What’s Filling Your Pot?

May 16, 2012 by Monica

I was tired. Oh so tired.

Walking into a crowded sanctuary that Friday night, I gazed around the room looking for a seat at our yearly women’s conference. At home, my sweet husband, although tired from a long work week, stayed to watch my two teething, irritable girls. After visiting with a few ladies, I sank into my seat and pushed thoughts of bedtime to the back of my head.

God is so good! He knew exactly what encouragement I needed to get through that weekend. You see, not only was I physically tired from caring for crabby kids, I had begun to neglect the source of true energy and encouragement.

This may be a big assumption, but I doubt I’m the only one who has periods of time where I start to rely on myself for energy, answers, and strength. Why does this happen? Why do we–do I–neglect the Savior of the universe and somehow think that I have the ability to do things by myself?

Remember the first miracle Jesus preformed? He attending a week long wedding celebration that developed a sudden problem. The wine–consumed. The pots–empty. The source for more–nowhere to be found. John 2:5 “His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever He tells you’.” Jesus knew the wine was gone and He knew how to fill those empty pots. And He did! How? By His miraculous power and the obedience of the servants to do what He said.

This weekend, I was empty. My energy was consumed. I wasn’t even looking to be filled! But, God knew what I needed. He reminded me that I must “Do what He tells me”. And what does He want from me? For my gaze to be on Him! He will bless me when I forsake sin and make my delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on it day and night (Psalm 1:1-3). This is the means he desires to bless me through!

This means I MUST take time to focus on Christ daily to refill my empty pot–and fill it to the brim. When I obey Christ and spend time in His word, my pot will be filled with joy from Him. Then that joy will overflow to others–my husband, my kids, other people I interact with. It becomes a continuous flow–my filling of God, giving that joy to others, then turning for more of God, then back to give, and the constant cycle continues.

“If you poor yourself out for the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong. And you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.” (Is. 58:10-11)

Who do you pour into daily? Your children? Husband? Neighbors? Co workers? Those you disciple? Are you drawing from your own wisdom and strength to do this? Or are you running to the only source that can fill you up?

Feast on His word daily! Give Him your fears, worries, and anxieties. Bask in His love and goodness. Yearn for more of Him. When you feel yourself growing weary and tired, reach for more of the One who always has more to give. This simple, basic concept remains key to our sanity, ladies!

Remember though, spending time with Jesus doesn’t make God love you more. When God looks at you, if you are His child, He’s sees the perfection of Christ. His love for you is NOT based on how much time you spend with Him. When you fail to have a quiet time, God is NOT disappointed in you. He is, however, disappointed for us. He knows what we’re missing by choosing to rely on ourselves. He knows what we could have and how much more joy and efficiency we can show because of Him.

Have you ever chopped vegetables for dinner with a butter knife? Carrots, broccoli, and onions for stir fry don’t dice easily with such a dull blade. Sure, it can be done, but it’s difficult! When you grab a nice chef blade with a sharp edge, it glides through those veggies in no time. So it is when we spend time with Christ. When we neglect him, our blade is dull. Yes, we can get through our daily interactions and to do list, but when we spend time with our Redeemer and Lord, our focus is on Him. We are then able to glide through our day smoother because He is our strength!

Since that weekend I have had a renewed desire to spend time each morning filling up my pot and sharpening my knife so that I can glide through my day overflowing with love and joy to my kids and others. Does this mean each day has been perfect? NO! But I’m grateful for a God who fills me up so I can serve Him by comforting those cranky, teething young ones.

Monica is married to Matthew and has two adorable little girls Abigail and Aubrey. She can be found writing at A Godly Heritage and is the newest contributor to Desiring Virtue.

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When Mother’s Day is Painful

May 7, 2012 by desiringvirtue

My first official Mother’s Day was a painful one. A few months before we had lost our first baby in an early miscarriage and now I was pregnant with our oldest son Elliot. Only about a month into his pregnancy I was full of mixed emotions, both joyful and fearful, both hopeful and timid. I was still mourning the child I had lost and afraid of losing the one now growing in my womb. Mother’s Day wasn’t a celebration for me, it was a reminder of the blessing that could be taken from my grasp at any moment–a reminder of the dream I could at any moment awaken from.

Before losing our first baby I was only vaguely aware of the many women around me who either struggled with infertility or with lost pregnancies. The pain and sorrow so many of my sisters-in-Christ were experiencing was a far off notion, something I assumed was happening, but could never truly understand. The depth of pain experienced and the breadth of women affected by such grief was beyond my knowledge. I was blissfully unaware of the realities of infertility and pregnancy loss.

Now, in the middle of the most common years for childbearing, I am surrounded by sisters who have known the pain of losing a baby in the womb or who wrestle with the unfulfilled longing of motherhood. The percentage of women who experience such sorrows is higher than I would have ever imagined and the need for compassion and understanding toward such sisters is a genuine need within the church.

Are you aware of the women around you who have recently lost a child? Do you know which couples are struggling with infertility? As in all circumstances we are called to look outside ourselves and care for those around us. While we may be celebrating the joys and privileges of raising children for the glory of God, others are wading through the mirky waters of grief, trying desperately to honor the Lord in their unfulfilled longing for children. Are you willing to be sensitive to the needs of these dear sisters?

Recently the issue of infertility on Mother’s Day was highlighted by Dr. Russell Moore as he encouraged churches to remember those who will find this day to be a difficult one:

What if, at the end of a service, the pastor called any person or couple who wanted prayer for children to come forward and then asked others in the congregation to gather around them and pray? Not every person grappling with infertility will do this publicly, and that’s all right. But many will. And even those too embarrassed to come forward will be encouraged by a church willing to pray for those hurting this way. The pastor could pray for God’s gift of children for these couples, either through biological procreation or through adoption, whichever the Lord should desire in each case.

Regardless of how you do it, remember the infertile as the world around us celebrates motherhood. The Proverbs 31 woman needs our attention, but the 1 Samuel 1 woman does too.

First, please avoid making a distinction between mothers and non-mothers in a physical way (e.g. having all the moms stand up or giving flowers to all the moms). I well remember sitting in a Father’s Day service where all the dads were asked to stand. I felt like there was a huge neon sign over me that kept flashing “not able to have kids, not able to have kids.” My wife felt it keenly as well: she began to weep. The most pastorally sensitive leaders I know avoid this like the plague. Instead, they acknowledge the day and proceed to pray earnestly for the full range of emotions that are being experienced on that day (since it is often quite painful, not just for those unable to have kids, but for those estranged from their moms, those moms who are estranged from their kids, those who have recently lost a mother, etc.).

This leads to the second thing. As Moore indicates, it is important to recognize that there are many conflicting emotions going on during a Mother’s Day service. It is crucially important to pastor all the people through that time.

Today my sweet friend Melissa shared a similar plea to pastors which I feel can be helpful for all church members to remember:

If you know a woman in your congregation is struggling with infertility, chances are she’s fighting to filter her pain through God’s Word. And no matter her degree of biblical literacy, she probably feels like something is missing in her life. It is all too easy to believe the lie – like the earth’s very mother who fell prey to the seduction of the seemingly lovely and profitable forbidden fruit – that a good gift is being withheld from her unfairly (Gen. 3:1-5). So, the recognition of individuals to whom much has been given can be a bitter pill to swallow.

Similarly, motherhood is often celebrated in our churches solely for what we possess. Timely (and appropriate) verses like Ps. 127:3-5 adorn our prayers and power points on this day:

“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.”

Yet as true as Psalm 127:3-5 is, when we speak those words without the balance ofbiblical perspective we mistakenly make motherhood solely about the have’s and infertility about the have not’s. And before we know it, we’ve missed a crucial part of the biblical story – how God works in and through his people for his eternal purposes. How HE is the ultimate reward for those who trust in Him to build their home (Ps. 127:1-2).

I would like to remind us women of the church, as this “holiday” approaches, to be purposeful about caring for the needs and emotions our sisters may be going through. Whether you are yet in a position to have children of your own or you have been blessed by the Lord with the gift of children, remember that Sunday will be a pointed reminder of loss and grief for many around you.

Would you pray for these precious women and their husbands?

Would you write them a note of encouragement acknowledging their lost children or their unfulfilled desires?

Would you bring them to the Father of Mercy and Grace who withholds no good gift from his children without purpose?

Would you make it a point to not forget their struggle as the days continue on and their longing is not satisfied?

Would you be their friend, their prayer warrior, their shoulder to cry on?

We are all members of one body. As the church of Christ, our sister’s pain is our own pain. We must deliberately seek to encourage those who are in the midst of struggling to find joy and contentment with the providence of our loving God. We must acknowledge the very real pain they are feeling and direct them to the overwhelming joy and hope found in our Savior Jesus Christ.

If you are currently struggling with miscarriage or infertility, what are some ways you have been blessed by other sisters-in-Christ? How can those who have never experienced such loss or pain most encourage you? Please share your thoughts in the comments…

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You Know You’re a Mother When…

Apr 19, 2012 by desiringvirtue

I was in the process of putting all of your comments from a previous post into an anthology of sorts, when my three year old and (almost) two year old came bursting into the room. The oldest was pushing his little brother in a laundry basket and they were both very please with themselves. I too, was impressed to see them playing with each other rather than fighting with each other. All seemed sublime. My two just-bathed-hair-brushed-pajama-wearing-sweethearts were playing together, grinning from ear to ear. Then the bomb shell.

“Mommy, there’s pee pee in this basket!” the oldest declared matter-of-factly.

Yes, pee pee in the basket that held my smiling two year old.

Boys.

Back to the bath tub we go! All the while I am thinking, what perfect timing. Right as I am compiling all of your hilarious comments that begin with, “You know you are a mother when…”

It is true, motherhood is filled with the strangest, most unexpected of situations. What was once peacefully normal before you had children is replaced by the tiring, confusing, challenging, and very often gross realities of raising little people who need your constant attention. What is a normal “day in the life” for you can seem like a nightmare to another who has yet to become accustom to such “activities.” You, however, have been slowly (and sometimes not so slowly) introduced to the “complexities” of motherhood, and know that even the most unenjoyable moments are overshadowed by the inexpressible joy a child brings into your life. Every day I am blessed by these precious little souls entrusted to my care. From their smiles to their hugs, to their giggles, to their sweet voices. Children are indeed a blessing from the Lord.

Even the difficulties they add to our lives are blessings, drawing us closer to our Heavenly Father. As I bathed my two children for the second time in an hour and cleaned out the laundry basket full of pee-sopping toys, I was “challenged” to remember that this, even this circumstance was sanctifying me. Slowly, ever so slowly, my selfishness, pride, and anger are being replaced by the selfless, humble, and joyful character of Christ. Every moment of the day that I give up my own desires for their good is a day that the Lord is conforming me to his perfect image.

He is doing the same in you too sisters! Take heart and draw near to him who gave everything for his church, to the point of death.

