Modesty Q&A with Tim Challies

Q&A with TimLast month [intlink id="10564" type="page"]The Book Club at Desiring Virtue[/intlink] read Modest: Men and Women Clothed in the Gospel by Tim Challies and R.W. Glenn. Toward the end of the month I asked you, the readers of Desiring Virtue, to share your questions on modesty (either from the book or on the topic of modesty in general). I sent five of these questions off to Tim who was kind enough to reply to each of them.

I would like to thank everyone who submitted questions (you made it really hard to choose just five!) and also of course thank Tim for taking the time out of his busy schedule to address Desiring Virtue’s readers. So, without further ado, here are your questions and Tim Challies’ answers…

Q: I really liked how, in the book Modest, you discussed modesty as a heart issue, rather than simply giving a list of dos and don’ts. I could tell from the tone of the book that you were trying very hard to avoid making legalistic statements, but I was left wondering–how would you describe a modest heart? -Amy

A: Thanks for the kind words, Amy. It has been interesting to me that one of the most common critiques of the book is that we did not provide that tear-out list of do’s and don’ts that could be taped to the mirror or stuck to the fridge. Somewhere in all of us is the lazy legalist that really just wants to cut to the chase and deal with rules.

The heart of modesty is being known for those characteristics that are distinctly related to Christian character and, in that way, modesty allows us all to draw other people’s hearts and minds to the Lord. Therefore the modest heart is the heart that longs for this very thing. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with being known or noticed, provided that the things you are known and noticed for are things that are God-exalting. A modest heart will long to be known for these traits and, in that way, it will bring glory to God.

Q: As I was thinking about modesty in areas other than the way we dress, I began thinking about how modesty fleshes itself out in the local church. So, my question is: How can women show modesty in the way they serve? For instance how do we modestly lead a Bible study, sing a song in service, or organize a baby shower, etc? -Katie D.

A: Perhaps it is easiest to turn the question around and to ask whether there are ways that immodesty can be displayed in service, whether through leading a Bible study, through participating in leading worship or through organizing a baby shower. I think it is clear that this is possible.

The immodest Bible study leader may want to reveal the depth of her knowledge and make that a priority in place of being loving toward those who know less. The immodest worship leader may want to be seen for what she is wearing (or not wearing!) or for the freedom she feels in worship, even in a church where most people are reserved. The immodest baby shower planner may want to invite people to her home so they can see her wealth or see her tasteful decorating. In each of these three cases, modesty would have served others by directing attention away from self and toward the Lord. If the heart is the heart of the issue (and isn’t it always?), then immodesty can rear its ugly head in any situation.

Q: In the book Modest, you make the point that context greatly influences the amount of clothing a modest woman wears (i.e. a swimsuit may be modest at the beach, but wouldn’t be modest at a church service) and also differentiated between the virtues of modesty and chastity. This seems like a difficult line to draw at times. For instance: At one point you said that a g-string bathing suit would definitely be crossing the line (in terms of chastity) because it causes most men to be sexually aroused, but couldn’t this be true of a one-piece swimsuit as well? Is there any way we can make decisions about swimwear without being arbitrary, since some men might be aroused by even a comparatively modest one-piece?” -Emily

A: It is when we come to measuring by inches that we encounter the most difficulty and that we tend to construct a list of rules to guard us. “You can wear a one-piece but not a two-piece. The bottom of the skirt needs to come to at least this point.” We can all agree that wearing a burlap sack at the beach would head off all cries of immodest dress. We can all agree that wearing nothing at all would create unanimous cries of immodest dress. So we are left somewhere between the two, wondering just how much burlap we can remove before we have crossed the line. Undeniably, that line will vary significantly from culture-to-culture. In one culture exposing an ankle is shocking and immodest and in others it would not even register. I remember as a teen reading a lascivious description of a man studying a woman’s ankles and finding there an opportunity to lust. But surely we cannot cede to every person’s lust.

