in every moment.

My husband and I have often mused that couples should have the opportunity to take “Preparental Counseling” during the nine months they have to prepare for their first baby. Much like marriage, parenthood can benefit from preparation and a heavy dose of reality. While there is no limit to the amount of pithy statements people will offer you with “the best of intentions” as they notice your growing belly (“You will never sleep again!” or “Say goodbye to your figure!”) it is rarer to receive real, Christ-exalting, practical advice.

You see, the moment your baby arrives you are suddenly catapulted out of your magical, dream-like fantasy of what motherhood is all about and dropped into a mandatory life of sacrifice. Even the worst of mothers must, inevitably sacrifice her own desires for the wellbeing of her children to some degree. Those of us who, by God’s grace, desire to tenderly care for these little ones find that we are quickly confronted with our own selfishness as the needs of our children present themselves all. the. time. It quickly becomes apparent that one of the primary blessings of caring for children is the sanctification that Christ provides through them.

There are indeed many beautiful and perfect moments that mothers are blessed to experience. There are times when I think my heart will burst with all of the love and joy I feel when I am with my children. Every day I am given the incredible privilege of being the “Mommy who can make everything better,” and yet, every day I am confronted with my own self-centered, self-serving, just plain selfish self! Every day is an opportunity, through the abundant grace of God, to give up more of my own rights, more of my own desires for two precious souls who are utterly dependent upon me. Every day is an opportunity to give myself over to the sacrificial life that Christ calls all of his disciples to live. Every day is an opportunity to be conformed to the image of my Savior. Every day is filled with gracious blessings.

As mothers, we have a choice to either believe the world and view the daily difficulties of motherhood as an unfair burden or to believe the Word of God and view them as divine gifts meant to draw us closer to our precious Savior. The fruit of believing the world’s lies is anger, bitterness, discouragement, and dissatisfaction, but the fruit born from the Spirit as we trust in the eternal Word of God is joy, peace, perseverance, and sanctification.

For this reason, I would submit to you that your children are not just blessings when they are clean, obedient, joyful, and sleeping peacefully all through the night. No, children are a blessing in every way, even when they demand all that you have and seem to suck the life right out of you, because it is then when they have indeed sucked all of your selfish propensities and self-centered desires from you, that you reflect your Savior the most. It is then that you must cling ever so close to the cross and allow his sanctifying blood to drip over you and create in you a new person–a mother who delights in sacrifice.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good (even middle of the night breast-feeding), for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 ESV, Parenthesis added by me)

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When You No Longer Need a Diaper Bag

Mar 8, 2012 by desiringvirtue

As your babies grow bigger and require less “stuff” while out and about, your begrudgingly beloved diaper bag seems more and more of a burden than a necessity. Half the stuff in there doesn’t ever get used, while the crumbs accumulating at the apple juice-stained bottom of your bag seem to enjoy making appearances every time you whip out a diaper. You start to realize that besides diapers and wipes, there isn’t much more that your toddler really needs, making this humongous “mom bag” a little pointless. For this reason, many consider moving to what is called a “diaper pod” or “diaper pouch.”

These bags are not only helpful for those who are looking to forgo the diaper bag altogether, but for those who may still need a diaper bag for long trips but are looking for something smaller to use for quick outings. For instance, a quick trip to the grocery store. There is really no need to haul in your entire diaper bag, but you definitely don’t want to be caught unprepared when stinky smells begin emanating from your shopping cart! Many people keep their diapers and wipes in a diaper pouch within their diaper bag and then grab the pouch rather than the whole bag for quick outings.

We first began looking for a diaper pouch to lighten the load we were carrying into church on Sunday. With two toddlers in diapers and both of them needing separate bags for separate nursery classes, we easily lugged around three separate bags plus Bibles and note pads. I was happy to continue on in this burdensome way, but my husband couldn’t help but see the ridiculousness of our situation. He decided that we needed a “Sunday Bag.” He suggestion that we find one very large bag that could hold our Bibles, my personal products, snacks, wallets, and two separate smaller bags for the boys (to be divvied up when we dropped them off at their classrooms). Though I had my doubts about this “magical” Sunday bag, any idea my husband has that allows me to purchase a new purse is a-ok with me! Finding a large tote was simple enough (even one that was really cute), but finding smaller bags that could substitute as diaper bags was a little harder. Turns out you have to order those online.

The diaper pouch we settled on was a Ju Ju Be bag called the “Be Quick.” Let me tell you, I LOVE this bag. Here are the pros to the Be Quick:

It is small, but not too small. This bag is small enough to fit inside your purse, but large enough to fit everything you need it to. For instance, on Sundays I can fit 2-3 disposable diapers, a small wipe case, and a sippy cup.
It has a small zippered pouch on the inside. This pouch can be used to put a pacifier, a package of crackers, or a travel size diaper cream.
It is super washable. The fabric doesn’t collect stains and can easily be cleaned.
It has a wristlet. This is handy for quick outings when you just want to sling the bag on your wrist and go. Also, the wristlet provides a way for you to hang the bag on a hook if needed and attach a name tag.
It comes in really attractive prints. Ours is in the Marvelous Mums pattern, and I absolutely love it.
It is a high quality bag. This bag isn’t going to get ugly or break any time soon. We have had ours for over a year now and it still looks brand new. Ju Ju Be makes top notch bags (and they have a price to prove it). Just check out some of their other products and you will see what I mean.

Here is a YouTube video of the diaper pouch we settled on:

For anyone who is either looking for an alternative to their heavy duty diaper bag or a bag to use with their diaper bag for quick outings, I highly recommend the Ju Ju Be “Be Quick” Diaper Pouch.

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God’s Precious Gifts

Aug 10, 2011 by desiringvirtue

From Stepping Heavenward:

We are at a farmhouse; everything is plain but neat and nice. I asked Mrs. Brown, our hostess, the other day if she did not envy me my four little pets; she smiled, said they were the best children she ever saw, and that it was well to have a family if you have means to start them in the world. For her part, she lived from hand to mouth, as it was, and was sure she could never stand the worry and care of a house full of young ones.

“But the worry and care is only half the story, ” I said. “The other half is pure joy and delight.”

“Perhaps so to people that are well-to-do,” she replied; “but to poor folks, driven to death as we are, it’s another thing. I was telling my husband yesterday what a mercy it was there weren’t any young ones round under my feet, and I could take city boarders and help work off the mortgage on the farm.”

“And what did you husband say to that?”

“Well, he said we were young and hearty, and there was no such tearing hurry about the mortgage, and that he’d give his right hand to have a couple boys like yours.”

“Well?”

“Why, I said supposing we had a couple of boys, they wouldn’t be like yours, dressed to look genteel and to have their genteel ways, but a pair of wild colts, into everything, tearing their clothes off their backs, and wasting faster than we could earn. He said ’twasn’t the clothes, ’twasn the flesh and blood he wanted, and ’twasn’t no use to argufy about it; a man that hand’t got any children wasn’t mor’n half a man. ‘Well, ‘ Says I, ‘supposing you had a pack of ‘em, what have you got to give ‘em?’ ‘Jest exactly what my father and mother gave me,’ says he; ‘two hands to earn their bread with and a welcome you could have heard from Dan to Beersheba.’”

“I like to hear that!” I said. “And I hope many such welcomes will resound in this house. Suppose money does come in while little goes out; suppose you get possession of the whole farm; what then? Who will enjoy it with you? Who will you leave it to when you die? And in your old age, who will care for you?”

“You seem awful earnest,” she said.

“Yes, I am in earnest. I want to see little children adorning every home as flowers adorn every meadow and every wayside. I want to see them welcomed to the homes they enter, to see their parents grow less and less selfish and more and more loving because they have come. I want to see God’s precious gifts accepted, not frowned upon and refused.”

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“How Rich I Am”

Jul 25, 2011 by desiringvirtue

“I celebrate my little Una’s third birthday by presenting her with a new brother. Both the children welcomed him with delight that was of itself compensation enough for all it cost me to get up such a celebration. Martha takes a most prosaic view of this proceeding, in which she detects malice prepense on my part. She says I shall now have one mouth the more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing.

Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worth all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ’s name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome in your mother’s heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!” (Kate Mortimer’s thoughts regarding her children in Stepping Heavenward)

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Back to Disposables?

Jul 13, 2011 by desiringvirtue

As many of you know I am very fond of cloth diapers. OK, fond is an understatement… I LOVE cloth diapers (to check out the series I did years ago click here). However, since moving in with my parents we have temporarily gone back to disposables to make the laundry situation more manageable. This has had its perks and its drawbacks, but more than anything it has solidified my joy in cloth diapering. Here are some observations from my second go around with disposable diapers and my longing for those precious FuzziBunz that are packed away in our storage unit:

1. Disposables are easier…?

Yes it is true, disposables are in fact easier than cloth.Who would have guessed? There is no washing involved, no dunking diapers in toilets, and no stuffing inserts into pockets every morning. And yet there is an element of difficulty involved. The amount of times I have had to call Richard in a panic saying… “We need more diapers!” or “Ahhh, we are out of wipes!” keeps me from saying that disposables are definitively easier than cloth. Last minute trips to CVS and Walmart are not my idea of ease.