But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25-28 ESV)

All of this to say, I would like to add a new one to the list:

You know you are a mother when you come to terms with your child being completely content and happy while sitting in a basket of pee (and you can clean up the entire mess in a record braking 10 minutes).

And now without further ado, I would like to share the hilarious list of things that become a reality when you are the mother of little ones–all supplied by you, the readers of Desiring Virtue. These comments were just too funny not to put together into one glorious list that I am sure every mother will be able to relate to. Thank you for sharing your “experiences” with DV’s readers! Enjoy!

You know you’re a mother when…

(an in-exhaustive list from Desiring Virtue’s readers)

you’ve changed your shirt 3 times before you leave the house—not because you can’t decide what to where, but because baby threw up his breakfast on you multiple times .

your definition of “mopping” becomes spot cleaning with a lysol wipe.

the word “clean” in general takes on a whole new meaning. (Some days if I can see the floor and we have clothes to wear, I feel like I’m on top of my game.

you find yourself feeling sympathetic rather than judgmental toward the mama with a child having a meltdown and saying a silent, “Thank you, Lord” that it’s not yours at that particular moment.

you learn to chop veggies, serve dinner, or do about anything else with one hand because you are holding your crying 23 month old in the other arm.

you learn to change diapers in midair because the same 23 month old keeps squirming away from you and crawling all over the bed.

you develop night vision that allows you to change diapers and fill bottles with no light for fear of waking up the crying baby even more.

you have forgotten what it is like to go to the bathroom without someone banging on the door and screaming for something.

you find yourself yelling at your child to stop doing something that you haven’t seen him do but just know he’s doing.

you go to a restaurant and instinctively remove all condiments from the table to avoid your child turning their soda into a science project.

the majority of the contact you have with your husband at night is a toe-hug.

on any given day you aren’t sure if you’ve brushed your teeth or applied deodorant.

many of your once beloved, “I would NEVER do ____” you now do without batting an eye. You find yourself giggling inside when you hear another young mom or mother-to-be making her declarations.

you can’t remember the last time you had a full night sleep. Uninterrupted.

half way through the grocery store, you look down and notice green peas all over the front of your shirt.

one little toothless smile makes it all worth it.

peace and quiet cause suspicion!

you can’t have a complete telephone conversation because that’s the exact moment your kids “NEED” you!

all you really need during a bad day is two little arms wrapped around your neck and a wet kiss pressed to your cheek!

you sound like you have Tourette’s during every phone conversation.

your husband says, “I have a really sexy idea!” you secretly hope it has something to do with you sleeping in or him running to the store, because that sounds sexy to you.

you own grubby sweatpants. And nice sweat pants. And maybe even church sweat pants.

you overhear another mother say to her child, “What, do you think I can just pull granola bars out of my pocket?” you have to laugh. Because it’s funny. And because you’ve said something similar before.

you hum children’s show theme songs throughout your day.

you dream in cartoons.

there is more love in your heart than you could ever have imagined.

you can talk on the phone, wear a baby, and go to the bathroom at the same time

you have three sets of clothes for each season–skinny, pregnant, and in-between…

a “sick day” means you still do everything you normally do, only you stay in your pajamas…

you now wake up early on Saturdays to go grocery shopping while everyone else in town sleeps in (whereas you used to put it off until late afternoon before kids).

it’s no longer a question of whether or not you have some bodily fluid on your shirt–but how much and if your cardigan covers it…

going to the bathroom is no longer a solitary pursuit.

your baby’s projectile vomit hits your shoes, coat, and hands on a walk and you don’t turn around to go home and change, you just keep walking .

Ah Motherhood…

Yes, we experience some of the strangest things as mothers, and some of them even become “normal” as everyday occurrences, and yet this list is only a tiny glimpse into the realities of motherhood. It shows the very really, funny, and yet often trivial aspects of motherhood.

What it does not express is the profoundly important task we are assigned as mothers of eternal souls. As we all laugh and identify with the list above, I would like to bring that sacred calling to our minds and leave you with a burning passion to count all of the “inconveniences” listed above as worth it.

It is worth it to have bodily fluids flung on us at various point in time throughout the day.

It is worth it to have little to no sleep on most nights.

It is worth it to be interrupted on the phone for the hundredth time.

One day these little ones will have left our homes. One day they will be be out of our grasp, living the life we have had the privilege to help shape and mold. Don’t lose sight of the work you are called to sisters. Don’t forget you are shaping souls, through the grace of God, for the exaltation of Christ.

“O mothers of young children, I bow before you in reverence. Your work is most holy. You are fashioning the destinies of immortal souls. The powers folded up in the little ones that you hushed to sleep in your bosoms last night are powers that shall exist for ever. You are preparing them for their immortal destiny and influence. Be faithful. Take up your sacred burden reverently. Be sure that your heart is pure and that your life is sweet and clean. The Persian apalogue says that the lump of clay was fragrant because it had lain on a rose. Let your life be as the rose, then your child as it lies upon your bosom will absorb the fragrance. If there is no sweetness in the rose the clay will not be perfumed.” (J.R. Miller, The Family.)

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“You Are Mommy’s Gold”

Apr 11, 2012 by desiringvirtue

An Exerpt from Designing a Lifestyle That Pleases God:

One of the first lessons I learned when I transitioned from working outside the home to working at home was that motherhood changes every aspect of your life. Change is difficult for most of us. Acknowledging that there are adjustments to be made when becoming a mother does not mean that you are less committed or less capable of performing your role. Motherhood really changed everything–what I ate, how I dressed, when I slept, what I read, the friends I had, the amount of time with my husband, and even how I handled my time with the Lord each day! In an attempt to try to keep my sense of humor during this adjustment period, I began to write down ways my life had changed. I began each sentence with, “You know your a mommy when…” It helped me to see that most of the things that had changed were insignificant and not eternal in value–but they were still indicative of adjustments that needed to be made and pointed to why life often seemed unfamiliar and unorganized. here is a sampling from my list; perhaps you can relate to a few of the changes I experienced!

You Know You’re a Mommy When:

“Sleeping late” on a Saturday morning is 7 A.M.!

You get up on Sunday mornings at 5:30 A.M. and are still late for church!

You know the location of every drive-through bank, pharmacy, and restaurant (so you don’t have to do the car-seat-to-stroller/stroller-to-car-seat workout routine on every errand)!

The grocery store is an exciting family outing!

Weekly menu plans and recipes come from the 20 Minutes or Less Cookbook!

You have your “quiet times” with the Lord during the 2 A.M. baby feeding!

Macaroni and cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches become your lunch delicacies!

You discover you really can talk on the phone, give the baby his bottle, and play cars with your toddler all at once!

You used to need an hour to get ready to go out but now are excited about having ten uninterrupted minutes to fix your hair and change your clothes!

Staying up late is 9 P.M.!

Adjusting to motherhood is like adjusting to a new culture. It takes time, effort, and plenty of patience to feel comfortable in your new surroundings.

I also learned as a part of my adjustment to motherhood that any sacrifice, life change, or inconvenience, pales in comparison to the rich blessing and reward of becoming a mother. The depth of love I experience toward my children is like no other I have ever experienced. the rewards of watching them grow are priceless! I would not trade being at home with my boys as their mom for anything this world has to offer me. I often tell my boys, “You are mommy’s gold!” (Designing a Lifestyle that Pleases God)

What would be on your “You Know You’re A Mommy When…” list? Share your additions in the comments and let’s fellowship in this glorious (but often tiring, confusing, defeating, and humbling) task of motherhood!

I would add….

Showering without a little head popping around the shower curtain to say “hello” becomes a luxury!
Half of your “date night” is spent talking about the children and the other half trying not to talk about the children.
Your meal is always left half eaten as you try to control the amount of your child’s ends up on the floor/table/ceiling.

…just to name a few! What would you add?

This post is linked up with A Wise Woman Builds Her Home and Raising Homemakers

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Rachelle’s Story of Grace

Apr 4, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Today I am privileged to introduce you to a very special guest. During our time at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Richard and I were blessed by so many incredible friendships. Rachelle, who graciously agreed to share her testimony with us today, and her husband Andrew were among them. Please welcome her today and be blessed by these encouraging words of our Lord’s powerful work of grace in her life!

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

This verse is currently posted on bright yellow card stock in my kitchen. It’s right there by my head as I wash dishes, wipe down counters, and prepare meals. I easily spend several hours a day in my kitchen, and many moments of those hours are spent reading and rereading that verse. It has been a verse that I have clung too nearly every day for several months, and even now as I type, I think upon the sweet promise of this verse and rejoice for what the Lord has been working in my heart. My sinful, wicked, selfish heart. But we’ll get to that later. It may be helpful to first back up and give somewhat of a framework of my life before this particular season of motherhood I am now in.

Of course God’s grace in my life began when he first brought me to himself. I was a young girl, only 7, when I believe I became a child of God, and he has continued to pour out his grace upon me throughout my life. Truly, I am amazed as I look back to see his hand in my life. Being brought up by Christian parents who were faithful to bring my siblings and I to a bible-believing church was a blessing certainly beyond what I deserved. God was gracious to use my parents and a church faithful to the gospel to bring about an awareness in my heart of my need for Christ.

Fast-forward about 9 years to my introduction to the Doctrines of Grace, when the Lord virtually skyrocketed my desire for His Word. I became introduced to so many amazing people (and authors) who helped me grow to love Christ more than ever before. My family simultaneously began attending a new church, where wouldn’t you know it, the pastor believed in the doctrines of grace! Through a series of events, I ended up pursing a degree in Biblical and Theological studies in Louisville, KY where I met my husband, and gave birth to our first two children. God’s grace brought me there. And that is where a new season of grace began to wash over me, and continues to do so with more fervency now in Minneapolis. I am now the mother to three sons, and wife to a hard-working seminary student.

How exactly is God’s grace working in my life now? Well, that is where this season of motherhood comes into play. My excitement and passion for sound theology and doctrine in my late teenage years and early 20′s have now given way to practicality. In other words, my theology has taken shape into real, practical life. It’s not simply knowledge in my head that I believed with my heart because I know I can trust God’s Word–It’s more than that. I desperately NEED God not simply because his Word makes it clear (which is true, and good), but because yesterday…. okay,today, I yelled at my children. Okay, big deal. Everyone yells at their kids, right? Well yes, it is a big deal. We are to “let no corrupting talk come from [our] mouths, but only such is profitable for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29—this one is red, also posted in my kitchen). And it’s not even just a matter of yelling, it’s my heart. I began to realize as my first child grew into toddlerhood that I had an anger problem. Anger would start to boil up in my heart as that little child of mine would attempt to defy me and wield his will over mine. My first outburst of anger truly startled me. The first year of struggling with this “new found” anger, so-to-speak, was tumultuous. Of course this was not some sort of new sin. It was there, all along. In my heart. It simply had never surfaced.