The fact is, the Bible simply does not give us the rigid guidelines to the way we dress in every situation. God, in his wisdom, has allowed us to decide these things on our own. When it comes to decisions related to dress, we need to keep an eye on cultural norms and we also need to keep an eye on conscience. As we dress, we know there are certain broad guidelines that represent what is definitely forbidden. But within those guidelines God gives us freedom. However, this is not freedom to flaunt our liberty before others, but freedom to serve one another.

Q: What is our responsibility when fellowshipping with other believers who love the Lord, and have not divorced the modesty issue from the Gospel, but may have appropriated a standard for themselves, their immediate family, community that is strict and potentially legalistic-appearing? -Ruth

A: Romans 14 is a powerful passage that addresses Christian freedom. It warns us that when it comes to disputable issues like modest dress, there will always be two camps and that each of them will face specific temptations. Paul distinguishes between two types of Christians, the strong and the weak. In this passage he tells them how they are to not only tolerate one another but how they are to love and accept one another. Weak and strong do not indicate good Christians and bad Christians, but Christians who have not yet worked out all of the implications of the gospel and those who have worked out the implications to a greater extent.

Paul warns that the temptation of the strong will be to despise the weak Christian while the particular temptation of the weak will be to condemn the strong. The strong is prone to see the weak as being ensnared by legalism or immaturity and may grow impatient with him. This will lead to outright hatred and even mockery as he despises his brother and looks down on him. The weak will see the strong as going far beyond what the Lord allows and will condemn him for lawless behavior. He will be prone to wonder, “Can he even be a Christian when he behaves like that?” In the end, each will run away from the other, destroying the unity that ought to exist between Christians, and especially Christians in the same local church.

If you find yourself in the stronger camp here, feeling greater freedom, you will need to guard yourself against despising and mocking your weaker brother and sister. The Lord would call you to love those people all the more, despite what appears to be (and what actually may be) legalism. Every man (and woman) must stand before the Lord.

Q: My husband and I don’t have children yet, but, I have often wondered how I would protect my children in such a highly sexualized culture. What advice would the you give in regards to raising young boys and girls in this culture? How do you train young children to think about these things early in life and explain modesty to them in a way that makes sense to them? For instance, how do you protect and train a little boy who is not necessarily tempted to sin by seeing a scantily clad cheerleader on television or a Victoria’s Secret window display in the mall? -Katie G.

A: There was a time when there was a scarcity of erotic and near-naked images. Those who wanted to see such things had to invest a lot of effort in finding them. Today we have to put far more effort into avoiding them. There is no doubt that this is a time of excessive immodesty.

At this point my oldest child is thirteen and my oldest daughter is just ten, so I cannot speak to your question with a lot of authority. However, Aileen and I have asked godly older couples to guide us here and there are a few things we have learned.

We want our girls to be aware of the danger of immodesty but not in such a way that they regard their bodies as the problem. We want them to be confident in who they are (which is to say, in who the Lord has made them to be) and not to somehow believe that their bodies are a curse or a shame. We want them to be modest in their dress and yet, when they are married some day, to feel free freedom before their husbands. So as we discuss issues related to modesty, we want to be sure to express that their bodies are not the issue, but rather, their hearts and the hearts of other people. We want them to know that modesty is, essentially (to borrow C.J. Mahaney’s phrase) humility expressed in dress. Already my ten-year-old is aware of the power of what she wears and already we see her trying to dress in clothes that are cute but also modest. Of course the teenage years and all of their pressures still await us.

As for my son, I have been speaking to him for several years now about the reality that he will see many images in his life that he really has no right to see. I regard even pornography as a matter of “when” more than “if” (though certainly I pray that he will never encounter it). My desire for him is to help him treasure character instead of being distracted by what is outside. But again, he is only just thirteen years old and the most difficult years are still ahead.

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Modesty in Social Media

Today, Melissa Jackson delves deeper into our discussion of modesty by looking at its implications for social media. I’m so grateful for Melissa’s contribution because this area of our lives (social media) is ever growing and requires greater discernment every day!

Last summer, the Holy Spirit stirred my soul with these words:

“…aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.” (1 Thess. 4:11-12)

I began to ponder Living Quietly and all that might entail. I confess, the biggest struggle for me then was social media. It continues to be. I have a feeling I’m not the only one who battles the internet and its multitude of temptations, particularly those of social media.