There is an element of simplicity involved in cloth diapering. You are not dependent on a perishable product that you must replenish every week. Instead, you develop a self sufficiency as you learn to clothe your baby’s bottom with a lasting product. If I suddenly run out of clean diapers while cloth diapering, I know that I can simply toss my Fuzzibunz in the wash and be ready to go in a couple hours. In the mean time I can simply pull out a trusty prefold diaper and keep my baby dry while we wait.

2. The cost of disposables is outrageous!

I realize there are some mommies out there that are super coupon savvy and get great deals on diapers. But I am pretty sure that even the savviest couponer could not beat the savings that cloth diapers offer. Every time we go to Walmart to pick up more diapers I feel the pain of money leaving our bank account (money that could be used for other things). For some people this pain is minimal compared to the annoyance of cleaning cloth diapers, but I am not one of them. This has been particularly difficult as we have two littles still using diapers… yes, I said two.

Note: If you use disposables and are Amazon Prime Members make sure to check out Amazon Mom. It offers some great deals on diapers and you will not pay for shipping.

3. I just plain miss those sweet, adorable, soft diapers.

After using cloth for so long, using disposables feels a little like downgrading. I know that sounds strange, but I miss getting to choose which color, pattern, or type of diaper my babies would wear at any particular diaper change. Pulling out a paper diaper five (no, make that 10) times a day just lacks the same level of enjoyment. While it is true, diaper changes are quicker and at times less gross (I’m thinking about some particularly dirty diapers in the past), I truly do miss wrapping my babies’ bottoms in soft fleece material rather than paper. Call me crazy, but there is just something about cloth diapering that is very enjoyable despite all the ickiness involved.

4. Diaper rash is no fun.

While I would never tell you that cloth diapering completely prevents diaper rash, I will tell you that disposables cause more diaper rash than cloth. Since going back to disposables the boys have suffered some pretty bad cases and very often. This is not only painful for baby, but adds up as you stock that expensive diaper rash cream!

So, there you have it, some recent observations concerning disposable and cloth diapers. Suffice it to say, though you may see my children running around in disposable diapers, their mommy is a cloth diaper lover at heart and will quickly switch back to them when circumstances allow.

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Baths

Mar 22, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Don’t have a Baby Bath Tub? No problem!

Just use a sink.

Or a sand castle bucket.

Or a mixing bowl.

Or a stew pot.

…I did.

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“You’re Super Mom!”

Feb 8, 2011 by desiringvirtue

When people (my family) found out I made Elliot’s baby food they thought I was insanely cool. Suddenly my mom points went from a good 6 to a full out 9. The funny thing is that making your own baby food is really pretty simple~ as long as you have a food processor/blender you are set to go. Yes, it takes a little bit of time, but it is actually quite fun AND both my babies seem to prefer fresh baby food to the packaged/processed stuff. Also, it can save a substantial amount of money on the grocery bill. So, there you have it-three positives already!

Simple. Fun. Money Saving.

We don’t even have to go into all of the other specifics to making your own baby food to know that ANYONE who wants to, can indeed accomplish this simple task. You don’t have to be Super Mom. You just have to want to. -Make baby food, not be Super Mom… though you could want both.

There is something so enjoyable about steaming fruits and veggies, pureeing them, adding your own spices, coming up with your own mixtures and then putting them in the cute containers of your choice. Trust me… it is enjoyable.

But How?

Wash and peal your choice fruit/veggies.
Most fruits and veggies can simply be steamed in the microwave (this is actually better than steaming on the stove top because you can use all of the vitamin rich juices). Just put them in a bowl with a little bit of water (a few tablespoons at the most), cover with cling wrap, and then zap until tender enough to puncture with a fork.
Next transfer them (watch out, it is hot!) to a food processor/blender and… blend. Add the spices you want and more water if the mixture is too thick.
When you achieve the desired consistency, pour (or spoon, this is where I always make a mess) into freezer containers. You can buy special containers for this, use canning jars (pictured above), or simply freeze the food in ice cube trays and transfer into plastic baggies once frozen.
Viola! Super Mom status.

Now obviously, there are some important things to think about when making your own baby food. For instance: which foods are good to introduce at what age. For that kind of in depth information, follow this link to a helpful site: www.wholesomebabyfood.com

Money Saving Tips:

I feel like you save money on most foods, but sweet potatoes are where it is at in the money saving department. You will find the best deals on veggies will be in the frozen food section, and even some fruits for that matter. Apples are the one item that I find to be unnecessary to make at home. It just isn’t worth it. You can get a big jar of unsweetened apple sauce for a much better price than the amount of apples you will have to peal, core, and chop to match it. It is also very nice to be able to add premade apple sauce to your creations to get a nice mix of flavors!

What is my creation above? Cinnamon Carrot Apple Deluxe! That is right, I added the “Deluxe” for added sparkle. It is one of Hudson’s favorites, and actually Elliot is obsessed with it as well. I can hardly feed it to Hudson without Elliot attacking me. So, finally I thought, “Hey, if he likes pureed carrots he can have them!” He eats it like regular apple sauce and I feel quite pleased with myself.

So if you thought homemade baby food was only for the Super Moms out there, you were wrong. Put on your apron and get to making your own!

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One Picture

Jan 20, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Joy.

That little apartment was beaming with joy. Inside was a young wife who had just confirmed her suspicions-she was pregnant. Life was blossoming within her and she couldn’t contain the smile it produced on her lips.

“Hello little one,” she sang as she gently caressed her now precious belly.

How would she tell her Love? How should she share with him the most wonderful news of their lives?

She raced to the store to buy a statue of a man holding his newborn baby-she remembered her love admiring it before. Soon she was in her galley kitchen mixing the batter to a cake she would ice blue and pink. She quickly prepared the tiny home for her Love’s arrival, made their favorite dinner and queued the movie to just the right place.

There was his key in the door. That familiar sound sent excitement through her veins as she put on the most ordinary face possible.

“I want to eat in here tonight,” she said motioning into the living room where the baked tortellini was sending steam to the ceiling of the enchanted room.

“Ok, what are we watching?” His eyes moved from the little laptop screen to her coy face.

“Oh, I was watching Made for Each Other, do you want to keep watching?”

Always up for a Jimmy Stewart film, he settled into their couch and marveled at the cake. “Wow! What is the occasion?”

“No occasion, just felt like baking…” Did he not notice the color scheme? Oh never mind he will get it soon enough she said to herself.

The movie took up where she had stopped it: John Mason opens the note slipped to him by his wife and he slowly grasps that they are going to have a baby. As the couple on screen exchange bewildered expressions the little wife sitting next to her unsuspecting husband presented him with a gift. His confusion fell to the ground with the wrapping as he helds the final clue to his future.

“No way!”

“Yes.” She nodded her head through tears and they embraced. That night was filled with laughter and talk of the future. Images of a beautiful child flashed in their imaginations as they spoke of the experiences to come. They threw off any fears that some might suppose accompany such news and thanked their Heavenly Father for the gift of life produced through their love.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” -James 1:17

Their child was shrouded with prayer that night. That night in January of 2008.

Pain.

It wasn’t normal. Surely she shouldn’t be feeling like this. Is that blood?

“No, God, please no.” Tears formed pools of sadness in her eyes. She looked out the window and prayed to her Father, but in her heart she already knew what was going to happen.

The next day the young wife and her brave husband sat in a dark room next to the glow of a computer monitor showing their baby. Their precious baby, so small, so miraculous.

“It is hard to tell at this point,” the caring voice cautioned, “Usually there is a heart beat, but sometimes not yet.”

Not yet? Could the young wife cling to those words? “Can we have that picture?” she asked hesitantly.

One picture. One piece of evidence. Proof that a baby had existed. One glimpse into their possible future.

They left that room with uncertainty, but the next few days of anguish confirmed the young wife’s heart knowledge.

Her baby was taken from her. In a war of horrid pain her baby was snatched from her womb. Where life had once been, there was only stillness. In the final hours of February 25th the young mother and the young father she loved lost their baby. A still silence punctuated only by their soft whimpers filled their tiny apartment. Her mother, the bereaved grandmother, sat close by stunned by the utter sadness. What words were there to say?

Silence was broken by the young mother’s feeble words, “We should pray.” The young father, her love, lifted up their little family to their good God. They asked for peace, for comfort, for joy. They asked for clarity and trust. Their hearts cried out to the One who took their baby, the baby he had given them.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” -Job 1:21

“Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” -Job 2:10

Sacrifice.

The pain didn’t go away. She carried it with her everywhere she went. It was heavy at first, strong like the waves of the ocean. Each baby she saw seemed to push her back down into memories of a lost future. Push, push, crash, crash. As she worshiped alongside other families on Sundays she silently cried, longing for what they had, longing for her baby, her lost baby.

But her pain wasn’t wasted. It wasn’t for nothing. Every tear, every longing was a sacrifice she offered up to her God, beautiful incense. She begged her Savior to teach her the lesson he intended for her to learn, that she would have the ears to hear it and the heart to grasp it. She gave him her pain and asked for his strength.

She asked him to be strong for her and he was.

