Stepping Out in Faith

Mar 7, 2012 by

Today Amy shares some of her thoughts and emotions as she takes the final steps to becoming a full-time homemaker. Be encouraged by her desire to follow the Spirit’s prompting in her life and pray that the Lord would grant her wisdom and courage to walk in his will.

A day I’ve had marked on my calendar is finally here. I’m about to finish my last day at my old job.

I don’t do this without mixed feelings. I have some good memories of that place and of my co-workers, and I learned a lot. However, it was also something that took more from my life and my marriage than I could justify giving because instead of helping me to serve Christ and others, it started to keep me from living as God called me to live. Even so, I’ll miss some of the community that I had there for a season. And, while my husband and I did lots of planning, I have to admit that there’s something about not having a regular paying job, benefits, and a title that just feels unsettling in this modern world.

And so this stepping out in faith and the thought of being outside the boundaries of what is normal for most people my age makes me worry sometimes. In this economy, it’s hard to not think about what will happen without that extra paycheck. Or, can I handle being “just an at-home wife”? Will I be strong in my resolve to follow God’s leading and not feel the need to be defensive and point out, “Oh, but I do paid work from home, too…” even though I know deep down that work is not where our identity lies. And that’s when I pray and remember the words of Christ in Matthew 6, particularly 6:34, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Even more than trepidation, though, I feel excited by possibility. The possibility to serve God and my family without having to fit that in around how my boss expects me to serve his interests makes me happy. The ability to use my home to try to reach the groups of people that God might place upon my heart. I’ve done so much praying and seeking of guidance for what full-time service to God and my family from home should look like, and I’ve been putting plans into place. And now that moment to seek God’s will and just step into it has arrived. It’s been an adventure all along, but now it feels like a big chapter is just opening.

And I can’t wait to see what God is going to use me for or write on these pages of my life. Say a little prayer for me, will you? And if you have something on your heart you need prayer for, I’ll pray for you, too.

To read more from Amy’s journey to becoming a full-time homemaker click here.

 

After several years of trying to balance the management of her home with being a professional woman, Amy is in the process of transitioning home to serve primarily as a homemaker. She now lives with her husband in the Washington DC area where she is enjoying the challenges of figuring out how to make a house a home. Hint: It’s requiring a much broader skill set than she or many other people would have ever dreamed! In her spare time, she enjoys travel, reading, and serving in her church. You can follow her adventures at MakingAJoyfulHome.blogspot.com.

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If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebookfollowing DV on Twitteror subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

 

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Counting Costs

Feb 9, 2012 by

Counting Costs

 

Today DV contributor Amy, encourages us to view the role of a homemaker in eternal rather than monetary terms. In her periodical Lessons in Homemaking Amy has been sharing her thoughts and encouragement as she herself transitions into a full time homemaker.

There are those who refer to us homemakers as “parasites.”  Or who try to guilt us out of our homes by pointing out how poor we must be making our families by stubbornly refusing to get out there and earn a paycheck.  I’ve seen homemakers firing back with data showing how much a homemaker is worth, how much a family saves by the wife staying home to care for the children and other services rather than having to pay for daycare or household help.  While there’s some validity to these points, I find in my own experience that focusing on the economic issue alone rather misses the point.

Money is not the reason I’m called to keep the home, and I suspect it’s not the primary force that brought anyone into this lifestyle. I know there are some who cannot be full-time homemakers because their family’s circumstances will not allow it (saving up to stay home in the future, disabled spouse, etc..), but as one for whom it is a possibility, I think it’s truly my calling.

When we are instructed to be “working at home, kind, and submissive to our own husbands” in Titus 2, Paul does not tell us that we do this to save money.  This is how we serve God and uphold His word, and the benefits we and our families reap from our homemaking go so far beyond the financial. As a practical matter, instead of each person in the family exerting the bulk of their energies toward meeting someone else’s goals, a home with a homemaker at its center tends to become more of a team. I’m not spending most of my days concerned with helping Law Firm X, but instead with bettering our household.  Likewise, instead of us both coming home and crashing on the couch, I’m starting to notice that things have been changing in my marriage as well.  My husband seems less focused on work as purely “the career,” but also as his calling that allows him to care for our household.  There’s a lot more “we” in this way of ordering things.