I was unable to overcome on my own. I might have had a few good days where I really handled my sons well, patiently correcting and teaching them. But, soon enough I was at it again, yelling in anger at my poor children. Then, God’s grace showed me something incredible. One day, I heard some neighbors yelling at one another. They were so angry with each other, screaming and cursing. As I heard them yelling, I began to shake my head, but only for a second. God grabbed at my heart and said, “And are YOU any better than they?” Tears streamed down my face. No. Surely, I am not. I too yell in anger, and at my dear, precious children! God had given them to me, to show them Christ, and all I was showing them was my selfish heart. I did not like being disobeyed by them. I did not like being inconvenienced by having to deal with disciplinary issues. There my heart was laid bare to me: wicked, selfish and sinful.

But what mercy, and what grace is found in our beautiful Savior! He doesn’t leave us to wallow in our failures. His grace shows us our sin, and his grace helps us to overcome. By His grace I began to understand that just as I could not save myself without Christ and His Spirit drawing me to him, neither could I overcome my battle against sin without him. “Without me you can do nothing.” How true. How precious and true it is.

I am so thankful the Lord has used my children to reveal my sinful heart. He has drawn it out in a way that has been painful. Oh but what joy to know that His death and resurrection has defeated the powers of hell and my sin is forgiven! In recent months he has graciously directed me to several resources to continue to encourage me in this area, most especially the verse quoted at the beginning of this post. God is able to make all grace abound to me! So that I will have ALL sufficiency, at all times, even in my mothering, to ABOUND in EVERY GOOD WORK! It’s a promise! I still battle, of course. But I feel a greater sense of dependence up Him. I am so much more in prayer than I have ever been in my life. There is no sweeter place to be than resting in His strength. It is all grace that I should even see my sin, and grace that I should be able to turn to him for help! And grace that “he who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil 1:6). I want to end with a song that always brings me to tears–happy, joyful tears. May you feel God’s grace in whatever path he leads you through and find him to be your greatest treasure!

All I Have is Christ

I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

Rachelle is the wife of Andrew who attends seminary at Bethlehem College and Seminary and the mother of three adorable little boys: Daniel, Isaiah and Micah Andrew.

This post is linked up with A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Grace Laced, Raising Homemakers

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Book Review: Parenting in the Pew

Mar 26, 2012 by desiringvirtue

“Joy is the last word many parents would choose to describe what it’s like to sit in the pew with their children. Resentment and frustration are not uncommon feelings for people who “before we had kids” experienced an hour of peace and calm in the pew. Parenting in the pew can be a hassle. Or it can be holy. It depends on who we are and how we see ourselves. Do we sit with our children “in church” or “in worship”?

Too many adults who learned how to be quiet in church are still doing just that. And many of them are passing this along to their children. A family can learn to sit still very well, but be unmoved by the holy presence of God.”

If I had to sum up the purpose of Robbie Castleman’s book Parenting in the Pew everything I said would flow from these couple sentences found in chapter two. Mrs. Castleman urges parents to make sure that they are purposeful in how they interact with their children at church–to view the time they have in the pew as a continuation of their parental responsibility to lead their children to the throne of Christ, not a respite of that responsibility.

In a very loving and friendly way, Castleman brings you along as she journeys through various personal accounts of how she set out to parent her own children in the pew. As the wife of a pastor, Castleman carried the brunt of instructing her children during worship services as her husband was often busy leading and teaching. In a very real sense, she operated as a single parent on Sunday mornings as most pastor’s wives do. As she set about intentionally training her children during worship to engage in the various aspects of the service, other families followed her lead and were able to encourage one another in their pursuit of parenting in the pew.

Perhaps one of the greatest assets Castleman brings to her writing is the firsthand, personal experience of raising two godly men. The stories of difficulty and perseverance are backed up by the joy and honor of having children who have literally risen up and called her blessed–children who have become her “friends before the throne of grace.” Toward the end of the book Castleman explains that “in the presence of our Father, my sons have become my brothers. There is no greater joy for any parent in the pew.”

If you are looking for magical tricks or tips to help your children be quiet and still during church, this book will sadly disappoint. Rather, Castleman stresses the importance of encouraging your children to develop a genuine desire to worship the Lord alongside their parents. She discourages bringing toys, or coloring books, or snacks into service as the purpose of doing these things is often to “occupy” your children, rather than bringing them alongside you in your passion to worship the Lord.

I appreciated her emphasis on our motive and heart as parents bringing our children to church. Are we bringing them to church to sit and behave well, or are we bringing them to church so that they can experience the life changing power of God? Often our actions (how we practically manage our children) betray our desires (what we hope to accomplish by bringing our children with us). Castleman gives many practical tips on how to encourage your children to actively take part in the worship service during both the early toddler years and the later teen years. Throughout this book it is evident that she is interested teaching you to reach the hearts of your children rather than being content with raising children who are really good at sitting still.

It is good to be aware that Castleman writes from a Presbyterian perspective. While this fact obviously influences her book, she is careful to give practical advice and alternative views when dealing with topics that may be impacted by different denominational practices (such as infant vs. believer’s baptism). One particularly odd moment in the book was one such occasion when Castleman addressed those churches of a charismatic nature. She speaks of those teenagers within the charismatic community who may “begin to embrace expressions of faith that are evident in their parents and congregations, like speaking in tongues and the laying on of hands.” As one who views many of these “expressions of faith” as misinterpreted within the charismatic community, I found this small section a little unsettling. This would not keep me, however, from recommending this book to those who, like myself and the author, are not a part of the charismatic church. One other, smaller critique would be to suggest that the book be updated as some of the subjects and language are obviously dated being that this book was originally written in 1992. Within the twenty years that this book was first published (!!!) much has changed in terms of technology and contemporary music artists. Updating these things would do a great deal in the way of keeping the ever relevant information within the book… relevant to today’s parents.

Parenting in the Pew will be an encouragement to any parent who desires to better engage their children during church in an effort to bring glory to God and bring their children to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I highly recommend this little book as a helpful resource to Christian parents.

This post is linked up with A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

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The Living Word of God is a Mother’s Greatest Resource

Mar 16, 2012 by desiringvirtue

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 ESV)

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12 ESV)

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:26 ESV)

“While society relates discipline to an uncontrolled use of physical punishment, Biblical discipline involves love, the heart, and God’s Word. Because God is concerned with the issues of the heart, biblical discipline involves much more than outward behavior. Biblical discipline gets to the heart of the problem. After all, if you can reach the heart, the behavior will take care of itself. In order for us to reach the hearts of our children we must realize that there is far more to parenting than getting our children to act right. We have to get them to think right and to be motivated out of a love of virtue rather than a fear of punishment. We do this by training them in righteousness. Righteous training can only come from the Word of God.” (Don’t Make Me Count to Three!)

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When the Dream of Motherhood Becomes a Reality

Mar 15, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Our youngest, suffering from Hand-Foot-Mouth

I can distinctly remember the first time I felt a genuine desire to be a mother. I was in my teens and babysitting my mentor’s children. She and my youth pastor had three beautiful little girls at the time, the youngest being around one year old. After putting all of them down to sleep and feeling very accomplished I settled down on the couch to watch a movie (I may or may not have been watching their wedding tape…). Suddenly I heard a shriek from upstairs. I bolted up to the nursery room and found the littlest girl crying hysterically in her crib. I swept her up in my arms and sat down in the rocker, gently patting her back and humming in her ear. Between singing little lullabies and the natural “sh sh sh” that seems to be built into all women, this precious little child slowly drifted back into blissful sleep. Whatever terrifying dream that had awoken her seemed to have vanished like a wisp of smoke as she laid heavily in my arms leaving only the remnant of drying tears on my shoulder. I stayed in that rocker for longer than was probably necessary, but I couldn’t help but soak up this wonderful moment. The sweet smell of a baby mixed with the quiet, heavy breathing of deep sleep filled my heart with joy and the hope of one day getting to experience such blessings on a regular basis–to be the Mommy who makes everything better.

My perception of motherhood has always been centered around moments like the story I just shared–the beautiful, happy moments (moments typically seen in movies). Before actually having children of my own I naively believed that the pictures in the Babies ‘R Us magazine were an accurate representation of what motherhood would look like. Then the reality of breastfeeding, projectile vomit, sleepless nights, fevers that drive you to the emergency room, and little to no “alone” time rushed in with the blessing of our first child. I quickly realized that motherhood was less about being a part of a “perfect moment” and more about being perfected in every moment.

My husband and I have often mused that couples should have the opportunity to take “Preparental Counseling” during the nine months they have to prepare for their first baby. Much like marriage, parenthood can benefit from preparation and a heavy dose of reality. While there is no limit to the amount of pithy statements people will offer you with “the best of intentions” as they notice your growing belly (“You will never sleep again!” or “Say goodbye to your figure!”) it is rarer to receive real, Christ-exalting, practical advice.

You see, the moment your baby arrives you are suddenly catapulted out of your magical, dream-like fantasy of what motherhood is all about and dropped into a mandatory life of sacrifice. Even the worst of mothers must, inevitably sacrifice her own desires for the wellbeing of her children to some degree. Those of us who, by God’s grace, desire to tenderly care for these little ones find that we are quickly confronted with our own selfishness as the needs of our children present themselves all. the. time. It quickly becomes apparent that one of the primary blessings of caring for children is the sanctification that Christ provides through them.

There are indeed many beautiful and perfect moments that mothers are blessed to experience. There are times when I think my heart will burst with all of the love and joy I feel when I am with my children. Every day I am given the incredible privilege of being the “Mommy who can make everything better,” and yet, every day I am confronted with my own self-centered, self-serving, just plain selfish self! Every day is an opportunity, through the abundant grace of God, to give up more of my own rights, more of my own desires for two precious souls who are utterly dependent upon me. Every day is an opportunity to give myself over to the sacrificial life that Christ calls all of his disciples to live. Every day is an opportunity to be conformed to the image of my Savior. Every day is filled with gracious blessings.

As mothers, we have a choice to either believe the world and view the daily difficulties of motherhood as an unfair burden or to believe the Word of God and view them as divine gifts meant to draw us closer to our precious Savior. The fruit of believing the world’s lies is anger, bitterness, discouragement, and dissatisfaction, but the fruit born from the Spirit as we trust in the eternal Word of God is joy, peace, perseverance, and sanctification.

For this reason, I would submit to you that your children are not just blessings when they are clean, obedient, joyful, and sleeping peacefully all through the night. No, children are a blessing in every way, even when they demand all that you have and seem to suck the life right out of you, because it is then when they have indeed sucked all of your selfish propensities and self-centered desires from you, that you reflect your Savior the most. It is then that you must cling ever so close to the cross and allow his sanctifying blood to drip over you and create in you a new person–a mother who delights in sacrifice.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good (even middle of the night breast-feeding), for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28 ESV, Parenthesis added by me)

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An End to Your “Work Day”

Mar 12, 2012 by desiringvirtue

A mother’s job is never done. But can a housekeeper’s, a school teacher’s, a baker’s, an accountant’s or a blogger’s job end at 5 o’clock with the rest of the world? Of course it can! As homemakers, we wear many different hats and some of those need to be taken off both mentally and physically at some point in time or your day will simply turn into one overstressed, unproductive mush. Having a cut off time for certain household duties is beneficial in many ways.