We are, of course, aware of the dangers of social media. We drill the list into our children’s heads: be careful who you friend, what you say, what pictures you post. Most of us are wise enough to safeguard our children and warn them of the potential pitfalls. We allow our spouses access to our email, Facebook, and Twitter for accountability. We have access to our husbands’ accounts as well. We may even have set parameters as to what we will share about our families, jobs, and churches.

And even though we are not filling our feeds with inappropriate content, rough language or suggestive pictures, we may not be modest in our use of social media.

Tim Challies and R. W. Glenn write, “Modest speech is speech that draws attention to God rather than attention to ourselves.” (Modest, 983). If this is the mark, we are falling woefully short. Photographs of our children, our immaculately kept and beautifully decorated homes, our food. Status reports and tweets enumerating our children’s accomplishments, our husbands’ good qualities, our errands. Posts about our fabulous vacations, our organizational prowess, the large number of books we’ve read. These are not necessarily sinful in and of themselves; it is our heart motive that makes them so.

I recently had a discussion with several friends regarding this very topic. Although none of us had read Modest at the time, we all concurred that Christian women do not often realize the power our posts have to stir up envy, strife and discontent in others who are struggling, particularly with their spouses or their children. We might be wise to take Paul’s words regarding food and apply them to our social media consumption: “But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.” (1 Cor. 8:9, ESV)

Am I praising the Lord that I have the health to chase after three toddlers, or am I simply proud that I am able to do so?

Am I thanking God for the gift of my husband, or am I secretly hoping others will compliment him so that I will feel validated?

Am I honoring God by sharing my child’s grades, or do I just want others to take notice of how smart she is?

Am I offering a true representation of a sinner saved by grace, or have I painted a portrait of a superwoman for all to envy?

I cannot answer these questions for anyone except myself, and neither can you. The answers may surprise us and they may differ depending on the circumstances surrounding us at the time. Yet if we seek to be truly modest in our social media, we will consistently examine our hearts before we click that mouse.

“The modest man is aware of the power of his words, so he chooses each one carefully, seeking to make each word an opportunity to bless and strengthen and build up. He is aware that one careless word can cause a great deal of damage, and he is willing to say very little if that is how he can bless others. Sometimes the most modest, helpful, and God-glorifying thing one can say is nothing at all.” (Modest, 996)

For further reading:

We’ve been talking a lot about modesty this month. [intlink id="16" type="category"]Click here to read more posts related to this topic![/intlink]

Melissa JacksonMelissa is a working mother in Virginia, living a quiet and simple life (1 Thess. 4:11-12) with her husband and teenage daughter. She enjoys reading, writing, coffee, football, and bonfires. She is passionate about discipling teenage girls. She blogs at Breath of Life  and Out of the Ordinary.

 

Why Should Christian Women Pursue Modesty?

We’ve been focusing on the virtue of modesty this month. We have talked about [intlink id="10658" type="post"]modesty being more than the clothes we wear[/intlink] and we’ve briefly talked about [intlink id="10617" type="post"]how our culture lies to women when it says that immodesty is cool[/intlink]. We’ve talked about [intlink id="10638" type="post"]confronting our sisters in Christ who may need to be encouraged to seek greater modesty[/intlink] and we have even talked about [intlink id="10685" type="post"]applying the concept of modesty to the most intimate of human relationships-our marriages[/intlink]. Today I would like to talk about the why behind the pursuit of modesty.

Why should we guard our words, our actions, and our appearance? Why should we bring them all under the Lordship of our Savior in this way–in a modest way. If I were explaining modesty to a new believer, who had never contemplated the subject before, what purpose would I give her for no longer seeking to draw attention to herself? What motivation should I have for my own pursuit of modesty?

Three big truths come to mind as I ponder these questions:

1.) We are daughters of the King

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. (Galatians 4:4-7 ESV)

Immodesty is all about attracting the attention of others and making much of yourself. At the heart of immodesty is the desire to be loved, respected, and admired by those around you. It is driven by a deep longing to be noticed, wanted, and honored: it is self-worship.