More importantly, the benefits of being a homemaker are eternal.  In discussing how we are to live as God’s people, we all know that in the Old Testament, the Proverbs 31 lady is highly praised.  And no wonder – if you read that chapter, she sounds like the CEO of homemaking!  More importantly, if you read that chapter, you see that her work is not just limited to her own pleasure and that of her husband.  Instead her service, in reverence for the Lord, causes her children also to “rise up and call her blessed” (v.28) and as we see in v. 23, her husband is given a place of respect in the community.  Those of you with children are probably also mindful of God’s command in Deuteronomy 6:7 that, “(y)ou shall teach them [God's words] diligently to your children…”  We are charged not with making a happy little cottage that looks like it belongs in a magazine and makes us proud. Our work has a more eternal nature.  Homemaking is a ministry, and we by our actions create a center from which our households can serve God, learn His ways and reach out into the world.  And that legacy of faith from generation to generation has a worth that we might miss if we look at the world only in terms of paychecks.

After several years of trying to balance the management of her home with being a professional woman, Amy is in the process of transitioning home to serve primarily as a homemaker. She now lives with her husband in the Washington DC area where she is enjoying the challenges of figuring out how to make a house a home. Hint: It’s requiring a much broader skill set than she or many other people would have ever dreamed! In her spare time, she enjoys travel, reading, and serving in her church. You can follow her adventures at MakingAJoyfulHome.blogspot.com.

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If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebookfollowing DV on Twitteror subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

 

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Pacing Yourself During the Holidays

Dec 21, 2011 by

Today DV Contributor Amy is sharing some helpful tips for what can sometimes be a stressful season. If you are in the middle of feeling overwhelmed, let this post encourage you to step back and focus on what you are celebrating rather than all the stuff you need to do.

Life is messy. Our days are filled with all kinds of good and not-so-good things to attend to, and it doesn’t all fit into neat, organized little squares (or at least MY life sure doesn’t!). Sometimes things work out, but it will never be perfect so long as we live in this fallen world.

And sometimes, in this less than perfect world, I find myself feeling very burned out. I suspect that you do, too. This time of year can be a major burnout season if we’re not careful. There’s always one more social event, one more gift to buy, one more moment I want to snatch to meditate on what this beautiful Christmas time of year really means – and that’s in addition to all the usual bits and pieces that make up this beautiful mess we call life.

Between moving, trying to find a church and make friends, my husband getting a big promotion, my grandmother going home to God, caring for elderly relatives and all the rest of it, I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed this year. The holidays always excite me, but also add to that feeling of being utterly spent sometimes. And so I started praying about it and thinking about it, and what I’ve been learning has been helping me not just get through this season, but truly enjoy it.

So, what have I learned?

1. Get some sleep

Easier said than done, I know, especially for those of you with very small children. However, life is so much less overwhelming when I’ve had at least a passing acquaintance with my own snug, warm bed. If I can’t get enough sleep at night, I try to fit in little naps during the day.

2. Don’t over schedule yourself

I once knew someone who planned to be at 3 different family gatherings in 3 different cities all on Christmas Day. This may work for some, but I’m not sure that everyone would want that road trip! Look over the social events on the near horizon and think about what makes you and your family happiest. Are you extroverts who get more energized every time you see friends and family? Are you more introverted, and need to have some down time built in between all the open houses, office parties and the like? Try to decide in advance what kind of schedule will work for you, so that you can head off that “Oh my goodness, I’m WAAAAY overcommitted!” feeling of stress. This one is a particular challenge for me.

3. Prioritize the volunteering

I can be one of those people who feels dutybound to volunteer for everything. However, I’ve learned over time that it’s best to prioritize. It may be really important to volunteer to bring a cake to the Senior Center Christmas party for my great-aunts and to pick up items for the homeless shelter, but I don’t need to put my name on every church and charity list that comes my direction. Learning that sometimes we have to forego a good thing in order to concentrate on the best things has been a hard lesson, but it’s one I’ve been learning very much this year, and it is so worth it.