First, it gives you incentive to work hard up until that designated point in time. It is much easier to put your nose to the grindstone when you have a light at the end of the tunnel to keep you going. When you feel like giving up or surfing the web, you can remind yourself that you have time for that on your “off” hours. Alternatively, deluding yourself with the prospect of a never ending work day can result in procrastination and frustration.

Shutting down shop around 5pm also gives you the ability to refocus and recharge before your husband gets home from work. Let your husband come home to a peaceful, quiet home and a peaceful, quiet wife while you are at it!

Another benefit to segregating some of your daily duties to a set “work day” is your ability to focus on family time at night. It is difficult to give your whole heart and mind to your husband and children when you still have the day’s cares hovering above you like a black cloud. This small amount of time you have with your family every night is precious and should not be taken lightly. It is especially precious to your husband, who spends much of his day outside the home and looks forward to your company when he returns. Some of the most important family activities happen in the evening, from dinner to family worship to bath time to romantic rendezvous. Let your heart, body and mind be all there during these precious times.

One last benefit to cutting off some duties when your husband gets home is that he will not feel as though he needs to help you in those activities. He has been working hard all day and envisions this as his time to relax and rejuvenate, but he can’t truly do this unless you are as well. Watching you fold laundry while he relaxes will only make him feel guilty and you feel bitter in the process!

Now, I am not proposing that you put aside your duties as wife and mother. Dinner still has to be prepared and served, babies still need to be nursed, bathed, and put to bed, and much much more. However, there are specific duties that you can designate to your “work day” and others that you can designate to your “off time.” In order to achieve this reality there are certain disciplines that need to be cultivated every day, here are a few:

Have a plan for your day.
It doesn’t have to be a minute by minute guide, but having a general plan laid out will help you know what you need to accomplish before the “whistle blows” for the end of your work day. Ideally this should be done before your time off so that you don’t have tomorrow’s to-do list hanging over your head while you are trying to relax. Give yourself 10-15 minutes at the end of every work day to plan the next day’s duties. (You may find some of these free Planner Printables helpful)

Get to work on the hard things first.
We all have those specific tasks that we dread doing every day. Whether it is vacuuming or cleaning the tub, getting it done first thing will aid your desire to be productive and spur you on throughout the rest of the day.

Do the most important things on your list next.
With the painful, but necessary tasks out of the way, move on the most important tasks. These will vary day by day, but you don’t want them to get looked over as you go about your business. If you do overlook (0r perhaps ignore them!) them, the chances of you getting to relax when your husband gets home are greatly decreased.

Make as many nighttime chores daytime chores as you can.
For instance, if you normally unload and load the dishwasher after dinner or before you go to bed consider moving your dishwashing routine to the middle of the day. After lunch is through, run the dishwasher and unload it before you call it quits for the day. Then all you will have to do before bed is load the dinner dishes. Maybe you could move bath time for the little ones to a less hectic time during the day. If so, that is one less thing you will have to do before the kids go down. Simply setting out the kid’s diapers and pajamas for bed time (before you stop working for the day) is a huge help when you are trying to simplify your nighttime routine, plus it makes you feel prepared for the night.

Take the necessary steps to be able to call it quits.
You can’t truly call it quits if the house is still in disarray when the quitting bell rings! The last 30 minutes of your day will have to be dedicated to a thorough pic up in order to make quitting a reality. This means that if you desire to stop working at 5pm, you must begin preparing to stop working a little after 4! Imagine how peaceful you would be if, at around 4:15pm you began picking up the house, looking for loose ends that need to be tied (like a clean load of laundry that needs to be put away or dishes that need to be unloaded). You are able to accomplish these last minute details, light a few candles, and put on a pot of coffee to enjoy before you start cooking dinner. Then, at 4:45pm you sit down with the your cup of coffee and plan out the next day. Depending on how long your dinner preparations are going to take, you may even have time to pray for a little bit thanking the Lord for the things you were able to accomplish and asking him to prepare your heart to be ready for your husband. It all sounds rather ideal does it not? Imagine how different your nights could be with just a little bit of planning!

When it is quitting time, quit!
As you are planning out the next day, include the tasks that you were unable to get to today. Most household chores will not blow up if they are left for the next day and unless something completely unexpected happened, you already tended to the most imperative tasks by doing them first. Still, it isn’t as easy as it sounds to quit because a lot of the things we do can be done in just a few minutes. Remember that your off time is designated to other important things like preparing dinner, reading to your kids, or enjoying your husband’s company. These things are just as important (most of the time more important!) as matching a pair of socks or windexing a window.

Keep your plan for the next day handy.
Though it is wise to make this plan before you quit for the day, having it handy so that you can add duties or activities as they come to mind is very helpful. As soon as you think of something or see something that needs to get done jot it down so that it does not weigh on you throughout the night. Before you go to bed, look over your plan for tomorrow one more time and make any adjustments necessary.

Make the “pick-up” habit second nature.
If you aren’t going to dedicate yourself to cleaning after 5, then you will need to be diligent in the upkeep of the house from then on out. Keeping a tidy house must become part of our very nature as homemakers if we are to be able to enjoy a clean home for more than 15 minutes! Just take the time as you are enjoying your family to leave every room you spend time in orderly and picked up.

View your tasks after 5pm as enjoyable, relaxing activities.
Obviously, no matter how much you get done before you quit for the day, there are certain activities as wives and mothers that will have to be done during the night time. However, viewing them as enjoyable, relaxing activities rather than more chores will make your evenings much less stressful. Cooking, if you are not strapped for time, can be a therapeutic and creative endeavor. Bathing your children and putting them to bed should be an enjoyable, memory making activity. Unfortunately these things can become stressful tasks in and of themselves if you have not done the necessary preparations or accomplished enough ahead of time.

Being part of a family is hard work, being the mother or wife in that family is even harder work. However, evenings can be reserved for relaxing and fellowshiping with your husband and family as a means of service to them. The whole work day is devoted to serving your husband through working diligently in your home while he is out, let him enjoy the home you have prepared for him by letting him enjoy you. If we work diligently throughout the day, we can also relax peacefully throughout the evening.

This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife, Raising Homemakers, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, and Our Simple Country Life

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When You No Longer Need a Diaper Bag

Mar 8, 2012 by desiringvirtue

As your babies grow bigger and require less “stuff” while out and about, your begrudgingly beloved diaper bag seems more and more of a burden than a necessity. Half the stuff in there doesn’t ever get used, while the crumbs accumulating at the apple juice-stained bottom of your bag seem to enjoy making appearances every time you whip out a diaper. You start to realize that besides diapers and wipes, there isn’t much more that your toddler really needs, making this humongous “mom bag” a little pointless. For this reason, many consider moving to what is called a “diaper pod” or “diaper pouch.”

These bags are not only helpful for those who are looking to forgo the diaper bag altogether, but for those who may still need a diaper bag for long trips but are looking for something smaller to use for quick outings. For instance, a quick trip to the grocery store. There is really no need to haul in your entire diaper bag, but you definitely don’t want to be caught unprepared when stinky smells begin emanating from your shopping cart! Many people keep their diapers and wipes in a diaper pouch within their diaper bag and then grab the pouch rather than the whole bag for quick outings.

We first began looking for a diaper pouch to lighten the load we were carrying into church on Sunday. With two toddlers in diapers and both of them needing separate bags for separate nursery classes, we easily lugged around three separate bags plus Bibles and note pads. I was happy to continue on in this burdensome way, but my husband couldn’t help but see the ridiculousness of our situation. He decided that we needed a “Sunday Bag.” He suggestion that we find one very large bag that could hold our Bibles, my personal products, snacks, wallets, and two separate smaller bags for the boys (to be divvied up when we dropped them off at their classrooms). Though I had my doubts about this “magical” Sunday bag, any idea my husband has that allows me to purchase a new purse is a-ok with me! Finding a large tote was simple enough (even one that was really cute), but finding smaller bags that could substitute as diaper bags was a little harder. Turns out you have to order those online.

The diaper pouch we settled on was a Ju Ju Be bag called the “Be Quick.” Let me tell you, I LOVE this bag. Here are the pros to the Be Quick:

It is small, but not too small. This bag is small enough to fit inside your purse, but large enough to fit everything you need it to. For instance, on Sundays I can fit 2-3 disposable diapers, a small wipe case, and a sippy cup.
It has a small zippered pouch on the inside. This pouch can be used to put a pacifier, a package of crackers, or a travel size diaper cream.
It is super washable. The fabric doesn’t collect stains and can easily be cleaned.
It has a wristlet. This is handy for quick outings when you just want to sling the bag on your wrist and go. Also, the wristlet provides a way for you to hang the bag on a hook if needed and attach a name tag.
It comes in really attractive prints. Ours is in the Marvelous Mums pattern, and I absolutely love it.
It is a high quality bag. This bag isn’t going to get ugly or break any time soon. We have had ours for over a year now and it still looks brand new. Ju Ju Be makes top notch bags (and they have a price to prove it). Just check out some of their other products and you will see what I mean.

Here is a YouTube video of the diaper pouch we settled on:

For anyone who is either looking for an alternative to their heavy duty diaper bag or a bag to use with their diaper bag for quick outings, I highly recommend the Ju Ju Be “Be Quick” Diaper Pouch.

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You Can’t Change Your Child’s Heart

Mar 5, 2012 by desiringvirtue

“The greatest need our children have is to be born again. our children’s salvation is based on nothing we do as parents. Their salvation is an issue that can only be settled between them and God. Although we are responsible before God to point our children to the Savior, it is God who touches their hearts.

For several years, I felt that if I diligently trained them in the Scriptures, it would ensure their coming to Christ. When my son was seven years old, I realized that I could quote all the right Scriptures for every sinful issue which which he struggled and I could make him comply in accordance with those Scriptures, but only God could reach his heart. You see, he became really good at providing lip service. I would instruct him and he would verbalize all the right words, but his expression said, ‘I’ve said what you want me to say, now get out of my face!’

It was during this period that God taught me to stop relying on my own abilities. I had to let go of trying to control his heart and let God work. It was a tough time. It seemed that there was an ocean of distance between us. I am thankful for that time because it brought me into a closer dependence upon God. I sought Him with all my heart and asked Him to restore our relationship and bring Wesley to a point where he would receive my instruction with the love with which it was intended.