“Who is like the LORD our God, who is seated on high, who looks far down on the heavens and the earth? He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes, with the princes of his people. He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!” -Psalm 113:5-9

Every day she grew stronger and slowly the waves got smaller. The Lord brought new blessings into her life. She would never be the same. Her faith was deeper, more real than it had been. She walked through the fire of affliction and was more beautiful because of it. She loved her God with a more natural, more pure love. Her praises were filled with memories of of pain and deliverance; her testimony one that had been tried, tested. She was thankful, thankful for the pain.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” -James 1:2-4

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What to Pack for the Hospital; PT 2

Jun 17, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Yesterday we looked at a list of items that my friends and I feel are “Must Haves” while at the hospital. Today we are going to look at some items that aren’t as imperative, but will make your stay way more comfortable and maybe even a little bit like a small vacation… ok, so a vacation might be a little over the top, but you know what I mean!

The Luxuries:

A Robe. A nice, comfortable robe can not only help you keep covered up, but keep you warm!
Books and Games. You never know how long your delivery will take or how long you will be stuck at the hospital. Reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond can get old, so you may want to bring some reading material, cards, etc… to keep you and your husband entertained.
Quarters. Bringing a few dollars in quarters will help your hubby get some drinks and snacks from the vending machine.
Laptop (and other electronics). For some people this is a must have, but for others it is a luxury. Again, the point being to post pics online while you stay at the hospital…. or even do a blog post!
A Snack Bag for Guests. In the must haves I mentioned bringing snacks for you and your husband, but one of my friends mentioned providing snacks for guests. This would be especially thoughtful if you have a long delivery and a bunch of family waiting on baby’s arrival.
A Comfortable Nursing Bra. Wearing a bra in the hospital will make you feel more… presentable and will keep those hugs from being too awkward! (of course you will just have to deal with this until after the delivery because you aren’t allowed to wear anything under your hospital gown.)
A Journal. Taking a few moments to record your thoughts and emotions as you bring a life into this world will be something you treasure for the rest of your life-and something your child treasures as well!
Clothes For Your Little One. The hospital will automatically put simple white shirts on your baby, but these tend to be worn out and old looking. If you picture your baby wearing special newborn outfits during his/her stay, you will need to bring them.
A Baby Blanket. You will be given receiving blankets, but you may want to bring something snuggly for your little one as well!
A Boppy Pillow. This one item will make nursing much easier (especially if you are a first time mommy)!
Thank You Notes. Might as well use the time for something you will have NO time for when you get home!

Do you have anything to add to these lists? Share your “Must Have” or “Luxury” item in the comments for others to see!

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On Motherhood and Tiny Men

Jun 15, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Who am I that the Lord would give me the responsibility of raising these precious tiny men? Surely he knows my weakness, my selfishness, my laziness. Surely he has not forgotten the many times I have brought shame upon his name or the times I have worshiped other gods. No, of course he has not forgotten. Yet, he has chosen this foolish woman to care for and nurture the souls of these precious little ones. This quest will test every inch of me and bring me to the cross time and time again.

Oh Lord, may I never attempt to raise these men without your Spirit. May my heart cling to the power you have lavished upon me through your Son as I strive to impart wisdom and discipline. May they grow up to be men who glorify your name and fight for your Kingdom, your honor. Let these tiny feet go to nations in need of the light of the gospel; let these little hands care for the poor and needy; let these wide eyes gaze upon the beauty of the Savior and be moved by it. May their voices be filled with the words of the Most High God and their actions driven by them.

It is a weighty task to raise tiny men into mighty Christ-followers, weighty and honorable. My strength is nothing and my talents are worthless… it is Christ who must take up this task through me and I who must fade into the background of my life. He is the one who will nourish their souls, who will give wisdom and insight to their minds. He will love them as they could never be loved by another and will show them the path of godliness. I am simply a vessel for the Lord to use as he wills in the lives of my tiny men.

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What to Pack for the Hospital; PT 1

Jun 15, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Living at the hospital for a couple of days after your baby is born can be uncomfortable to say the least. Not only are you hooked up to machines half the time, but you are being checked on, talked to, and prodded every couple hours. People are going in and out of your room constantly and your husband is probably trying to sleep on a very uncomfortable “bed.” When packing for this glorious stay at the hospital you may be wondering what to bring. What are the necessities and what are the luxuries that you will want to have with you? How should you prepare for the first couple days of your little one’s life?

There are definitely certain items that you MUST have, but then there are the items that no baby book will tell you would be WONDERFUL to have. For this reason I asked a few of my friends who have also recently had babies in the hospital to share their wisdom and advice with us on what to bring to the hospital. Thank you Joelle, Sky, and Monica for your helpful input. I am sure that many other ladies will benefit from your practical advice! Today we will begin with the items you will really want to have with you.

The Must Haves:

“Fat Pants”. Big, comfortable sweat pants you can wear after you are allowed to switch from your hospital gown.
A Guest Book. You will have lots of guests visiting your new baby (and you of course), it is nice to have a record of who came and if they brought any gifts (for those thank you cards!).
A Camera. Make sure you have everything you need like extra batteries and film (if you still use film…. anyone?); you don’t want to miss a single adorable moment!
Slippers. Those tile floors can be chilly!
Chapstick. No water means your lips will be dry!
Nursing Night Gowns. When you are allowed to change out of that hospital gown you will want to wear something that is easy to nurse in and will still give the doctors easy access for check ups.
Cell Phone and Charger. You will want to send out that mass text message when baby arrives and you may also need it for an alarm clock!
Video Camera. If you have one, bring it! You will be able to capture some sweet moments with your little one.
A Few Options of Clothing for the Ride Home. You never know what will fit well and what will be uncomfortable until the day you are ready to leave the hospital so give yourself a couple options. *see note on “Fat Pants.”
Snacks. Let’s face it, hospital food is TERRIBLE. Aside from family and friends bringing you glorious food from your favorite restaurant you will want some good snacks to munch on.
Personal Care Items. Make sure to pack shampoo, conditioner, facial soap, your blow dryer, straightener, etc… It is nice to feel “put together” while you are receiving guests and having pictures taken of you constantly.
Makeup. See above note on personal care items.
Your Own Pillow.
Your Own Blanket. Bring something think to put over the paper thin blanket the hospital provides. I brought two fleece throw blankets, one for me and one for my husband and I was so glad I did.
Your Laptop… if you want to put photos online while you are still in the hospital.
A Husband Bag. Don’t forget about your dear husband… he needs clothes and pajamas as well!
A Nursing Cover. A baby blanket will do, but make sure you bring something you can hide behind when the unexpected visitor arrives.
BIG COMFY UNDERWEAR. They need to be able to fit a HUGE pad in them! (Helpful tip: in the case of a unexpected C-section, you may want to include a pair of high rise underwear so that the elastic doesn’t rub against your incision.)
A “Going Home Outfit” for Baby. Pack something small and cute for your little one!

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Motives and Methods… a look at birth control (Pt.4)

May 7, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Last Thoughts

My purpose in doing this series has been to challenge the culturally accepted use of abortive birth control methods and to look into the heart of our dependence on them. I have done a somewhat adequate job on the first point, but today I want to take a few moments to focus on the second point. If it is true, which I believe the evidence clearly proves (if you haven’t already, please read this and this), that the pill and other forms of hormonal birth control methods could abort a fertilized egg, then why do so many Christians still use them? Here are some common objections that people raise to abandoning methods like the pill and responses to them:

“If God wants us to get pregnant, then he can surely work around the birth control method we have chosen.”

Yes this is true, and many times he does (most of us know people who have gotten pregnant on the pill), but it does not in any way lessen our own responsibility for the life/lives of the child/children we could be unknowingly aborting through knowingly taking a substance that could keep a fertilized egg from implanting. The analogy of not buckling your child into a car seat while driving does not adequately represent this choice. It is more closely related to not putting them in a car seat and then purposefully driving recklessly on a busy highway. God can keep your child safe in such a situation, but he doesn’t have to, and he doesn’t always.

“We are not taking the pill with the intention of aborting a baby… our intention is to prevent conception of a baby, which the Bible does not prohibit.”

Intentions are important, but they don’t change the reality of what is going on in our bodies. If we know that something we are doing has the possibility to kill a baby, then our “intentions” are naive at best. A helpful analogy would be the alcoholic mother who doesn’t intend to hurt her developing child, but doesn’t mind taking the risk involved in constantly subjecting her child to a substance that is known to have harmful effects on developing children. Once a woman knows about the possible abortive effect of the pill (or any other birth control method that works in the same way) she is responsible for that knowledge and must follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

“We can’t really know when a baby’s life begins; what if an embryo isn’t even a baby until it actually attaches to the uterus?”

It is true that we know very little about when a person becomes a person. When does God create a soul from a sperm and an egg…? These are impossible distinctions to make. Most secular physicians have redefined a true pregnancy to the embryo who has successfully attached itself to the uterus. Yet, even before that pivotal moment the child has a unique DNA that is a combination of the father and mother’s. It has a gender and is already developing and increasing in complexity. The mere fact that we can’t put our finger on when exactly that zygote becomes (or has already become) a person should lead us to be very careful and conservative in our speculations. The same dehumanizing logic is used by those who support early term abortions and should be strictly guarded against. It seems as though the safest place to mark the beginning of a new life is when the two distinct objects (a wife’s egg and husband’s sperm) combine to form a completely new creation-one that is unique from both the mother and father. This zygote (quickly developing into an embryo before it reaches the uterus) is not just another part of the woman’s body, it is now a distinct body within the mothers.