4. Figure out what recharges your batteries

What revives you? For me, picking out songs for my Songs of Advent series, puttering on the blog, and reading have all been good downtime for me. I find that if I schedule time for these things, I have so much more energy to then pour back into serving others. I used to fear that carving out time for myself was selfish, but I find that if I don’t have it, then I get worn down and my service to others starts becoming much less than I think it is called to be.

5. Take care of your health

As tempting as the notion sounds, we can’t live on Christmas cookies alone. Be sure to fit in some healthy meals full of fruits and veggies, and drink plenty of water. Getting exercise a few times a week helps a lot as well. You’ve heard the saying, “You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself?” Well, it’s true, very true indeed.

6. Take time to really think about the season

The more I read God’s Word and read good Advent books, the more I find myself pondering the amazing miracle of Christmas. The details of wondering which cat knocked over the tree or when I’m going to get cards and gifts wrapped fall away in the face of this baby Jesus brought into the world to die for our salvation.

And most important of all…

PRAY

Keeping all those stresses of life heaped upon our own shoulders is futile. We will not fix the world, or even our own lives, by our power alone. God has told us in His Word to bring our burdens to Him, and when we do, He does give us rest. It’s right there in Matthew 11. When I spend time with God pouring out my heart to Him, my troubles don’t just magically disappear, but in various ways, they always become bearable rather than hopeless. He is my rock, my refuge, my source of strength and my all. And this time of year is such a beautiful reminder of just what a miracle God is. I hope that you have a blessed and merry Christmas!

After several years of trying to balance the management of her home with being a professional woman, Amy is in the process of transitioning home to serve primarily as a homemaker. She now lives with her husband in the Washington DC area where she is enjoying the challenges of figuring out how to make a house a home. Hint: It’s requiring a much broader skill set than she or many other people would have ever dreamed! In her spare time, she enjoys travel, reading, and serving in her church. You can follow her adventures at MakingAJoyfulHome.blogspot.com.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebookfollowing DV on Twitteror subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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What Next? The Practical Side to Transitioning Home

Jul 12, 2011 by

What Next? The Practical Side to Transitioning Home

Last time I was here, I talked about how I began my journey to homemaking. Once I came to the decision to be a homemaker full time, what was I to do? Obviously, I couldn’t just jump up from my desk chair shouting, “God is sending me home now! Nice knowing y’all!” I have the sort of job where others depend upon me, so just deciding to go home one night and never coming back would hurt others in my office as well as hurt clients.

What I needed next was a plan. Today I am going to share that plan with you in the hope that it might aid someone else wondering “What’s next?” in their journey home.

1.) Pray – I cannot say this enough. Making the change from office to home has been (and continues to be) a huge transition and bringing it to the Lord daily has made all the difference for us. There are so many things to pray over- focusing my heart on the home, strength to accept God’s leading in the financial changes that come with a transition home, prayers for discernment in knowing how God would have me use my talents at home, and so on.

2.) Consult Your Husband at All Times – Obviously, it should go without saying that I wouldn’t just drop everything and decide to come home on my own without my husband’s involvement, consent and support. This is a decision to be made with one’s husband as well as one to bring to God in prayer.

3.) Consider What a Change of Income Will Look Like – Before I even started transitioning home, my husband and I had to prayerfully consider the finances of such a move. If only one of us is working, that is a significant loss of household income. I have skills that may very well be of use to generate income while working in the home, but that still takes time to establish and cannot be guaranteed. On the plus side, if I am working in the home, I do not need lots of suits, dress shoes and all the other accoutrements of a professional worker. I also would no longer be spending quite so much on gas as I would not need to drive all over town for work anymore.

Even before transitioning home, it is important to sit down with your spouse, go over the bills and bank accounts, and set up a realistic financial plan. Going through books such as 1/2 Price Living by Ellie Kay or The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn and talking to a trusted financial planner helped us to come up with ways to cut costs and put a budget in place even before I started cutting my work hours. While this has meant lifestyle changes, I have to admit that I feel more at peace simplifying my life than I did when I worked full-time and felt like my husband and I were pulling in different directions.