The beautiful and startling truth is that God lavished his love on us, his daughters, when we were at our darkest. When we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. When we were still following the course of this world and flying high the banner of the prince of the power of the air (Ephesians 2), the Father sent the Holy Spirit to give us life. We are his beloved children, whom he sacrificed his own Son for, for the praise of his glorious name.

We need not seek the approval and admiration of the world, when Christ has secured the affections of the Father for us! Our identity as daughters of the living God frees us to humbly live modest lives because our worth is not found in what others think of us, but in who our Father is. We are daughters of the King.

2.) We are servants of the King

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10 ESV)

This marvelous gospel which has transformed us from rebels to daughters has also claimed our allegiance. This Savior who humbled himself, taking on the form of a servant and dying a sinner’s death, is worthy of the willing and joyful worship we bring him. He has, by his blood, ransomed a people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation (of which we are a part!). Our lives are being transformed day by day by his Spirit and for his glory. We seek sanctification for his glory. We live modestly for his glory.

We needn’t care what the world thinks of us any longer. The opinion of popular culture is not our master. The lustful eyes of the men around us are not what we desire to attract. The jealous stares of covetous women are not what we seek. Instead we aim to honor and glorify the Risen Son. We are not servants of the world and its standards. We are servants of the King.

3.) We are on the mission of the King

“Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.” (2 Timothy 2:10 ESV)

In his letter to Timothy, Paul emphasizes his willingness to suffer for the sake of the gospel. He is so burdened for those who have yet to hear the good news of salvation that he is willing to die for their sake.

We desire to live modest lives for the same purpose. Who are we to draw attention to ourselves and make much of our own abilities, talents, physical appearance, and sensuality when there are people around us perishing? How could we willingly put up a barrier of pride between ourselves and those who have yet to turn from their sins and place their faith in Christ? How could we selfishly demand that they worship us when we should be directing them to the Lord?

We pursue the virtue of modesty because we want people to see Christ in us. All that we are, all that we do, all that we say has one grand and ultimate mission now–to share this marvelous grace we have been given with those who have yet to taste of it. This is the mission of God and therefore as his servants it is now our mission as well.

What truths come to your mind as you contemplate the purpose of living modestly? I would love to hear them!

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Modest: A Book Review, Discussion, and Author Q & A

ModestModest: Men and Women Clothed in the Gospel is March’s book club reading selection. What follows is my review of the book as well as an opportunity for you to pose your questions on modesty to the authors!

If you saw a book devoted to modesty in the book store, what would you expect to be in it? I tend to think it would be filled with things like a defense of modesty, prescriptions for modesty and/or a list of things that aren’t modest. I’d expect it to contain a few “do this” or “don’t do this” diagrams on the back pages, but R.W. Glenn and Tim Challies have given us a completely different kind of book on modesty–a book that focuses on your heart and not your clothing.

In Modest: Men and Women Clothed in the Gospel you will be hard pressed to find a single explanation of what the modest woman looks like in terms of hem length or neckline. Instead what we are given is a book on the Gospel and how it effects the way we act, speak, and dress–what a novel thought! According to the authors, modesty apart from this foundational understanding is pointless:

Modesty without the gospel is prudishness. Modesty divorced from the gospel becomes the supposed benchmark of Christian maturity–perhaps especially for women–and a perch of self-righteous superiority from which to look down on others who “just don’t get it.” You may find yourself exclaiming disbelief about someone else’s wardrobe; “Can’t she see what she is (not) wearing?”

Modesty, apart from the gospel, becomes a self-made religion that can give some appearance of being the genuine article but that is int he end of no value (none!) in our battle with the sinful and inordinate desires of our hearts. If we reduce modesty to certain rules of dress, we are completely separating the concept of modesty from the person and work of Jesus christ. As a result, we may have the appearance of godliness, but not a whole lot more.

So, what we find is that the book Modest is less of a discussion on clothing and more of a discussion on the gospel, which is a breath of fresh air.