God led me to do two things. First, to take time alone with Wesley at bedtime each night. To not be in a hurry. To not spend that time instructing, but to simply sit on his bed and just listen to anything that he chose to talk about. Second, to go back in his room each night before I went to bed and pray over him as he slept. My prayer each night was for God to touch his heart. And He did.” (Don’t Make Me Count to Three!)

This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife

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A Wonder Pet Birthday Cake Success!

Jan 9, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Yesterday we celebrated our little Elliot’s 3rd birthday. All he asked for was a Wonder Pets birthday cake, so of course, I had to make that happen. If you are not familiar with The Wonder Pets, let me fill you in. Day after day these little classroom pets spend their time saving baby animals who are in need of assistance. When the school children leave for the day, the Wonder Pets receive phone calls from helpless baby animals. Soon Linny, Tuck, and MingMing too, are off to save the day! Both of our boys love these helpful little animals, so I was racking my brain for a way to make a cake that would capture the “adventuresome” nature of these little characters (that wouldn’t include me, shaping and molding their little faces out of icing!).

I found this toy at Wal-mart, (also available on Amazon) that lights up and sings the show’s theme song. It was a perfect cake topper (as well as an additional present!). I decided to create a cake that provided a background for their “fly boat.” Blue buttercream icing dotted with puffy white clouds was a simple enough setting for their adventure to begin, as it always does, with them flying through the sky “on their way to save a baby animal.”

But wait, a Wonder Pet birthday cake can’t end there! It must contain a rainbow of course. Inspired by this cake, I decided to give this birthday cake a little something extra.

As Ming Ming would say, “This is serious!” The rainbow layers were simple enough. I used a yummy crumb cake recipe that starts off with white cake mix as a base. I then divided up the batter to dye it different colors and then bake. (Note: when making purple, start with blue, then add the red a little at a time. I had a panic moment when my “purple” turned out brown, but after adding more blue it turned out ok.)

Once the layers were cool, I layered them with white butter cream icing to give their color a little extra punch! This cake didn’t only look awesome, it tasted awesome as well. (Be forewarned if you create a cake like this, you will need to make a TON of icing. I think I went through almost six pounds of powdered sugar!) Let’s just say, it was YUMMY.

Here are some more pictures from our little Wonder Child’s birthday:

Happy Monday!

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Encouragement for a New Year of Homemaking

Jan 2, 2012 by desiringvirtue

These are the quotes at the top of my daily planner this year:

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:3-5 ESV)

“Mothers, the godly training of your offspring is your first and most pressing duty. Christian women, by teaching children the Holy Scriptures, are as much fulfilling their part for the Lord, as Moses in judging Israel, or Solomon in building the temple.” (Charles Spurgeon)

“Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is placed in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse into the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into its soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of the this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,-she would see that in all of God’s world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no other hands the sacred and holy trust given to her.” (J.R. Miller)

“The best way to make homemaking a joyous task is to offer it as unto the Lord; the only way to avoid the drudgery in such mundane tasks is to bathe the tasks with prayer and catch a vision of the divine challenge in making and nurturing a home.” (Dorothy Patterson)

“This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” (Elisabeth Elliot)

“It is a high honor for a woman to be chosen from among all womankind to be the wife of a good and true man. She is lifted up to be a crowned queen. Her husband’s manly love laid at her feet exalts her to the throne of his life. Great power is placed in her hands. Sacred destinies are reposed in her keeping. Will she wear her crown beneficently? Will she fill her realm with beauty and with blessing? Or will she fail in her holy trust? Only her married life can be the answer.” (J.R. Miller)

“What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word of faith from which the obedience and the work flow.” (Martin Luther)

Be encouraged. The work you do, if you do it for the Lord, has profound worth. For that reason it is imperative that you take it seriously and put forth every effort to do it well. Let’s seek the Lord’s grace for a year of intentional homemaking!

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A Thanksgiving Tree

Nov 21, 2011 by desiringvirtue

This year I “created” a Thanksgiving tree for our family to hang our thanks on. It was very easy and has already been a lot of fun. I was surprised by how quickly Elliot caught on to the idea of things you are thankful for. He had many things to add to the tree and I am sure as Thursday gets nearer more will come to mind. Two of the sweetest things he was thankful for were “Memaw and Papa’s house” (we are living with them for the time being) and for “Ashton” (the little girl we used to live next to). I was really impressed that he was able to come up with these things. It just proves that it is never too early to begin teaching big truths to little minds!

We don’t have any trees in our neighborhood so we went on a “bear hunt” at our local park and found many broken, dead branches to use. Then we simply stuck them in a vase and cut out some round cards from scrapbook paper. I am keeping a little cup with extras and a pen next to the tree so that we can all add to the tree as Thanksgiving gets closer.

Here is where I got my inspiration!

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When God Asks You For Your Isaac

Nov 9, 2011 by desiringvirtue

I could hear an audible sob from my husband, but couldn’t bear to look back at him. My eyes wouldn’t move from that computer screen, the screen projecting our lifeless baby girl. In grainy black and white we watched as the technician traced his mouse over her tiny, motionless heart. I struggled as tears fell from my eyes and my chest began to heave.

A baby girl.

How often I had hoped and dreamed of raising a daughter, a woman I could disciple in the ways of Biblical femininity, a little girl who’s hair I could braid and decorate with ribbon, a baby who would wear sun dresses in the summer and tights in the winter. But none of that mattered for those few minutes in that dark room. All that mattered was that she was dead, my little baby was dead.

Sleepless nights, hopeless days, blood shot eyes and puffy red faces: tokens of a sorrow running deep within our souls. And yet beneath the wavy, turbulent surface of our lives there rested a deep and abiding Spirit, a Comforter who anchored our faith.

“Will you give me your little girl?” I kept hearing those words over and over again.

With trembling lips and a frail countenance I offered her up to him as often as he asked; “Yes Lord, she is yours, I give her freely.”

Some wonder at our devotion to a God who would take something so precious from us, who would allow us so much hurt. Others look at us as spiritual giants who seem to possess such incredible faith. And all I can reply to both is, “How could we not love him? How could we not be completely devoted to the one who has given everything for us?”

If you truly met this Savior who loves his redeemed so deeply and serves them so faithfully, if you could see his blood stained brow, his nail pierced hands, his bleeding side, and you could hear him say he did it all for you, you too would give him everything, you would give him anything.

It is in these moments when I feel I can taste the devotion, wrought by the Spirit of God, tested by trials and upheld by his faithfullness, that Christian maturity longs for. It is at times like this that I can faintly taste the faith of our father Abraham, a man willing to do the unthinkable, because he trusted in the goodness of our God.

These most vulnerable of times, these most humble of moments seem to lift us to the highest of heights. We seem to almost feel God’s overwhelming presence. When our lives are stripped bare and we are left with Job’s bewildering poverty there is nothing to be seen but the fortitude of our faith, nothing but the grace of God bracing our frail spirits.

It seems that love is proven not in the heights of ecstasy, but in the pits of despair, when there seems to be no visible reason to give God our affections at all. Here in the pit of loss and longing our love is tested and tried. Here we are proven to be his beloved children, those who have been transformed by the inner working of the Holy Spirit, slowly being fashioned into the image of his Son.

And how brightly the Son shines in the darkness of despair. How lovely does he appear to his bride when she needs him the most, when she is shivering with grief. He, who cares so deeply for our every hurt, our every pain, carries us through such difficult times-times when our legs give way and we fear we will never again walk back into the light.

No, when he asked for my little girl, for my Anastasia, I couldn’t deny him. I could only thank him for the honor and blessing of carrying her for 17 weeks and then give back what was never truly mine to begin with.

When he asked me if I loved him, I could only respond with “How could I not?”

Linking this post up at: Time Warp Wife and Raising Homemakers

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It’s All Just Too Much

Oct 21, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Do you ever get overwhelmed by all of the awesomeness on the internet?

It used to be you would flip through a Good Housekeeping or Parenting magazine once a month, dog ear the projects you wanted to tackle, and then maybe get around to one of them before the next issue came out. Now we daily browse our beloved bookmarked blogs for the latest crafts, decorating advice, educational materials, spiritual encouragement, and parental vision (to name a few… oh yeah, and marital advice!).

Everyone has something to share, whether it is their latest whole food kick or their super awesome advice for “re-igniting” that flame between you and your husband. If you spend much time on the internet (and specifically around the women blogs, DV included) it can be easy to become overwhelmed by all the things you need to do to be a better you.

On a side note: Have you ever noticed that the man blogs out there are drastically different? You don’t see Albert Mohler talking about the Best Lawn Cutting Technique He Just Figured Out and Why You Should Try It Too, or Tim Challies blogging about his All Natural Hair Gel and Its Positive Effects on the Environment…

Sometimes I think we need to step back and decide what we are going to focus on. Are we going to be women who focus on all the “projects” we want to accomplish in a day or are we going to focus on the Risen Lord and serving his Kingdom for his glory? The two are not always mutually exclusive, but sometimes that list of bookmarked blogs can get in the way of hearing that still small voice of the Holy Spirit meant to refresh and inspire our inner being. We can miss what the Lord himself is calling us to do while browsing through what Simple Mom or Passionate Homemaking (two blogs I LOVE) are encouraging us to do (in five easy steps!).

Blog feeds.

Twitter feeds.

Facebook updates.

Delicious accounts.

Pins…. (Oh the many beautiful pins!)

Sometimes it is all too much.

Sometimes, many times, most times, we need less of the internet and more of the Lord himself influencing our day. Something tells me that if we spent as much time in prayer as we do pinning things and tweeting things, we would be much better homemakers, parents, wives, neighbors, evangelists, and church members. Have you ever compared the amount of time you spend on the internet being inspired with the amount of time you spend on your knees begging the Lord to shape and mold your day? He is the one with the real power to change you, to accomplish his glorious will in your life, to create the servant’s heart you desire, and yet he is the one we most often neglect. We are more often directed by what our favorite blogs put before us than what the Holy Spirit is prompting us to do.

God doesn’t have a pretty home page decorated with delicate flowers and victorian beauties, but unlike another “How To” article he offers soul-satisfying, peace-inducing, life-altering communion that will leave you feeling complete rather than burdened.

The internet is a gift filled with good things. Let us be careful to not choose the good things above the best thing.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

(Matthew 6:25-32; Matthew 6:33 ESV)

But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

(Matthew 22:34-36; Matthew 22:37-39 ESV)

Surely the best homemakers (those with the most lasting spiritual impact on those around them) are those who spend the most time on their knees seeking the Lord’s direction for their homes and not scouring the internet for Five More Steps to a More Peaceful Family Life.

Let’s be those homemakers, women who love the Lord above all else and desire his Spirit to guide and direct our days.

“One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time.” (John Piper)

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Reading Little Stories

Oct 13, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Before I was even married I used to walked blissfully through the children’s section of Barnes and Noble dreaming of the day I would buy my own children such marvelously illustrated and poetically worded books. I couldn’t wait to have a “reason” to fill up my shopping cart with these delicious little works of art. Now that I have little ones in my home it is a joy to be able to fill up my Amazon shopping cart and anxiously wait for our package of fun to arrive in the mail!