4.) Break the News at Work – This was a huge practical hurdle to transitioning home that caused me lots of stress in the beginning. How was I going to tell my boss what I planned to do? There’s really no one-size-fits-all solution on how to do this. I would simply advise setting up a private meeting with your supervisor(s) and explaining the news clearly and honestly, being sure to let them know that you do not plan to leave the office in the lurch and offering to put together a plan for your exit. Be prepared to hear from your boss that the office may simply want to have you leave in 2-4 weeks and that’s it, so keep that in mind when timing your meeting with the boss.

Other workplaces will be more willing to work with you on a gradual transition; This is particularly true in professions where you may have specialized skills and be needed to train a new employee. In my case, I have some ongoing projects that are in the process of being finished as I transition out. My boss and I have set up a plan to gradually let me go from 4 days a week, to 3, to 2 and then 1. I’ve been on this track for 7 months and should be fully home sometime in 2012.

5.) Utilize Your Support Network – This is another practical consideration. Going it alone, particularly in this type of transition, would be very daunting. I highly recommend being open about your plan to family and close friends as they can be a great source of emotional support. The older women in your life can often be a helpful source of homemaking advice as well!

6.) Schedule Your Time! – Just as you need a financial plan to transition home smoothly, you’ll need an action plan for your homemaking as well. Prayerfully consider how God will have you serve from home. It can be very easy to find yourself overscheduled in church groups and volunteer work if you are not mindful of how you will spend your time. If you have children, obviously their needs will dictate much of how your time will be spent. However, even if you do not have children, I can tell you from esperience that it is extremely easy to underestimate how much time it will take you to care for the home and minister to your spouse. Again, setting up the schedule before the actual move home makes the whole process go much more smoothly and it also helps you set goals for the work of ministering in the home.

If you’re contemplating a move from office to home, I hope you find this helpful. I would be thrilled to hear from you; if you have any other questions about the practical side of this transition, please let me know in the comments and I’ll answer as best I can.

After several years of trying to balance the management of her home with being a professional woman, Amy is in the process of transitioning home to serve primarily as a homemaker. She now lives with her husband in the Washington DC area where she is enjoying the challenges of figuring out how to make a house a home. Hint: It’s requiring a much broader skill set than she or many other people would have ever dreamed! In her spare time, she enjoys travel, reading, and serving in her church. You can follow her adventures at MakingAJoyfulHome.blogspot.com.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebookfollowing DV on Twitteror subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

 

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On Becomming a Full Time Homemaker

Jun 14, 2011 by

On Becomming a Full Time Homemaker

 

Today I am very excited to introduce you to one of the newest contributors to Desiring Virtue. Amy is a curagious woman of God who is living in a very countercultural way. Upon first visiting her blog, Making a Joyful Home, I was struck by her pure desire to follow the Holy Spirit’s conviction in her life, despite how odd, unconventional, difficult, or unpopular his leading was. Her new periodical at Desiring Virtue, Lessons in Homemaking, will focus on her journey from a full time professional to a full time homemaker and the lessons she learns along the way. Please welcome her to the blog and enjoy her encouraging story!

“But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:1-5 ESV)

I’ve been taught to tell stories from the beginning, and this one has quite a start to it.  It’s not every day that one encounters a woman who stays home full time without having young children, and the question I hear most often is, “Why in the world do you do this?”

“This” is something I have only transitioned into doing for the past seven months, and by 2012, I should be able to stay home full-time.  The Lord has graciously provided the opportunity for me to pursue my heart’s desire as a worker at home and I couldn’t be happier! This journey has been quite a challenge so far and I’m certain more adventures await as I seek to obey the Lord’s calling on my life.