“We need the certainty of a certain kind of birth control in order to plan our family responsibly.”

The introduction of the pill, IUD, etc… into society created a sense of security and control for women and their sexual partners. Their effectiveness gave couples the very real option of putting off children for as long as they felt it necessary. The link between sex and reproduction has in many ways been severed due to their extreme effectiveness. This kind of mindset has certainly infiltrated the Christian community as well. The risk of getting pregnant, even while using other purely contraceptive methods, is seen as a negative predicament while the certainty of the pill is seen as a blessing. We tend to get married young (a great thing!), but purposefully put off children until we are comfortable adding them to our lives whether for careers, monetary reasons, passions, ministry aspirations, etc…. simply because we have the ability to (thanks to methods like the pill). These things are not necessarily wrong in and of themselves, but if the method you employ to put off children has the potential to kill children in the process, it must be abandoned no matter what its positive attributes might be. Furthermore, if discontinuing the use of a potentially sinful birth control method is difficult because of fear for the future or a distain for children interrupting your life, you may want to do some studying on what the Bible says about those concerns.

“If I don’t use this particular birth control method I will inevitably get pregnant.”

A doctor once laughed as he told me, “You know what they call women who don’t use birth control… pregnant!” He was referring specifically to the pill in that case. There are other ways to prevent pregnancy such as condoms, cervical caps, and the rhythm method, but it is true that they are less reliable, less effective, and sometimes less convenient. I know couples who were able to put off children for years using the rhythm method and condoms, but also know women who this has not been as effective for. I see three different issues at the heart of this concern: 1.) Willingness to do whatever the Lord convicts you of no matter what the consequences (such as getting pregnant sooner than desired); 2.) Trust in the Lord’s plan and provision for your life if you were to get pregnant; 3.) Believing that the Lord was not lying when he called children a blessing and not a burden to be avoided at any cost.

These are just some of the common concerns I have heard from those who are confronted with the information included in my earlier posts. My heart here is not to make them sound trivial in any way. My desire is to dig beneath the concerns and look into the motives of making the choice to take a substance that could cause an abortion. It is my adamant opinion that Christian women should avoid the pill and other similar birth control methods because it is the wisest choice to make. It is possible that your body will never abort a fertilized egg while taking the pill, but it is also possible that it may (even multiple times) keep your body from accepting a developing baby in your womb. For as long as this is a real possibility my conscience will not allow me to put my “possible children” at risk. It is my earnest prayer that after researching the information I have provided, you and your husband will come to the same conclusion.

As Christians we are to look distinctly different from the world around us. We are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind. This includes trusting him, obeying the Holy Spirit who convicts the heart, and thanking him for the gift and blessing of children and the way he has designed our bodies to conceive life. We are also to love our neighbor as ourself, which means that as Christians we must continually seek to put the good of others before our own. In this case we must choose to put the safety of our developing children above the convenience and security a particular birth control method offers.

Please weigh the evidence and pray that the Lord would lead you and your husband to obey him in this very intimate area of your life.

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Motives and Methods… a look at birth control (Pt.3)

Apr 23, 2010 by desiringvirtue

The Pill

Did you know that conception is defined as the moment when an egg and a sperm fuze to produce a new human? Within minutes of a sperm entering a woman’s body, she can conceive a baby with its own unique DNA. At that moment the blueprints for a person are completely contained within this tiny, single celled, simple creation… including its gender! As this new creation travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus it continues to develop by subdividing into smaller cells. Finally, it makes its home in the lush endometrium (lining of the uterus) where it will find the safe environment and nourishment necessary to continue development until it is ready to be delivered in nine months. It is an incredible process that reveals God’s perfect planning, power, and thoughtfulness.

When a couple decides to delay or inhibit this natural process they can do so by any of the means described in the previous Methods post and many more. One of the most common methods used by American women and even by Christian women is the pill. It’s simple, effective, and popular. Many pastors will even recommend it to their premarital counselees as a good option for those wishing to postpone pregnancy because it is generally thought to prevent conception completely, thus acting as a contraceptive and not as an abortifacient.

Early versions of the pill were in fact more likely to act in a completely contraceptive manner because of the extremely high dose of estrogen they contained. However, due to increasing awareness of the negative effects of such high doses of estrogen in women, the FDA quickly restricted the amount of estrogen contained in American birth control pills in 1988. The pill, which started out having a standard 150 micrograms of estrogen now has about 20-35. These “low dose” pills have a much higher chance of aborting a conceived baby than their earlier predecessors.

So how does the pill work and why does it have the potential to abort a conceived baby?

The combination of estrogen and progestin contained in the pill does three things:

It inhibits ovulation (this is the primary mechanism)
It thickens the cervical mucus, thereby making it more difficult for sperm to travel to the egg
It thins and shrivels the lining of the uterus to the point that it is unable or less able to facilitate the implantation of the newly fertilized egg.

Think of the second and third mechanisms as the back up in case ovulation does in fact occur while taking the pill (which we know is possible since we have all heard of people getting pregnant while on the pill). The first two mechanisms are contraceptive. The third is abortive.

The third mechanism (the alteration to the uterus) is also the most debated among gynecologists. This is interesting because the Physician’s Desk Reference (the most frequently used reference book by physicians in America) clearly states: “Combination oral contraceptives act by suppression of gonadotropins. Although the primary mechanism of this action is inhibition of ovulation, other alterations include changes in the cervical mucus, which increase the difficulty of sperm entry into the uterus, and changes in the endometrium which reduce the likelihood of implantation.”

What does it mean for the endometrium to change in a way that reduces the likelihood of implantation? Randy Alcorn summarizes the process in this way:

“As a woman’s menstrual cycle progresses, her endometrium gradually gets richer and thicker in preparation for the arrival and implantation of any newly conceived child. In a natural cycle, unimpeded by the Pill, the endometrium experiences an increase of blood vessels, which allow a greater blood supply to bring oxygen and nutrients to the child. There is also an increase in the endometrium’s stores of glycogen, a sugar that serves as a food source for the blastocyst (child) as soon as he or she implants.

The Pill keeps the woman’s body from creating the most hospitable environment for a child, resulting instead in an endometrium that is deficient in both food (glycogen) and oxygen. The child may die because he lacks this nutrition and oxygen.

Typically, the new person attempts to implant at six days after conception. If implantation is unsuccessful, the child is flushed out of the womb in a miscarriage. When the miscarriage is the result of an environment created by a foreign device or chemical, it is in fact an abortion. This is true even if the mother does not intend it, and is not aware of it happening.” (Bold added by me)

The condition of the uterus when a baby arrives from the fallopian tube is very important. When an IVF practitioner is about to implant an embryo from a petri dish into a womb he knows that the more lush and rich in blood supply and nutrients an endometrium is, the greater chance the embryo has of survival. It is the same in a naturally occurring pregnancy. Women who are blessed with the ability to conceive a child and who are not altering their endometrium with the pill provide a much more hospitable environment for the conceived child than those who alter the state of their uterus with the pill.

It is true that not every conception results in a successful pregnancy, even in the most perfect of circumstances, but this is beyond our control and in the hands of our God. It is a different matter altogether when we as women (and possible mothers) purposefully take a substance that has the potential to abort a pregnancy that has already begun. The ability of the pill to do such a thing should give us great pause and cause us to prayerfully consider whether or not a Christian should use such a substance at all.

Click here to go to the next post in this series.

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Motives and Methods… a look at birth control (Pt.2)

Apr 19, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Methods

Six months into our married life we stopped using the pill. Why am I telling you this? Why am I sharing something so incredibly personal with you? Because it wasn’t just a personal decision, it was an ethical decision. As a Christian who believes in the sanctity of human life, as a person who holds to life beginning at conception (a fertilized egg that has its own unique DNA), as a woman and mother who wishes she had known more from the beginning, I want to share with you the knowledge that I lacked when I started taking the pill.

Birth control options are abounding today due to incredible advances in medical science. A woman can control when she has a child by simply taking a pill once a day or having an IUD implanted directly into her uterus. But not all methods of birth control work in the same way. Some are purely contraceptive (keeping a husband’s sperm from ever fertilizing and egg), others are completely abortive (keeping a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterus), while still others are contraceptive and abortive (contain multiple methods of keeping you from getting pregnant, including making it impossible for a fertilized egg to attach to the uterus). Here is a simple list (not exhaustive at all) of the two major categories of birth control (mostly taken from the very informative site Abort73.com):

Contraceptive Birth Control Methods (cannot cause an abortion):

Continuous Abstinence – The only method that is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy and disease.
Periodic Abstinence or Fertility Awareness Methods – Being abstinent on the days you may be fertile or using a “barrier” method of birth control (condoms, diaphragms, or cervical caps) on fertile days.
The Male Condom – Prevents sperm from reaching the egg.
The Female Condom – Worn by the woman, prevents sperm from reaching the egg.
Diaphragm – A shallow latex cup that prevents sperm from reaching the egg, requires a visit with your health care provider for proper fitting.
Cervical Cap – A thimble-shaped latex cup that prevents sperm from reaching the egg, requires a visit with your health care provider for proper fitting.
Surgical Sterilization (Tubal Ligation or Vasectomy) – Permanent surgical methods of birth control. Tubal ligations prevent a woman’s eggs from reaching her uterus. Vasectomies to prevent sperm from entering a woman during intercourse.