Both of our little boys love to be read to and it is such a privilege to be their mommy, the voice of all their favorite characters. What a joy it is to watch their minds grow and their passion for stories come alive!

A love for reading is one characteristic I hope to impart to my children. Though their library is limited as of now to Dr. Suess, Eric Carle, Baby Einstein and such I know that the minutes, hours, and days we spend with our noses in books will one day open the door to Spurgeon, Piper, J.C. Ryle, and the like.

These little books, read over and over, smudged, bent, and torn will be remembered with fondness and hopefully spur on a love for the written word.

So what are our little readers absorbed in these days? What are the hits that keep being pulled out over and over again? Here are the Hutto boy’s top 10:

1. Chugga-Chugga Choo-Choo by Kevin Lewis

2. Hop on Pop by Dr. Suess

3. Brown Bear, Brown Bear , What Do You See? by Eric Carle

4. Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown

5. Hand Hand Fingers Thumb, by Al Perkins

6. Blue Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton

7. There’s a Wocket in My Pocket by Dr. Suess

8. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (Lap Edition!) by Jr. Bill Martin

9. Snuggle Puppy by Sandra Boynton

10. The Going to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton

What books are your little ones obsessed with? Do they favor the “classics” or the newer books available?

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Out of the Land of Hurry (A Tale for Moms)

Oct 11, 2011 by Becky

Time runs incessantly by like a waterfall, violently. Clock and Watch seem to have the power over the days of men, they are such cruel rulers. The Sun and the Moon are no longer the Masters of the biological clock of the people in the Land of Hurry. Tic Toc; Tic Toc is the sound that can be heard all over the land, no time for listening to the birds’ song or watching squirrels, or kissing longer, or hugging tighter. Moms run from here and there, tirelessly, dragging feet and children. Dads go and go and go….

- But wait!

- Wait? Who dares to say THAT word in this Land of Hurry?

- It is me, Quiet-Slow-Mom

- Are you talking to me? Sorry… I don’t have time to stay, I have to go. So many things in my list. I just can’t wait!

- Wait, please. Please, listen to me…

For some strange reason Rushing-Busy-Mom always in a hurry stopped. For the first time in months she stopped and even felt her heart pumping blood through her body, and without even thinking stared for a moment at a few small beautiful flowers beside the road, and felt her little daughter’s hand holding hers.

Quiet-Slow-Mom said,

-I used to walk like you, enslaved by the cruel Clock and like you, I loved to be running all day. It made me feel… so… productive. Yes, I felt more important if I could handle more things than I wanted to do. I murmured a tiny prayer whenever I had time and sometimes I read a Bible verse that had been on my fridge for years. Yes, I had the same endless excuses, the little ones, the laundry, the money, the husband, the Bible study, the bills, the gym, the so longed for “Time-For-Me”, who, by the way, is the most shrewd deceiver around Moms. But one day I stopped… well actually , He made stop…

-He? I barely remember any of His Words… It has been so long…I hadn’t have time.

- Yes, He made me stop; the Owner of My Days; the One who fixed the Sun and Moon in place to give us a day to work and a night to rest. He spoke clearly to me, I remember well. It was one day when he opened my ears to hear my voice, my dialog. I was scared. The two words that my children were listening from me all day long were terrifying: Hurry Up!

Rushing-Busy-Mom had a lump in her throat and a tear made of minuscule particles of wasted time, rolled down from her cheek.

Quiet-Slow-Mom kept on saying,

- When I realized how many times I had spoken those words I broke into pieces. I knew in that moment that those words I kept saying all day, all days were exactly the opposite of what my heart longed for… I did not want to rush the hours, I did not want to make the time pass by so quickly, I did not want to hurry the moments… O Beautiful Moments that were disappearing without no one noticing them, and I just let them go by while Clock and Watch observed, and they laughed at me.

Rushing-Busy-Mom sat on the grass, and held her baby girl in her arms who was now sleeping. She took her tiny hands and took a moment to see how much her hands had grown and how beautiful her hair was. The rays of the Sun were particularly beautiful that day… or so they seemed. She looked at Quiet-Slow-Mom and whispered to her…

- Do you think it is possible, really possible, to stop living under the cruel, rude, and powerful dominion of Clock and Watch? Is there a way out of the Land of Hurry?

- Yes, there is a way out of the Land of Hurry. It is that tiny door over there; it is just like the Door to Paradise which is narrow; it is a door through which you must enter on your knees, face down, with a contrite spirit… slowly, very slowly. You must leave behind all that doesn’t matter and walk through it humbly. When you hear the Owner of Time, the One who holds the days of mankind in the palm of His hand calling you, do not hesitate and walk through it. He will teach you to number your days; He will teach you to live wisely in the Land. He will help you to kiss longer and hug tighter, and slow down to play and read a book. He will renew your strength every day with the power of His Word; when You come to meet Him early in the mornings you will find out how to live in this frame of time, serving Him and not Clock or Watch. You will find rest under His shadow and peace under His wings. You will soon find yourself loving more, smiling more, baking more, making love more… It is when we stop and deliberately seek Him that Time stops ruling our days and we start living, fully living under His sun and by His grace…

Becky is a Mexican living in one of the most crowded cities in the world, Mexico City. She has been happily married to an incredible man for almost 20 years. They have four children and have homeschooled them following the Classical Christian Education model. Their oldest son is a sophmore in College and their youngest is a 7 years old girl. Becky grew in a typical Evangelical church, but after much prayer from her Dad and reading A.W Pink’s book entitled God’s Sovereignity she came to love the Reformed faith. Becky enjoys the big books and the small books, she loves to study God’s word and read mostly, from dead authors, like the Puritans. She says that her real education began when she started homeschooling her children. She currently teaches Spanish at Veritas Press Scholars; loves to take out her watercolors on a sunny Saturday and paint, and you will always see her with her camera ready to capture the simple everyday moments that make up her days. She loves to bake muffins for her family on Saturdays while they are still asleep, so they wake up to the sweet smell of home. You can find Becky on her main blog Daily On My Way to Heaven; on her photography blog, My Daily Journey-through my lens- and on her Spanish blog, Delicias A Tu Diestra Para Siempre.

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God’s Precious Gifts

Aug 10, 2011 by desiringvirtue

From Stepping Heavenward:

We are at a farmhouse; everything is plain but neat and nice. I asked Mrs. Brown, our hostess, the other day if she did not envy me my four little pets; she smiled, said they were the best children she ever saw, and that it was well to have a family if you have means to start them in the world. For her part, she lived from hand to mouth, as it was, and was sure she could never stand the worry and care of a house full of young ones.

“But the worry and care is only half the story, ” I said. “The other half is pure joy and delight.”

“Perhaps so to people that are well-to-do,” she replied; “but to poor folks, driven to death as we are, it’s another thing. I was telling my husband yesterday what a mercy it was there weren’t any young ones round under my feet, and I could take city boarders and help work off the mortgage on the farm.”

“And what did you husband say to that?”

“Well, he said we were young and hearty, and there was no such tearing hurry about the mortgage, and that he’d give his right hand to have a couple boys like yours.”

“Well?”

“Why, I said supposing we had a couple of boys, they wouldn’t be like yours, dressed to look genteel and to have their genteel ways, but a pair of wild colts, into everything, tearing their clothes off their backs, and wasting faster than we could earn. He said ’twasn’t the clothes, ’twasn the flesh and blood he wanted, and ’twasn’t no use to argufy about it; a man that hand’t got any children wasn’t mor’n half a man. ‘Well, ‘ Says I, ‘supposing you had a pack of ‘em, what have you got to give ‘em?’ ‘Jest exactly what my father and mother gave me,’ says he; ‘two hands to earn their bread with and a welcome you could have heard from Dan to Beersheba.’”

“I like to hear that!” I said. “And I hope many such welcomes will resound in this house. Suppose money does come in while little goes out; suppose you get possession of the whole farm; what then? Who will enjoy it with you? Who will you leave it to when you die? And in your old age, who will care for you?”

“You seem awful earnest,” she said.

“Yes, I am in earnest. I want to see little children adorning every home as flowers adorn every meadow and every wayside. I want to see them welcomed to the homes they enter, to see their parents grow less and less selfish and more and more loving because they have come. I want to see God’s precious gifts accepted, not frowned upon and refused.”

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“How Rich I Am”

Jul 25, 2011 by desiringvirtue

“I celebrate my little Una’s third birthday by presenting her with a new brother. Both the children welcomed him with delight that was of itself compensation enough for all it cost me to get up such a celebration. Martha takes a most prosaic view of this proceeding, in which she detects malice prepense on my part. She says I shall now have one mouth the more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing.

Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worth all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ’s name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome in your mother’s heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!” (Kate Mortimer’s thoughts regarding her children in Stepping Heavenward)

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The Law’s Role in Grace Parenting

Jul 8, 2011 by desiringvirtue

“People frequently ask if I expected my children to become believers. I usually reply that the gospel is powerful and attractive. It uniquely meets the needs of fallen humanity. Therefore, I expected that God’s Word would be the power of God to salvation for my children, But that expectation was based on the power of the gospel and its suitability to human need, not on a correct formula for producing children who believe.

The central focus of parenting is the gospel. You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts. You need to show them not just the “what ” of their sin and failure, but the “why.” Your children desperately need to understand not only the external “what” they did wrong, but also the internal “why” they did it. You must help them see that God works from the inside out. Therefore, your parenting goal cannot simply be well-behaved children. your children must also understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change.

Parents sometimes give children a keepable standard. Parents think that if there children aren’t Christians, they can’t obey God from the heart anyway. For example, the Bible says to do good to whose who mistreat you. But when children are bullied in the school yard, parents tell them to ignore the bully. Or worse, parents tell them to hit others when they are hit first.

This non-biblical counsel drives children away from the cross. It doesn’t take grace from God to ignore the oppressor. It doesn’t take supernatural grace to stand up for your rights. To do good to oppressors, however, to pray for those who mistreat you, to entrust yourself to the just Judge, requires a child to come fact-to-face with the poverty of his own spirit and his need of the transforming power of the gospel.

The law of God is not easy for natural man. Its standard is high and cannot be achieved apart from God’s supernatural grace. God’s law teaches us our need of grace. When you fail to hold out God’s standard, you rob your children of the mercy of the gospel.” (Shepherding a Child’s Heart, Tedd Tripp)

You may also want to read: Gospel Parenting… Old, But New

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Nursing Days (What to Wear)

Jun 22, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Let me begin by getting a simple truth out there: breastfeeding is hard. Can I get some “Amens!”? It requires time, energy, commitment, and so much more. (Notice the very large mocha frappe I’m holding?)