Having been raised in a Christian home, reading the Bible at home as well as in church, I had certainly come across this passage from Titus many times.  I’ve heard it preached from the pulpit and discussed in Bible studies.   However, as a young woman I was urged by my parents and later by my husband to work outside the home until children came along. It never occurred to me that working outside the home could be a detriment to my family rather than a blessing.  Certainly I felt the conflict of work obligations and home obligations, but it was not until I had spent a few years working away from home that we really noticed how the lifestyle had started to affect our family.

Having both of us work meant both my husband and I came home tired, and neither inclined to invest much in the work of keeping the home.  I’ve always loved to cook, so I kept us fed, but lacked the time to cook the healthy and fresh meals I would desire to make.  In addition, it would be fair to say that housekeeping standards slid embarrassingly low at times and I especially had a hard time focusing my heart on the home.  I found it very difficult to make a house a home when the majority of my day was spent focusing on someone else’s business!  As I am sure many of you are thinking, this is not an uncommon situation, so I just figured this was what modern life was like and that I would need to learn to live with it.

Then one day, I spent some time talking to a childhood friend of mine.  She’s a military wife, and one of those amazing people who seems able to immediately find a church home and plant herself happily at every new duty station they encounter.  When we spoke this time, she bubbled over with excitement as she told me of a Titus 2 class that she had been invited to teach along with another mother in her church.  As she spoke about the studies and activities planned for the young girls of the church, I started to see a window into another way of life – and I liked what I saw.

After we finished speaking, I pulled out my Bible and started to read Titus 2.  As I hit verse 5 and got to those words, “…that the Word of God may not be reviled,” a chill ran down my spine.  I knew deep in my heart that the Lord was beginning to realign my priorities with His. In this passage, wives were clearly encouraged to value and invest in their homes in a way that I never had before. I also knew that while my working outside the home allowed us some “extras”, it was not a true necessity for our family.  Would we be challenged without it?  Oh yes, but not utterly undone.  In addition, the expenses of my job in terms of professional wardrobe, commuting and the like were a drain on our resources and that had to be taken into account as well.  Thinking and praying over this, it became obvious that our particular situation did not require me to work full-time outside the home and my doing so was making it more difficult to turn our home into the haven I wanted it to be.

I felt convicted on this subject, but didn’t know what to do.  I prayed to God for His forgiveness and for Him to show me the way to live according to His will in this area of my life.  Though I desired to, I knew I couldn’t just quit my job cold turkey.  I had the sort of job upon which other people depended and if I suddenly left with no notice, I’d throw them into the lurch.  I also had another problem: Even though I wanted to spend more time keeping the home, I had trouble picturing what that would look like.  Since we do not have children, my first thoughts were of cooking, cleaning and helping my husband.  Having more time to cook would be nice, and cleaning and helping my husband both were certainly necessary, but I hardly saw how those could fill complete days!

After studying and praying through Titus 2, Proverbs 31, and other related passages, my husband and I began working out my transition home as well as how I would order my life as a worker at home.  The wealth of books and articles by Christian authors on this subject have also proven deeply helpful as well, so long as I read prayerfully and am mindful of checking them against Scripture.

As you can imagine, moving from a full-time job to keeping the home has been quite a transition.  I’ll be writing entire posts on all the many lessons I’ve learned about homekeeping as well as the lessons in humility, perseverance and ingenuity that this journey has required.  I’m still very much a work in progress and I value hope and encouragement on the journey as much as I do wish I can extend the same to you.  I’ll be posting more detailed stories in the future and would love to answer your questions in the comments as I go along. Thank you!

After several years of trying to balance the management of her home with being a professional woman, Amy is in the process of transitioning home to serve primarily as a homemaker. She now lives with her husband in the Washington DC area where she is enjoying the challenges of figuring out how to make a house a home. Hint: It’s requiring a much broader skill set than she or many other people would have ever dreamed! In her spare time, she enjoys travel, reading, and serving in her church. You can follow her adventures at MakingAJoyfulHome.blogspot.com.

Don’t forget to enter the Seasons of Life Giveaway. Prize options include books from Elisabeth Elliot, Paul David Tripp, and Elyse Fitzpatrick! Click here to visit the giveaway page…

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebookfollowing DV on Twitteror subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

 

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