Birth Control Methods That Can Cause an Abortion:

Copper T IUD (Intrauterine Device) – A small, copper-containing device that is shaped in the form of a “T.” and placed inside the uterus by a health care provider. The copper arms prevent fertilization by keeping sperm from entering the fallopian tubes. If fertilization does occur, the IUD would prevent the fertilized egg from implanting in the lining of the uterus.
Progestasert IUD (Intrauterine Device) – A small plastic device that is shaped in the form of a “T.” and placed inside the uterus by a health care provider. It contains the hormone progesterone, which causes the cervical mucus to thicken so sperm cannot reach the egg, and so that a fertilized egg cannot successfully implant into the lining of the uterus.
The Mini-Pill – The mini-pill only has one hormone, progestin, instead of both estrogen and progestin. Taken daily, the mini-pill reduces and thickens cervical mucus to prevent sperm from reaching the egg. It also prevents a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus (womb).
Emergency Contraception (“Morning After” Pill, Postcoital Contraception, Plan B, etc.) – According to WebMd, emergency contraception “is a form of birth control that may be used by women who have had unprotected sex or if a contraceptive method fails.” The reason there is so much confusion as to whether or not emergency contraception has the potential to be abortifacient is because those marketing it seem to have subtly changed the definition of pregnancy. This is perhaps nowhere more evident than on the website for Plan B® One-Step.

On the “Consumer” side of the website we read this (select “How Does it Work?” then “Learn More” to read for yourself):

Plan B® One-Step is not an abortion pill. It won’t work if you’re already pregnant. If you take Plan B® One-Step and are already pregnant, it will not affect your existing pregnancy.

On the “Prescribers” side, we find something very different:

Plan B® One-Step works primarily by: Preventing ovulation. Possibly preventing fertilization by altering tubal transport of sperm and/or egg. Altering the endometrium, which may inhibit implantation (emphasis added).

The first two methods work to prevent an egg from being fertilized. The third method works to destroy the fertilized embryo. That’s abortion. When Duramed Pharmaceuticals, the manufacturer of Plan B® One-Step, tells consumers in no uncertain terms that emergency contraception cannot cause an abortion or interfere with an existing pregnancy, either they are lying outright or they’ve redefined pregnancy as something that begins at implantation instead of fertilization. Since they plainly admit on the “Prescriber” side of their site that emergency contraception can prevent an embryo from implanting in the mother’s uterus, we must assume the latter.

Oral Contraceptives (the pill): contain both estrogen and progestin in very low doses to 1.) prevent ovulation, 2.) effect cervical mucus making it harder for sperm to enter into the uterus, 3.) change the endometrium’s (uterus’) ability to support a fertilized egg.

Of course there are many more options available that fall into each of these categories, but these are the ones that I know the most about and can clearly articulate to you. I emphasized the oral contraceptive method because it, I believe is the one least understood by Christian couples who are contemplating the choices available to them. I believe that many couples, like us, would be shocked to know that the pill has the potential to act in the same way as the morning after pill does. I know there are many women out there, like me, who do not realize that they could be aborting a baby by taking a simple pill every morning.

So the question is, can the pill (the most widely used birth control method in the United States) cause a woman’s body to abort a fertilized egg? If it can, is it the Christian’s obligation to refrain from such a form of birth control? As Randy Alcorn says, “For those who believe God is the Creator of each person and the giver and taker of human life, this is a question with profound moral implications.” As women desiring virtue it is a question we must ask.

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Motives and Methods… a look at birth control

Apr 15, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Our Story

I still remember going to the gynecologist for the first time. I was very nervous, especially because my doctor was a man! It was a few months before Richard and I were to be married and I needed information about birth control. To make matters more interesting I saw my pastor’s wife in the hospital parking lot on the way in… “Welcome to womanhood!” she exclaimed as we parted. I came out of that appointment with a prescription for a pill that would keep me from getting pregnant until Richard and I decided the “time was right.”

Our plan was to finish Richard’s last year of undergrad and get a few years of seminary out of the way before we started having children. Of course we were open to God changing our plan at any time, but it was a plan nonetheless. Most of the young Christian couples around us were on the pill and none of our spiritual leaders warned against it. The closest we got to a caution was the statement, “it is a matter of conviction for each couple.” We just assumed this was referring to the decision to delay having children or the idea of planning how many children to have, not to the actual bioethics involved in the method. I started taking the pill with little hesitation and a lot of naivety.

Richard and I wanted to have a large family from the start. We love children and have always thought of them as a blessing rather than a burden. We did, however, lean toward waiting until we were at a place financially where Richard could fully support us and I could stay home full time with our children. Our desire for kids was something we felt could be sacrificed until we were closer to finishing Richard’s schooling. So that is where we were…. wanting children, but waiting until we were “ready.”

The pill was easy. The pill was also effective. Everyone else was taking the pill. We were taking the pill.

Four and a half months down our married road a coworker got me thinking about that decision again. He was one of the few Christians working at my Starbucks and for some reason everybody knew that he and his wife were not on birth control. This was partly because people who work at a coffee shop have plenty of time to talk about other people’s business and partly because he wanted people to know about the possible abortive effect the pill could have on a forming baby. Inevitably we got to talking about it one day and he began explaining how he and his wife had made the decision not to use the pill after her gynecologist admitted that there was a chance of a fertilized egg being aborted while using the pill. This was new information to me… after all, I thought the pill was supposed to keep an egg from ever getting fertilized in the first place! I took what he said, gave it a little thought, and then decided that there was a difference between a possibility of a fertilized egg being aborted and purposefully aborting a fertilized egg. He patiently and sensitively waited and did not press the issue any further.

The Lord did not allow me to go too long before bringing this issue back to mind however. This was around the time when President Bush was in office and all of the hoopla about embryonic stem cell research was going on. For good reason the Christian community was very much against the purposeful destruction of human embryos. I wondered how much of a difference there was between my “possible baby” and these “possible babies.” Then the research began. I started trying to dig up anything I could that would shed some light on what the pill actually does to my system and what it could do to my “possible baby.”

One of the most important and helpful resources I found was Randy Alcorn’s abbreviated version of Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?. It is a thorough and honest look at what the medical community has to say about the pill and also what the Christian response to it should be. After investigating a little further my heart and mind was made up; I couldn’t purposefully take a medication that I knew had the potential to abort a fertilized egg; I couldn’t purposefully put a baby, my baby at risk. After discussing it with Richard (who by the way, had been reading all the same material I had) we decided to stop using the pill. Six months into our married life we stopped using the pill.

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Perfect Moments

Jan 3, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Darkness surrounds us and silence is broken only by soft, tiny, even breaths. They were not always thus. No, a few moments ago they were short, scared, filled with pain. That was before Mommy was with you, before you felt the skin of her soft shoulder beneath your head, before you heard her gentle voice fill your soul. But she is here now; I am here now.

Mommy’s mind races through the countless times she has rocked you like this. The many minutes, hours that we have spent together in the darkness. Rocking. There were the nights when you nursed at her breast, so small and delicate. Now you are warm, heavy, and beautiful sleeping quietly on my shoulder.

Time seems to move slower when we rock in the darkness. Looking into your angelic face I know that I am forever blessed. Many will never experience these perfect moments, but God has given them to me in abundance. Though you dream far away, Mommy whispers a prayer praising her Father for the miracle that you are. Must I surrender you to your bed and leave this night to the cruel dimness of memory?

I’ll let you go now sweet child. Don’t you worry or stir as I set you down. I am never more than a whimper away, never more than a soft cry down the hall. If you call me I will hear you because that is what Mommies do. Our souls are connected and I feel when you need me. While the rest of the world sleeps, my heart keeps watch over you, my little one. It won’t allow me to forget you; it won’t allow me to sleep through.

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Diaper Diaries (Pt. 7)

Nov 23, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Conclusion and Last Thoughts

I think I have just about shared everything I know about cloth diapers with you so this will be the last installment of Diaper Diaries. Before I close this series I want to take a moment to share some last thoughts.

First of all, as you can probably tell… I am a big fan of cloth diapers. Why? They are definitely more work than disposables, but in my opinion they are worth it. They are more expensive than disposables (at the time of initial purchase), but over time they will save you major bucks. They are a great, practical way to take care of our planet and they are soft on your baby’s bottom! How could you possibly not be a fan?

There are two notes I want to make that have come to my attention since I started this series:

1.) Since beginning my journey with CDs we have moved to a new apartment where a stackable washer and dryer was provided. This meant that we had to get rid of our standard sized set. I didn’t imagine how much of a difference a smaller and more inconvenient washer would make on my ability to wash diapers. It is still completely feasible, it simply takes more intentionality.

2.) Since writing the descriptions of each type of cloth diaper, I have tried the prefold option. If you will remember, this is the more old school form of cloth diapering. While it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I would have previously thought, there are definite draw backs. First of all poo diapers are much more of a mess when using this system. Second, they don’t absorb as much as my Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers. Third, you must be prepared to touch pee when changing these because they don’t have a waterproof layer sewn into the diaper itself. When using the pocket diapers your “pee contact” is very minimal because you are basically handling it in the same way as you would a disposable.