Nursing your children is a marvelous way to lavish sacrificial love on them. It is natural. It is beautiful.

But sometimes it doesn’t feel very natural and sometimes it doesn’t feel very beautiful.

I nursed Elliot for 6 months and Hudson for almost 8. I am hoping that our next baby will make it to the coveted 1 year marker, but know that a whole year is a lot harder than the magazines and books lead you to believe!

Now that I am no longer nursing my sweet little Hudson, I thought I would share my favorite and most helpful breastfeeding items. These are all items that I have worn and loved. They are items that made breast feeding easier and more enjoyable.

The Bra

At the heart of breast feeding is a great nursing bra. I have tried a lot of nursing bras from Walmart, Target, Gap Maternity, to online companies. By far, my favorite nursing bra out there is made by a company called Bravado!. While it is true that Bravado! is not the cheapest option out there, the quality just can’t be beat.

These bras are comfortable and well made. I will introduce you to the two that I have used:

1. Bravado! Seamless Nursing Bra. This bra is SO comfortable. It was my pajama bra… and sometimes daily bra. It is wireless, so it may not have the support you desire for every day use, but the comfort is well worth the cost. Trust me.

Something unique to this nursing bra is that it has removable foam lining in each cup. They are like small shields that you can insert (or take out) to keep your nursing pads from showing through to your shirt. I never used them, but many of the people who reviewed this bra on Amazon really loved them.

2. Bravado! Women’s Allure Underwire Nursing Bra. This is the nursing bra that doesn’t look like a nursing bra. It gives you that little “pretty” under your clothes that you start to miss when you are nursing. It offers great support and helps to hide those lines caused by your nursing pads. This is because the material of the cup is an interesting nylon blend that acts as a barrier between your nursing pads and shirt. The great thing about this material is that, though it is thicker, it doesn’t lose its shape or get odd wrinkles after you fold it down (to nurse) many, many, many times.

The Tank

I was once told that layering is the key to modest/comfortable nursing. This is so true. Wearing a tank top under your shirt can give you that tummy coverage you desire while still providing easy access for your little one. The only down side to wearing a nursing tank under your shirt is that you are then face with twice the amount of “buckles/clips” to undo and then redo every nursing session. First comes the tank, then comes the bra and before you know it, you have forgotten the bra clip and you’re walking around looking like you have a strange growth coming out of your chest!

I was so happy to find a nursing tank that would actually serve as a bra and tank top without giving me that uniboob action that most shelf-bra tank tops produce! Of course it was created by Bravado! (One of my all time favorite companies as you can see). This tank is designed to give you the convenience of a nursing tank with the support of a bra.

This tank can also be a very comfortable and convenient sleep shirt (giving you the freedom of not wearing a nursing bra to bed. I found myself wearing my Bravado! Essential Nursing Bra Tank over and over again, and still occasionally don it due to its comfort factor.

*I do not recommend wearing this tank on its own in public or with the bust exposed as it is rather immodest and serves better underneath a complete shirt.

The Nightgown

When it comes to nursing at night, you want to make the task as easy and quick as possible. This is where my favorite nursing nightgown comes in. It is made by Eve Alexander and has a couple advantages over other nightgowns on the market.

The most important quality about this nightgown is the fact that it actually keeps you all contained throughout the night. The construction of the bodice provides easy no-clip access while keeping you from “falling out” throughout the night. Another nightgown that I bought which was similar to this one was not helpful in this manner. Throughout the night I would have to “readjust” which interrupted the little sleep I should have been getting.

I can’t tell you how much I LOVED not having to deal with a buckle/clip in the middle of the night to nurse. With this nightgown all you have to do is slide over one side of your bodice and you are ready to nurse. Because this nightgown keeps everything “in place” you can actually go without a nursing bra altogether and simply attach your nursing pads to the inside of your gown.

This nightgown is made out of a thin material that gets really soft after only a few washes. I will admit it is not the most fashionable nightgown out there, and if you wear your nursing pads directly under the gown they will show through. For this reason I typically wore a light robe over mine before bed time or wore a bra under it until I actually went to sleep. The nightgown is just so incredibly comfortable and convenient that fashion took a back seat on this one!

The Nursing Pad

Traditional:

Oh nursing pads… how I despise thee! Disposable nursing pads are expensive and a pain, but the protection they offer compared to cloth pads is not even worth comparing. That being said, some disposables are better than others and it really stinks to end up with a big box of nursing pads that create an embarrassing ring around your nipple when worn under clothing! While no disposable nursing pad is perfect I have found that there is one that stands out among the rest and it is made by Lansinoh. They are very thin and slightly curved so that it doesn’t look like you are wearing a coaster under your bra. They also have a nice adhesive strip to keep them secure during nursing sessions.

Something Different:

A product that I really enjoyed using was LilyPadz. This product works differently than the traditional nursing pad. Rather than absorb the milk your breasts let out throughout the day these pads keep any milk from coming out at all (if applied correctly). While I do not recommend using these on a day to day basis, they can be really helpful for times when you can’t wear disposable nursing pads. Situations that Lilypadz might come in handy would include under a swim suit, an evening gown, under a negligee, etc.. Basically any time you don’t want to be constrained by the bulkiness of a disposable nursing pad! They work really well and give you a little bit of freedom every once in a while.

The reason I don’t recommend using them in substitute of the more traditional pads is because my skin tended to get very dry when I would wear them for days at a time. For one day or one night every once in a while these are well worth the cost. Each set will last for about a month and even more if your usage is sporadic.

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Thinking as Christians so that We Can Speak as Christians

Jun 21, 2011 by Becky

I am so pleased and honored to introduce you to a new contributor to Desiring Virtue, Becky Pliego. I first stumbled on her blog, Daily On My Way To Heaven, when she hosted a series called, Doctrines in the Kitchen, where she and other authors went through various Christian doctrines and their application to our everyday lives. I immediately knew she was someone I wanted to get to grow closer to! Now I have the incredible honor of welcoming her to this blog. Please enjoy her lovely words of wisdom and truly contemplate how your thoughts effect your words.

Being a Christian means thinking as a Christian.

Has this simple truth ever occurred to you before?

If we call ourselves Christians we should have Christian thoughts.

I began really meditating on this simple truth while memorizing Philippians at the beginning of the year. When the Spirit gives us new life, he gives us the power and desire to think like our Lord Jesus Christ.

In Philippians 4:8 Paul tells us what kind of thoughts a Christian should cultivate:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8 ESV)

Do you realize what kind of impact these thoughts can have on our lives? Consider these words from Jesus:

“…For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.” (Matthew 12:34-35 ESV)

As we cultivate the kind of thought life Paul is talking about through the power of the Holy Spirit, we will begin to speak differently as well! Whatever we think, whatever is in us, whatever abounds in us, is what finally comes out of our mouths.

My friends, I too sin with my words. I too, am prone to say the wrong things, words that hurt and don’t bless. I too have said, “It just slipped out of my mouth, I didn’t think about what I was saying.”

But I have also seen that the more I meditate on the Word, and the more I think on the things Paul encourages the Philippians to think on, something amazing happens. As my thoughts look less and less worldly, I find myself saying things that bless and edify those I am talking to, starting with my husband and dear children.

Have you ever considered what kind of thoughts fill your mind? What thoughts do you entertain throughout the day? Take some time to pray about it. Ask the Lord to search your heart and mind. Ask him to reveal any worldly thoughts that lurk there.

Maybe you will see what I have seen: The thoughts we think affect the words we speak.

Do you spend all day while your husband is at work thinking about all the things he doesn’t do for you, or all the things he still needs to fix around the house, or all the flowers you are sure you deserve but he hasn’t sent? If so, I am sure the words that greet him at the door when he arrives home are not sweet as honey, but are bitter and unloving. This same cycle can effect the words you speak to your children. What do you think about them? How do you talk to them?

Listen to your dialogue for a day: your conversations on the phone, on Facebook, with your neighbor, or at the coffee shop with your closest friend. Listen to the way you speak to your husband and to your children. By simply listening to the words that come out of your mouth, you can accurately diagnose the condition of your thought life.

Dear sisters, let us strive to have the mind of Christ. Let us think on Godly things and on God’s precious Word. If we do this, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we will be surprised by what blessings flow out of our mouths.

Becky is a Mexican living in one of the most crowded cities in the world, Mexico City. She has been happily married to an incredible man for almost 20 years. They have four children and have homeschooled them following the Classical Christian Education model. Their oldest son is a sophmore in College and their youngest is a 7 years old girl. Becky grew in a typical Evangelical church, but after much prayer from her Dad and reading A.W Pink’s book entitled God’s Sovereignity she came to love the Reformed faith. Becky enjoys the big books and the small books, she loves to study God’s word and read mostly, from dead authors, like the Puritans. She says that her real education began when she started homeschooling her children. She currently teaches Spanish at Veritas Press Scholars; loves to take out her watercolors on a sunny Saturday and paint, and you will always see her with her camera ready to capture the simple everyday moments that make up her days. She loves to bake muffins for her family on Saturdays while they are still asleep, so they wake up to the sweet smell of home. You can find Becky on her main blog Daily On My Way to Heaven; on her photography blog, My Daily Journey-through my lens- and on her Spanish blog, Delicias A Tu Diestra Para Siempre.

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Gospel Parenting… Old, But New

Jun 15, 2011 by desiringvirtue

“We need much less of Veggie Tales and Barney and tons more of the radical, bloody, scandalous message of God made man and crushed by his Father for our sin.” (Give Them Grace)

I am going to start this review out a little differently than most. I am going to admit that I was initially reluctant to read this book. I mean, I was both excited and suspicious of it all at once if you can imagine that. Things were being said like, “It is the best parenting book ever written!” and “This book is the parenting book that all others will be compared to!”. In my mind I couldn’t help but think, this is some pretty high praise! It seemed as though people were claiming that the pages of Give Them Grace held some new, overlooked, and incredible parenting truth that hadn’t been tapped before.

Old but New

The truth is there is nothing new in the pages of Give Them Grace. In fact it simply reiterates a very, very old message: the gospel message. Surprisingly enough the gospel message is the new, overlooked, and incredible parenting truth that makes Give Them Grace such an important resource for parents (and ultimately for every other person who picks it up!).

It is a sad fact that this book is desperately needed in the church today. It is a sad truth that this book was desperately needed in my life today. It is a glorious truth that the message within its pages is able to transform and elevate our parenting to heights only God can foresee.

Parenting in Grace

In this book, Elyse Fitzpatrick and daughter Jessica Thompson often refer to two different types of parents. The first is the parent who is overwhelmed by the burden and weight of parenthood and the effect of every one of their failings on their children’s souls. The other parent is the parent who is somewhat confident in their parenting and their “methods” believing that if they simply do X, Y, and Z God will keep his end of the bargain and bless them with God-fearing offspring. Both of these parents need the gospel for themselves and both of them need the gospel for their parenting because both of them are relying on their own ability, rather than the grace of God for their children’s salvation.