If you think this lessens the standards for modest dress, then you would be wrong. In fact, I think it makes it harder. As I quickly read through this short book I found myself wanting the authors to give me a list of specific do’s and don’ts. What do these men think is modest or immodest? What is their standard? What do they think is appropriate for a Christian woman to wear or how do they think a Christian woman should act? I love check lists and being able to live up to other people’s standards. As I closed the book I found myself saying, “Sure modesty is about the heart, but couldn’t they give me even a few specifics of what that looks like?”

While I think it might have been beneficial to walk through a few practical examples (as they did in the appendix for men), Challies and Glenn challenge us to ditch the “before-you-leave-the-house-look-in-the-mirror” check list and seek something higher (and perhaps even harder): view your clothing choices and behavior through the lens of the gospel.

How do the gospel and modesty come together? Challies and Glenn make this important point:

Without question, the foremost intersection of the gospel and modesty is your heart. If your heart is not fundamentally gripped by the grace of God as revealed in the gospel, then all your efforts at modesty will be for naught. This is how the Christian life works. To the extent that our behavior is not grounded in the grace of the gospel, our behavior is not authentically Christian and so cannot bear the fruits of authentic Christianity. Modesty is no exception. Pursue modesty outside the gospel and not only will you fail to be genuinely modest, but everything you do in the name of that supposed modesty will undermine the very gospel you profess to believe.

Instead of a handy check list for modesty, we are challenged to take a closer look at our hearts. Are we seeking to dress, act, and speak appropriately in our context or are we seeking to draw attention to ourselves, and if so, why? Are we seeking to live out our redeemed natures and be a light in the darkness of our culture or are we trying to “fit in” and be accepted by the world? In our pursuit of modesty are we trying to earn the Lord’s favor or be seen as better than others? These are all questions that we must ask ourselves if we are going to pursue modesty from a gospel perspective.

Another key point that Challies and Glen are careful to explain is the influence culture should and should not have on modesty. This is a subject that rarely gets discussed in Christian circles because we tend to focus on how our modesty compares to other Christians. I appreciated the focused discussion on dressing and acting modestly in each context we find ourselves. For instance, modesty will look different in the pool than in the church: One would never wear a bathing suit (even a “modest” one) to a church service, but a bathing suit at a pool might be considered perfectly acceptable and modest given the context. This is a helpful distinction to make and one that should be taken into consideration when judging your own attire and even in judging others.

This is a very short little book, so it is not surprising that there are topics and issues within its pages that I wish were more fleshed out. For instance, the authors make a distinction between modesty and chastity in dress. Whereas modesty (by the book’s definition) is simply respecting your culture’s rules for appropriate and inappropriate dress, speech, and behavior, chastity is explained as being the virtue of loving others in our dress (i.e. not exciting lust in men). It was difficult for me to get a grasp on the distinction being made between the two and because this type of immodesty is what women typically think about when addressing the topic, I would have liked to see the relationship between the two virtues fleshed out a little more.

All in all, I really appreciated this book’s focus on the heart and highly recommend it. I think this is a very helpful and important treatment of the topic of modesty and think it will benefit young women just beginning their pursuit of modesty as well as those who have been seeking to live modest lives for some time.

Author Q & A!

We are privileged to have the authors of Modest available to answer some of our burning questions on modesty. Please take a moment to leave your question(s) for Challies and Glenn in the comments of this post and I could choose one of yours to send on to them! On March 27th, I will publish a short interview with the authors in which our questions on modesty will be answered. Don’t miss out!*

*Update: I have chosen 5 of your amazing questions and look forward to sharing Challies and Glenn’s responses with you on the 27th!

Book Club Discussion

If you are reading (or have finished… this is a very short book!) the book, share your thoughts on the arguments made. Are you encouraged and challenged? How has this book changed or altered your view of modesty? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Not able to join us this month? Next month [intlink id="10564" type="page"]The Book Club at Desiring Virtue[/intlink] will be reading Scandalous: The Cross and Resurrection of Jesus by D.A. Carson! Be sure to “like” The Book Club’s Facebook page by clicking here to get the latest updates.