I am using the prefolds with covers for extra diapers and to be able to go longer between washing. I do try to make sure that Elliot has already pooped before putting these on him because I don’t care for the mess they make. While they are a little more messy and take a little more effort, I know a lot of people who primarily use these out of strict budgetary reasoning.

I have to say from my personal experience that I would still overwhelmingly recommend my Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers as the primary diapering system. They are just little gems that make cloth diapering a breeze.

Though this marks the end of the series don’t hesitate to shoot me an email or leave a comment if you have any questions regarding CDs. It is my pleasure to talk about them at any time!

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Diaper Diaries (Pt. 6)

Nov 13, 2009 by desiringvirtue

What About the Wash?

As we come to an end in our cloth diaper series I want to address the washing process. If I had to guess, I would wager that washing the cloth diapers is every new momma’s greatest fear. It just seems like it would be a disgusting and difficult process. Like most of the things we have discussed, it is not as difficult or as disgusting as you might imagine.

First of all, our washing machines today are a hundred times more efficient than the ones our grandmother’s used making the “washing” process so easy on us. Here is a short video that explains the process pretty well:

I don’t have the special “enzyme” spray that she talks about, but my diapers seem to come out just fine, especially if I soak the heavily stained ones for a little while in some Oxyclean. Also, she doesn’t really mention what to do with the poo before you throw them in the wash. If your baby is still breast feeding there is no need to do anything except throw them in the wash. If they are formula fed or are eating solids, it is best to get as much poo off of the diaper as you can before throwing it in the wash. To do this you simply plop as much of it into the toilet as possible or use a sprayer for a more in-depth cleaning. Then you just throw it in your diaper pale with the other diapers.

Charlie’s Soap is the detergent I see recommended most for cloth diapers-it is a natural detergent that won’t clog up the material on your CDs (making them less absorbent). It is definitely more expensive than regular detergent, but you use considerably less for each load. I use Soap Nuts, which are a type of fruit that naturally releases cleaning sap in warm water. They are also highly recommended for cloth diapers.

When washing CDs you simply put them in the washing machine on a cold rinse, without any detergent. After the rinse is complete you do a regular cycle on warm/hot with detergent. Some people like to do one last rinse cycle after the regular wash, but this is optional and really unnecessary if you have one of those space age, beautiful washing machines that I envy you for having… just kidding… I love my stackable washer and dryer unit that was built in the 80’s…

After they have been washed you can stick them in the dryer or hang dry them. It is recommended that you hang dry any of the waterproof parts (to make them last longer). This would include diaper covers and the shells of pocket diapers. These dry very quickly on their own anyway.

And there you have it: a break down of the dreaded cloth diaper washing. Not so bad eh? I don’t think so.

Click here to see my conclusions and last thoughts…

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Diaper Diaries (Pt.5)

Nov 2, 2009 by desiringvirtue

The Accessories

Ok, so we have taken a good look at the diapers themselves, but what about everything else? I mean where do you store these stinky cloth diapers, what do you do when you are out and about, do need to rinse them with something before you put them in the wash? Here is a quick run down of the many different accessories that make cloth diapering a breeze.

The Diaper Wipe

There is something strangely wonderful about wiping your baby’s bottom with a soft cloth wipe. Honestly I never thought it would practical, much less enjoyable to partake in the cloth wipe phenomenon, but I was wrong. Practically speaking, it is nice to be able to simply roll the wipe up with your diaper and put it all in one diaper pale rather than having to also use a trash can for the disposable wipe. Emotionally, you just feel good about your choice to use something soft and eco friendly!

Flushable Diaper Liners

If it’s the poo that is holding you back from CDs, then look no further for the solution. These handy liners go on the inside of the diaper against your baby’s bottom. When they make a poo you simply flop the whole liner (poo included) into the toilet and flush. This eliminates almost all of the mess for you! These are the most effective when your baby is done breast feeding (because their poo is more solid). They are not the most economical accessory, but they are not too expensive and some of them can be washed and reused if they don’t get soiled.

The Snappi

We’ve already discussed the Snappi so I won’t go into detail again, but here is a picture of one in action. Remember you would only need a device like this (a.k.a. pins) if you use the old school cloth diapers.

The Wet Bag

A wet bag is a bag that you keep in your regular diaper bag to hold all of your wet or soiled diapers when you are out and about. It is water proof and usually has a zipper on the top of it. You can buy them in different sizes and prints. This one is so cute!

Diaper Pail

You can use a regular diaper pale to store your soiled diapers in… or you can use this awesome Fuzzi Bunz “In and Out – No Mess Diaper Bag,” which is what we used when Elliot was little and before his diapers were too stinky! You can hang it on a hook or door handle. It has an elastic top where you put the dirty diapers in and a zipper bottom to empty the dirty diapers into the washer machine through. The zipper bottom is SO great because it means that you never have to touch or see the dirty diapers as they go into the wash, they just fall into the wash and then you drop the bag in with them. The bag is made out of a similar material as the Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers and can be washed in the same way. F.Y.I.: After thinking about it and using this system for a while I would recommend getting two of these because you always need the bag while it is in the wash.

The Diaper Sprayer

This is an item that we do not have. It seams that most people who use CDs have one of these to spray the soiled diapers off with before putting them into the diaper pale. It connects to the toilet where you can spray off any excess poo that won’t fall off on its own. I haven’t had to have this, but I think that it would be a handy option.

To go to the next installment in this series, What About the Wash?, click here!

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Diaper Diaries (Pt. 4)

Oct 12, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Real Life

So by now I am hoping that you are at least thinking about cloth diapers as a viable option for your baby. Sometimes however, it takes a little real life demonstration to truly communicate the simplicity of CDs. For that reason I want to take the time to show you how you change each of the diapers described earlier. I scoured the internet looking for the best and most helpful video footage of cloth diaper changes. Here is what I found:

The Prefold Diaper

You will notice that she uses a spray bottle with the wipes. I used this and it worked well, though it can be tricky when you have a squirmy baby trying to grab their poo while you spray down a wipe…! For this reason I began filling up a wipe dispenser (like the cheap plastic ones that come with disposable wipes) with water, a little soap, and wipes at the beginning each day. Doing it like this makes the wipes more accessible.

F.Y.I.: I am really wishing I hadn’t thrown away my wipe heater (I got sick of it when I was using disposables because it would just dry out the wipes). I think that one of those would work really well to keep the water warm for your little one’s bottom.

Notice that she just puts the soiled diaper in the diaper pail. That is because breast fed babies’ poo is totally dissolvable so you don’t need to rinse it or anything before putting it into the washing machine.

As you can see prefolds are especially great for newborns because you can adjust the size however you need to. A lot of times pocket and AIO diapers are a too big for little babies. Because of the relatively small cost, it would be smart to get a couple dozen of these for the first couple weeks of your baby’s life (if you are going to do pocket or AIO diapers).

The Fitted Diaper

Ok, I think this guy is hilarious! His acting skills are oscar worthy. I think that fitted diapers are a great system. I am going to get some myself.

The Pocket Diaper and All-in-One Diaper

The only difference between putting on a pocket diaper and putting on an AIO is the insert. Most people put the inserts in right after cleaning the diapers, so when changing time comes you have the same basic process going on as with the AIOs.

Once you decide you want to use cloth diapers, the next step is choosing which kind you want to use. That choice comes down to how much work you want to do and how much money you want to spend. As you can see the pocket and AIO diapers are the simplest to put on, but they are also the most expensive. I will tell you that after using pocket diapers for a few of months I am confident that prefolds or fitted diapers would not be the horrific experience I had assumed them to be. I have all Fuzzi Bunz pocket diapers at the moment, but I am going to add some prefolds and fitteds to the mix soon so that I can go longer between washes and save a little money.

To go to the next post in this series, The Accessories, click here!

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Diaper Diaries (Pt.3)

Oct 5, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Oh The Variety!

Whenever I change Elliot’s diaper in public I am sure to get a “What is that?” question from a curious onlooker. They just can’t believe that the simple contraption I am using is a cloth diaper! Now that I have shared with you some common misconceptions I had regarding cloth diapers I want to show you the CD options that you never knew you had!

Prefolds and Covers

Prefolds are what you normally think of when you think CDs. A lot of people use the cheep ones from Walmart or Babies R Us for spit rags or wash rags. They are fabric that has already been folded and sewn to stay in place. You then fasten them onto your baby with safety pins or the new “Snappi.”

These are “Snappis.” They are the new alternative to safety pins for CDs. I have heard them described as those ace bandage fasteners with the little prongs that just hook into the material. Well, each of the three ends has one of those little hooks making it much easier and faster to put on a prefold diaper. After fastening the diaper you put a waterproof cover over the top to prevent leaks.

They make these covers in many colors and patterns. You can see that this one has an elastic band around the leg holes and the back of the waste. Diaper covers can be reused throughout the day by letting one dry out while the other is being worn and then switching them at the next diaper change.

Prefolds are the most economical choice when thinking about cloth diapering. They are also said to be the easiest to clean. However, they can be more difficult and annoying to change 8-10 times a day! -Especially for Dad or grandparents.

Fitteds and Covers

These have the same principles at work as prefolds only they are a step up because the absorbent part is already shaped like a diaper and doesn’t need pins or Snappis to hold it together. You just put the “fitted diaper” on like you would a disposable and fasten it with the velcro or snaps that are on the diaper. Then, just like a prefold, you put a diaper cover over the top to prevent leeks.

These are a little bit more expensive than prefolds, but still one of the most cost effective ways to cloth diaper. They are easier than prefolds, but still not as easy as some of the other options I am going to show you.

Pocket Diapers

These are the kind of diapers we have. They require a little assembly on wash day, but after that, they are ready to go when you do a diaper change! Pocket diapers have a pocket in the back where you slide in an absorbent pad. The waterproof layer is sewn right into these babies so changing a diaper is one simple step. They come in all different colors and prints and you can choose between snaps or velcro. As you can see they have elastic sewn into the legs and waist to keep in messes. The inside layer (closest to the skin) is a really soft fabric that absorbs wetness and keeps your baby’s skin dry.

Pocket diapers are really easy for husbands and grandparents to change because they go on just like disposable diapers. They are more expensive than prefold and fitted diapers, but less expensive than the last option I will show you. The great thing about pocket diapers is that you can adjust the amount of absorbency you have and where you have it. Because Elliot is a boy and needs most of the leak protection in the front, I fold the pad and slide it all the way to the front of the diaper. During the night when you need extra absorbency you can double up. When you change your baby’s diaper you simply take out the pad and throw the whole thing into your diaper pale to be washed. When they are washed and dried you put the pads back inside the pockets and your diapers are ready for you to use. Also, because the pads come out, they wash and dry quicker.

All-in-Ones

All-in-One diapers, or AIOs, are exactly what they sound like. They are the most comparable to disposable diapers, except you wash them when they get soiled instead of throwing them away. Usually there is no assembly required (unlike the other options) and they just velcro or snap together. Everything else is very similar to the pocket diaper design. There is a waterproof outer layer and a soft inner layer that wicks away moister from your baby. The inside of the diaper has an absorbent pad sewn into it.

These are the ultimate in simplicity, but can be the hardest to clean because you can’t really get to the inside layers yourself. They also take a really long time to dry because they absorb so much water from the wash. They are the most expensive of the CD options, but will still save you a ton of money compared to DDs.

Prefolds, fitteds, pockets, and AIOs are the four categories that any cloth diaper sold today will fit into. Knowing their names and descriptions will help you navigate your way through the maze of CD websites. You may see slight variations or customizations out there, but you should be generally well equipped to know what they are talking about now. Next week we will take a look at the accessories that make cloth diapering a breeze!

Click here to go to the next post in this series!

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Diaper Diaries (Pt.2)

Sep 21, 2009 by desiringvirtue

First Impressions

Oddly enough, when people think of cloth diapers they don’t think happy thoughts. Many people have bad memories from past experiences and others have yucky misconceptions about them. I was influenced by both of these culprits. My mom had used cloth diapers briefly when I was born and didn’t like them, while I simply couldn’t imagine not being able to roll up a dirty diaper and throw it away. Richard was more open to the idea do to monetary savings, but I assured him that the savings would not be worth the cost! Thus began our disposable diaper usage.

I want to go ahead and get the misconceptions associated with cloth diapering out of the way before we even begin our discussion. I truly believe that only happy thoughts should come to mind when thinking about this wonderful diapering alternative!

Misconception:

They are too difficult!

The biggest reason I didn’t cloth diaper from the beginning was because I thought it would be way too stressful. I had limited experience with CDs (which basically means none); I knew that they weren’t exactly like the old safety pin diapers, but they still seamed way to complicated to change for my taste. Plus, I would have to wash diapers on top of my normal laundry load. This did not seem helpful in the least.

Truth:

They are easy!

Seriously, before you throw out the cloth diaper option I want you to know that difficulty should not be your reasoning (especially if you are a stay at home mother). The kinds of cloth diapers that are available now are amazing. Changing your baby’s diaper only includes one additional step when you are using a CD (plopping the poo in the toilet) before rolling it up and sticking it in a diaper bag like you do with a disposable. Washing them is as simple as putting them in the washing machine and letting it do the work for you. Doing one more load of laundry every two days really doesn’t disrupt your life that much!

Misconception:

I don’t have enough time!

I thought it would take too much time to change and clean cloth diapers.

Truth:

I do have enough time!

As I mentioned in the introduction to this series, I probably averages an extra 7 minutes a day on Elliot’s CDs. This is not an insane amount of time, but it pays insanely big dividends in the long run!

Misconception:

It is too yucky!

Dirty diapers are disgusting enough, so why would I want to mess with a diaper that I have to clean after every change? That just seemed like I an inconvenience of the past.

Truth:

It is yucky, but not as yucky as you might think!

When you become a mommy, bodily fluids become a primary part of your daily life. Soon the chunky spit up that once made you cringe and change your soiled blouse is worn as a badge of honor throughout the day because you know that more is soon to follow. The same is true with cloth diapers. You just get used to it. I was actually surprised by how little interaction I actually had with the poo in Elliot’s dirty diapers. I just plop as much of it as I can into the toilet and then any remaining residue is taken care of in the wash.

In many ways you cut down on ickiness with CDs because you don’t have dirty diapers sitting in a diaper pail for a week at a time. There were times when I would be changing our Diaper Genie and it would be FILLED with fruit flies because the poo had just been sitting in there for days! Yuck! Well, with cloth diapers that doesn’t happen because your diapers are getting washed regularly. Also, you cut down on the amount of blow outs you have with CDs. When Elliot was breast feeding his poo was very runny and would always shoot up the back of his diaper and onto this clothes. CDs have elastic around the waist as well as the legs so the poo is contained better!

Misconception:

They are too expensive

There is such a huge up front cost with cloth diapers that I thought I would rather just pay more over time.

Truth:

Really?!

Ok, this truly was one of my reasons for not doing cloth diapers, but it was one of the worst. Yes, there is a large up front cost when you buy CDs (the most expensive, easiest, top of the line brands can cost up to $350 for a set of 18 diapers!). I realize that is a ton of money to spend on diapers, but lets think about this for a second. Cloth diapers are a one time cost. A conservative estimate of the amount of money you will spend on DDs before your baby is potty trained is around $2,000! That isn’t even including wipes, diaper rash cream, and Diaper Genie refills. Without going into detail at this moment on the exact costs, it is obvious that CDs are the real deal! Let’s also remember that cloth diapers can be used on more than one child, so the savings are exponential! If you register for your diapers ahead of time and get them at your baby shower, you may have no upfront cost whatsoever!

Misconception:

My husband will never change a cloth diaper

I thought cloth diapers would be so difficult that even if I made the commitment to use them, my husband and other family members would find them too confusing and want to have nothing to do with them.

Truth:

He will when he knows how much money he is saving!

As I said before, the kinds of cloth diapers available now are almost as easy to change as disposables. Richard had absolutely no difficulty changing Elliot’s CD for the first time. The rest of my family was so intrigued by these “space age” diapers that they quickly learned how to change them themselves.

Now that we have broken through some of the common misconceptions that people have regarding cloth diapers I will introduce you to the incredible variety of CDs available today….

To go to the next installment in this series just click here!

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The Joys and Sorrows of Miscarriage

Sep 16, 2009 by desiringvirtue

You may not know that before being pregnant with Elliot, I miscarried our first baby. The miscarriage was THE most horrible and difficult trial of my life. Yet, through it all, in our greatest weakness the Lord gave Richard and I the joy and strength that we lacked. Our faith was never more real than in those most horrible moments. When you miscarry, the pain does not end after your baby leaves your body; it continues for days, months, and even years after. One of the greatest blessings a woman can be given during this time is the knowledge that someone else knows exactly how she feels. Knowing that another woman has known the pain, and felt the very real presence of the Lord during it, is an encouragement like none other. That is why I have asked a dear friend, Sarah, to share her testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness to her through her recent miscarriage and subsequent pregnancy. I am confident that her Biblical, God honoring testimony will be a blessing to every woman who reads it.

I am most thankful for the opportunity to share about one of the most difficult, yet most peaceful trials of my life. I do hope that this can be of an encouragement to someone else who is experiencing or has experienced the pain of miscarrying a pregnancy.

First I would like to share that I have a 5 year old little girl. I never had any complications with her at all during pregnancy, so when the Lord blessed us with a second pregnancy, I was not even thinking of the possibility that something could go wrong. I was about 5 weeks along when I started experiencing some symptoms that had my doctor concerned. Because I was so early, there was nothing that she could really tell me. We had to wait. It was about 3-4 weeks later when my doctor had determined that the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks.

This few weeks of waiting on the Lord was the most difficult yet most peaceful time of my life. My doctor was not very optimistic that the baby would make it, I had to battle thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t think about “what will I do if we lose the baby?” Or even making plans in my mind if everything was fine. I had to stay completely in the “middle” of these two thoughts and just trust the Lord. I had to be completely content with not knowing. I had to be content to wait. It was absolutely beautiful waiting in the arms of my creator, knowing that even though I didn’t know the outcome, and my doctor didn’t know the outcome, He knew. He created this precious little life inside of my womb, and it was His creation and He had it all under control. When my doctor told me that the baby was gone I had an incredible peace about it. God’s grace was with me and covered me in that moment.