The Beautiful Wife

If modesty is a matter of acting and dressing appropriately to your context then there is one place that we should definitely be acting and dressing seductively-our marriages!  Today I am so pleased and excited to get to share this guest post with you from Becky Pliego. Let us consider today how we can practice modesty when we are alone with our husbands…

Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD,
and he ponders all his paths.
(Proverbs 5:15-21 ESV)

Can we read this passage of the Scripture and think of a topic that must be addressed in a modesty series? Maybe not. Maybe we read it and see only an admonition to men, a warning to our husbands. But what if we read it again and carefully see that these words were not only written for men, but also for us: Christian, modest wives.

—Go back and read the passage again—

If we read these words attentively we are forced to ask ourselves questions like these: Am I a well of joy and pleasure for my husband? Can he come and drink freely from the well of fresh water that he is to find in me or am I putting up barriers and thorns, and using all kinds of excuses for him not to draw near and rejoice with me in the blessed marriage bed?

As Christian women we know we have been called to be the perfect helpmeet of our husbands and we have heard very important sermons on the importance of being submissive to them. We know what a wonderful privilege it is to have children and raise them and serve our families, and be hospitable. We have read endless books about mothering and have learned how to cook and bake, and sew. Some of us seem to know about all the latest homeschooling methods and parenting techniques. We are good at stretching our finances and have learned how to be good stewards of the blessings God provides through our husband’s job. We know –or we think to know– what it means to dress modestly. And all that is wonderful, very important indeed, but these verses in Proverbs are also in the Scriptures for us –Christian, modest wives– to read and do something practical with: let us not neglect the role we have as a wife in the blessed marriage bed.

Perhaps it is time for us to consider a few things –things different than how to cook an amazing meal or home décor, or even the kind of clothes we need to wear in order to appear modest- and start asking ourselves some godly questions that we tend to neglect:

  • Am I anticipating a night of intoxicating love with my husband or am I always too tired for that?
  • Am I looking forward to love my husband, the man whom I love, the one who is mine?
  • Am I looking forward to kissing him and being kissed by him?

The bride in the Song of Solomon sang, “My beloved is mine, and I am his…” and we love the sound of these words and we hang them on our bedroom walls, but are we living them? Do we wait with anticipation and excitement for the time of the day when the covenant in which we entered before God, that mystery of marriage –husband and wife becoming one flesh– can be lived in the sacred bed? Do we look forward to closing the door of our bedroom and leaving behind our cares and worries, and just loving and be loved by our own husband?

The bride continues her song and says (Ch.4:16), “Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.” See that the wife welcomes her husband, she is inviting him to come; she has prepared a banquet for him. She longs not only to drink but to be drunk with love! (SS 5:1) She is not afraid to take the initiative (5:11-12) because she knows she is safe within the marriage covenant. She knows that their marriage bed is a sacred place, a place of worship, a place of joy.

What if we start to prepare today a garden with the choicest fruits, a vineyard for our own husband to come and enjoy? What if we let the spring of fresh water flow so that he may come and drink freely? We will, with no doubt, be doing a godly and pious thing. We will know that we are fulfilling what the Lord intended for a husband and wife to do, and we will be glad and rejoice because all that God has made is good and good in great manner. This is, dear Sisters, what Christian, modest wives are also called to do.

“Many waters cannot quench love,
Neither can floods drown it.”
Song of Solomon 8:7

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

Becky is a Mexican living in one of the most crowded cities in the world, Mexico City. She has been happily married to an incredible man for almost 20 years. They have four children (from lower grammar to College) and have homeschooled them following the Classical Christian Education model. Becky enjoys the big books and the small books, she loves to study God’s word and read mostly, from dead authors, like the Puritans. She currently teaches Spanish at Veritas Press Scholars; loves to take out her watercolors on a sunny Saturday and paint, and you will always see her with her camera ready to capture the simple everyday moments that make up her days. She loves to bake muffins for her family on Saturdays while they are still asleep, so they wake up to the sweet smell of home. You can find Becky on her main blog Daily On My Way to Heaven.