The night after I had my DNC, I could not sleep. I was wide awake and all of these scriptures were pouring through my mind! Scriptures about who God is and His faithfulness. Scriptures like “Now see that I, even I, am He, and there is no God besides Me; I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; Nor is there any who can deliver from my hand.” (Deut. 32:39) This gave me great comfort to remember that God is always in control of every situation in our lives. Even the most painful things that we experience are all by the hand of our loving Father. “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes. The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of coins of gold and silver… Those who fear you will be glad when they see me, because I have hoped in Your word. I know, O Lord, that your judgments are right; and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.” (Ps 119:71-75) I knew that it was for my good and His faithfulness He had given me this trial. I had never been more close to the Lord than these past few weeks of waiting on Him. “Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful creator.” (1 Pet. 4:19) There was no doubt that this was the will of the Lord for my life and for the life of my little one that He had blessed me with. The Lord also gently reminded me of a scripture I had memorized as a teenager. At the time I really didn’t understand it, though now, it held so much meaning for me. “Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Ps 73:25-26)

The Lord was so faithful to keep me nestled close to Him during that time. I knew that His strength was with me and I had nothing to fear. I did go through a grieving process that I did not quite expect. Through it all, when I felt so broken hearted, He was there with encouragement in His word. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy. “ (Pro. 13:13) This verse helped me to understand to grieve is okay. There is a time to grieve, and there would again be a time of rejoicing. We decided to wait about 3 months to try again. When it came time, I was very afraid. I just kept praying and asking the Lord to help me to trust Him again, and to take the fear away and help me be excited about being pregnant again. In His faithfulness, He led me to Colossians 1. These particular verses were talking about the way that we are to walk with the Lord, being worthy of this and fully pleasing Him in everything. Then I read verses 11-12a “Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and long-suffering with joy, giving thanks to the Father…” He reminded me to be thankful to Him for this trial. To know that He was giving me strength to have joy while I am suffering according to His will! I continued reading in verse 16 “For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.” God had created this precious little person, this precious gift. Though it was a blessing for me, He created it for Himself. For His own glory through Christ! What a precious thought to think that the Lord would create something invisible to the world around me and that He did it for Himself. This gave me great thankfulness and peace! I could not WAIT to be pregnant again! It encouraged my heart so much that no matter how long a pregnancy lasts, whether a few weeks, a few months, or if I carry to full term, it is a blessing! It is for His glory! What an amazing creator we have!

So today, I am humbly grateful to share that I am 8 weeks pregnant. There are moments when those fearful thoughts pop into my head. In those moments, all I can do is pray. I ask the Lord to help me not to dwell on the lies. I ask the Lord to give me strength and excitement and to trust Him with this baby. I remind myself of all that I have learned and what a true gift it was for me to lose the last baby. If it were not for that incredibly painful trial, I would not have the strengthened faith that I do today. I love Jesus more today because of what I went through. I just think “Whom have I in Heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You.”

Thank you for sharing your testimony with us Sarah. It is obvious that the Spirit of God was so active in your life, using the Scriptures to communicate Christ’s love and power.

My prayer is that Sarah’s story will strengthen you through any trial you experience and the scriptures she referenced will be a valuable tool for you when desiring to minister to other sisters in Christ facing difficult times.

Update: A couple weeks after writing this testimony, the Lord allowed Sarah to miscarry your second baby. Her thoughts and pain regarding her recent trial have been heavily influenced by her past experience and confidence in the Lord’s goodness. Her faith in the Lord’s love for her has grown tremendously through these trials. Please pray for the Lord’s blessing on her womb and that she would soon enjoy the blessing of a healthy baby.

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Diaper Diaries

Sep 14, 2009 by desiringvirtue

A New Series

As many of you know, we made the switch to cloth diapers about 3 months ago. You can probably tell from previous posts that I have been extremely happy about our decision. I will admit that I was skeptical when first considering the whole cloth diaper phenomenon. After all, how many times had I heard someone say, “Oh yeah, I tried cloth diapers…. that didn’t last very long!” After experiencing them for myself I have become a believer and will be a life-long advocate for these little wonders.

When Elliot was born I simply chose to use disposable diapers because it was easier. I decided that I didn’t need the added stress and messiness of the old school cloth diaper. We figured that the ridiculously high cost of disposables was just the cross we would bear for wanting children. We were o.k. with that.

Then I started learning more about the cloth diapers available today. Yes, the simple diaper that looks like a big wash rag and is fastened together with pins is still an option, but there are many different kinds of cloth diapers now that are more convenient and still cost efficient. It has been my experience that most moms simply don’t know the kinds of options they have when it comes to diapering their baby’s bums. They also don’t know how great the monetary savings can be if you use cloth diapers.

The diapers that we use are simple to put on and clean. The extra time that I spend on diapers now compared to when I was using disposables is probably a whopping 7 minutes a day! I figure that I can spare that small amount of time every day if it means saving my family thousands of dollars, reducing diaper rash, and helping keep our planet clean.

Well, if you have ever wondered about cloth diapers or the crazy moms who use them then this series is for you! I will tell you about my personal experiences and the plain and simple FAQs about cloth diapers to help you make an informed decision. Join be back here every Mommy Monday for Diaper Diaries. -You’ve never had so much fun talking about poo!

To go to the next entry in this series, click here!

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The Lord Gives and He Takes Away

Mar 24, 2008 by desiringvirtue

Dear Family and Friends,

As many of you know, on February 25th we miscarried our first baby. I wanted to take a moment to share with you a little bit about our baby and what the Lord has done through him. On January 28th I shared with Richard one of the happiest moments of our lives; it was the day that I told him we were pregnant. You could not have found two people who were more thrilled or thankful. We quickly began to picture our future bundle of joy and all of the many blessing that would result from him. The news spread like wildfire and everyone was able to celebrate with us. Four weeks later, I began to miscarry. An ultrasound showed that the baby was about two weeks behind in development. Though it was approximately eight weeks old, it was only measuring six. And then on the 25th Richard and I shared one of the saddest moments of our lives together.

It is an incredible thing to gain and lose something so precious to you so quickly. I know the pain and sadness of that day will forever be etched in my memory. But as terrible as this experience was and still is for us, the weight and beauty of God’s perfect love gives us great confidence and contentment. We know that this tragedy is not outside of God’s control. It was part of his perfect and loving plan for us. He measured out the days of this baby, just as he has our own. Therefore we rejoice in the amazing gift that this child was to us. Through him we were able to experience many joys: a pregnancy test being positive, the amazement of a human life growing within me, and the joy of knowing that Richard and I created something by the Lord’s grace. His death has helped us to understand so many truths about the Lord more deeply. It is a vivid reminder that all of our days are numbered. We cannot control our lives or our family’s lives any more than a flower can choose where it is planted, when the rain will come and harm it, when the sun will shine upon it, or in what fashion it will die. We must therefore live humbly before the Lord knowing that it is He who is in control of all things and trust in His wisdom. Though we have cried many tears and felt immense sorrow, we are utterly in love with our Lord, Jesus Christ. Through this experience we have found new meaning in the numerous descriptions of Him found in the Bible. He truly has been our rock from which we draw strength. He has been our river of living water from which we have received nourishment for our parched souls. He has been the refuge that we found peace and joy in though all around our world was crumbling. More than anything, he has been a father to us. A father who deeply loves, cares for, and understands us. Though all around us waves of sadness, grief, and fear grew great, our Savior stood to calm them.

Immediately after I miscarried I began to think about the parallel between our loss and the Father’s loss when He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. Perhaps now we have a minute understanding of what the words, “he gave his only son” truly mean. God willingly sent His son to die for sinners. We experienced the death of our child, but Christ’s death was infinitely more appalling. Unlike our child, Christ was the perfect God of the universe who suffered a cruel and unjust execution. We loved our baby so much, but our love could never compare to God’s love for His son. His love is without the blemish of sin; it is perfect. And yet the Bible tells us “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son.” Praise the Lord for His sacrifice for sinners! If it was not for his willingness to sacrifice His son, we would be lost and without hope for redemption. Our sins would forever be held against us and would condemn us for eternity. It is because of the truth of God’s love for sinners like us, that Richard and I have been able to accept and find joy in this tragedy. Without it, there is no joy and there is no peace. We pray that if this letter finds you without an understanding of this truth you would search it out diligently. Read the gospel of John and pray that the Lord would open your eyes and lead you to repentance.

We would like to thank all of you who have so diligently prayed for us. Know that the Lord heard you and His Spirit ministered greatly to us (and still is) as a result of your prayers. The Lord has provided in so many ways, both physically and emotionally. My mother was able to be with us through the whole miscarriage which was a tremendous comfort and service. Many of you have not only prayed for us, but graciously sent cards, letters, flowers, gift cards, even money to help us get through this unexpected time. We are not worthy of such grace and thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. We love you and hope that this little glimpse into our hearts will encourage you as you seek to know the risen Lord.

Love always,

Richard and Jessalyn Hutto

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From Stepping Heavenward:

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1. Disposables are easier…?

2. The cost of disposables is outrageous!

3. I just plain miss those sweet, adorable, soft diapers.

4. Diaper rash is no fun.

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Don’t have a Baby Bath Tub? No problem!

Just use a sink.

Or a sand castle bucket.

Or a mixing bowl.

Or a stew pot.

…I did.

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Simple. Fun. Money Saving.

But How?

Money Saving Tips:

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Joy.

Pain.

Sacrifice.

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