This is where I began to awaken to my need for this book. I hadn’t realized before how much I was relying on my own strength to parent my children. Without knowing it I had been assuming or at least hoping that my efforts would not go unnoticed by my Savior and that he would reward me for all my hard work… as though my hard work were worth anything in heavenly currency! It is a funny paradox, but my adherence to the Biblical guidelines for parenting and my personal testimony to my children had become unholy bargaining chips with the Ruler of the Universe. This is a message that all of us need to hear, not just parents: our works are worthless, it is Christ who saves, Christ who transforms, Christ who accomplishes. God has a plan for each of my children, he will use me in that plan yes, but nothing I do or don’t do will thwart his plan. This call to yield to the grace of God in our children’s lives is reminiscent of Paul’s exhortation to the Corinthians when they were tempted to put too much stock in their spiritual leaders:

So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God’s fellow workers. You are God’s field, God’s building.(1 Corinthians 3:7-9 ESV)

This is one of the key themes of the book, but as the title suggests raising our children in an atmosphere of gospel grace is the primary focus.

An Atmosphere of Grace

Elyse and Jessica begin, continue, and end with one premise throughout their book: our children (and ultimately us as well) do not need more law, we need more grace. They put forth the observation that most of what we call Christian parenting these days is in fact parenting under the law rather than under grace. The temptation to be law givers instead of grace givers is at the core of our natural idolatrous hearts:

“…every human heart is always and ever drawn to law. In the same way that iron filings follow a magnet, our hearts chase after rules-not because we ever really obey them but because we think they make life manageable. Rules elevate us to the position of lawgiver; they help us avoid the humiliation of prostrating ourselves before a bloody, despicable cross. We love to try to approve of ourselves and control others by generating more and more rules. ‘Our desire to please God, combined with human bent to prove our acceptance by comparison with and the control of others, makes us factories of human legislation.’” (Give Them Grace)

As Christians it is our goal to put Christ and his gospel at the center of every aspect of our lives and yet the thing Elyse and Jessica seem to want us to get more than anything is that we have missed it in our parenting. How can this be?

This is what I think it boils down to: We have been taught that good Christian parents teach their children how to be obedient (reflecting our obedience of God) and then when they disobey (just as we disobey God) we discipline them (just as we are disciplined by God) and then, on our best days, we share the gospel story with them reminding them that if they believe in Jesus he paid the price for their sins and they will never again have to suffer for them. In a gospel saturated home Elyse and Jessica propose that this is not enough. All of this is true, but there is one important piece of the puzzle that is missing, you named it-grace.

The temptation for children in this daily cycle of comparing themselves to the law is to see themselves as either good or bad children. The bad children, those who are always sinning, always being disciplined, are tempted to think that the gospel isn’t for them, that they aren’t good enough for the gospel or for God. The good children, on the other hand, those who find it easier to obey, are tempted to see themselves as good, earning the favor of God, and unknowingly without a need for a Savior. Both children live in perilous states of mind because they are not able to apply the gospel to their little hearts. One needs to see that the gospel is indeed for sinners and the other needs to see that each of us are sinners and are hopeless without the grace of God.

In a family where God’s grace is a living, breathing, reality (not just a piece of head knowledge) a parent would indeed call their child to obedience, after all the law is meant to show us our sin, but they would do so fully aware of their children’s inability to obey. When their children fail, and of course they will, we are to remind them that it is because of their sinful nature that they failed and that this is exactly why Jesus had to die on the cross- to pay for our sin and to liberate us from the power of sin. We should not be shocked when our children sin, but instead should identify with them and their need for a Savior in those moments. Our lips must be bursting forth with praise for the power we have to overcome sin through Jesus Christ. What Jessica and Elyse are encouraging us to do is to take the focus off of our children’s ability to obey and put it on Christ’s power to obey for them and to help them to see this glorious truth as well.

So where does discipline fit into this picture? This is an area I wish they had fleshed out a little more, though they did commit an entire chapter to it. Physical discipline is affirmed as Biblical and indeed necessary, but a very important point is made in this book: Though God does use the rod to drive foolishness from the heart of a child, the gospel is the only means by which your child will be saved. Foolishness can be driven out of a Muslim child’s heart by the rod just as easily as foolishness in a Christian child’s heart can. What makes our discipline life giving and Christ exalting is the message of God’s grace that motivates and surrounds it. It is the grace of God that will transform our children’s hearts, not spanking them. If we spank our children into submission, we may end up with very well behaved children who believe themselves to be good and without the need of a Savior. Though physical discipline is a useful and God ordained tool to train our children, it is not the tool that God uses to transform our children. That work must be left to the Holy Spirit and the grace of God. You may be thinking, of course I understand this! But the importance of this point is not the knowledge, but the application. It can be easy to think that we are doing well in our parenting as our children get more and more obedient, as we assume they are becoming more and more godly, when in reality they may simply be becoming greater hypocrites.

“You are Such a Good Boy! … or are you?”

The implications of Gospel saturated parenting are so far reaching that it can be overwhelming to try to reorient yourself. Elyse and Jessica liken it to a scary amusement park ride where your greatest fear is your utter lack of control. Learning to distance ourselves and our children from a works based relationship with God is harder than you might think. One great example given in the book is the common expression “You are such a good boy!”. Well is he really? Because the Bible says that no one is good, only God is good. In fact, even our good deeds are like filthy rags! Obviously we are not trying to tell our children that they are holy when we say such a thing, but the underlying message we are sending them is that they can be good by doing good things rather than trusting in the only Good One who did the good things for them! A more Biblical responce to your child’s “good” behavior would be to say something along the lines of, “That was a very good thing you did Elliot, I am so thankful that God gave you the grace to do it!” This might seem like an unnessesary change, but it makes a world of difference in what you are teaching your child. In this second interaction your child is learning that what he did was indeed good, but that it was the power of God that allowed him to do it.

This is the reason why I believe this book to be so important: because living a gospel driven life affects every aspect of our lives (including our speech). How important is it that we live our lives aware of our very real need for God’s grace and the God who delights to shed it on us? How important is it that we teach our children how great their need is for God’s grace and the abundance of grace available to them as well? There is no greater task that we can set ourselves to!

This book is like a whirlwind of pure unadulterated gospel, whipping up the sea of works-based parenting that has long saturated the Christian community. It is a glimpse into a way of parenting that is distinctly and honestly Christian. This is the atmosphere I want my children to grow up in. I want them to know that they are sinners, that I am a sinner, and that we have a great and mighty Savior who loved us so much that he lived a life of perfect obedience so that we too could obey, who died a horrific death so that we would never have to die, and who rose from the grave so that we too could rise with him for all of eternity!

Thank you Elyse and Jessica for stirring up a renewed vision for what it means to be a Christian mommy!

This amazing book is being offered in a giveaway that ends Thursday night, make sure to enter for your chance to win Give Them Grace!

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Toddler Tip: The Value of a Bendy Straw

Jun 8, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Packing a sippy cup every time you go out can be a bother especially when you have another littler little who needs you to pack his bottle at all times. Recently we have been forgoing the sippy cup all together and simply asking for a lidded children’s cup of water when we are eating out at restaurants. While our toddler can hold these cups just fine he often needs help keeping them upright as he tries to navigate the long straw. The solution? Simply pack some bendy straws in your diaper bag to avoid unnesessary spills and keep your diaper bag’s weight to a minimum.

Reader’s Tip: Dalila suggests using a travel toothbrush holder to keep them clean and unbroken.

Photo Credit

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Common Temptations and Christ’s Uncommon Grace

May 17, 2011 by desiringvirtue

I had just prepared lunch for my two angelic babes. Their plates/high chair trays were boasting the most glorious golden brown grilled cheese sandwiches this side of the nearest Sonic. To top it off they each had some healthy chicken and vegetable soup to explore and consume! I was feeling good about the feast I was about to offer them and the excellent mommy I was for making sure their meals were “well rounded”.

Then the time came for us to sit down and enjoy the fruit of my labor… and neither child had any intention of eating their gourmet grilled cheese or Campbell’s chunky chicken and vegetable soup. Apparently they had both decided that today they didn’t care for such time tested classics. The grilled cheese my son usually devours was now being bitten into and spit back out. His soup was becoming a mucky bowl of duck food; sopping bread absorbing the yummy broth. His younger brother chose not to engage at all, but instead let his feelings be known through that terribly sad cry that eats at my bones and crawls up my back… generally keeping me from enjoying my gourmet grilled cheese sandwich.

As my older son took one last “bite” and proceeded to once again spit it out I could feel it coming, that urge, that desire, that anger.

And then the Holy Spirit breathing inside me spoke oh so clearly the encouragment my soul needed:

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV)

My mind laughed as it thought of the countless mothers I have watched go through the same exact situation with their young children. Surely every mother has experienced the aggravation of a child refusing to eat. Surely they too have felt the temptation to anger just as I was in that very moment.

Yes, this was a common temptation.

In these situations, the all too familiar, flesh burning situations that so naturally lead to sin it is easy to break and give in. It is so easy to not see a way of escape, to only see the anger or the hurt or the frustration.

But I have an uncommon grace.

I have the grace of God in my life that gives me the power to overcome the temptation and endure it. I have a multitude of grace stored up for me, ready to use if I will just access it in these times. I can choose to fight the battle against the flesh and I can be victorious. My spirit has been freed from helpless compliance to sin and given the ability to walk in the light even as He is in the light through the power of the cross! All I have to do is choose to obey by stepping out of the easy rut of sin and onto the path of righteousness with my Savior. It takes way more power to walk with him, but that power was purchased for me through his heroic death and resurrection. It is his power that will give me victory and he offers it freely.

So what are you struggling with today? What is your “grilled cheese” moment? It might be between you and your husband, you and your job, you and your grocery store… no matter what the temptation is the Bible assures us that it is very common and easily overcome with Christ’s uncommon grace. Let’s access that grace and choose to overcome for his glory and our good!

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.” (2 Peter 1:3-4 ESV)

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Joy

May 9, 2011 by desiringvirtue

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What is Perfect?

May 5, 2011 by desiringvirtue

It’s past his bedtime and approaching mine. I slip under my covers exhausted from the day, looking over at his tiny bed just a couple feet away. Unfortunately it doesn’t look like he has any intention of falling asleep. If only his bed wasn’t right next to mine, if only he had his own room, if only he would go to sleep, if only…

His little head bobs up and he begins throwing me kisses, one after another, the good kind that come with the puckered lip sound. His smile beams from cheek to cheek and I can’t help but return the giggles he sends my way as the barrage of kisses keep coming.

I can’t help but think… this is perfect.

What is something that isn’t exactly ideal in your life, but something that brings you much joy?

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Fun Easter Printables

Apr 6, 2011 by desiringvirtue

I’m trying to be more proactive this year with our Easter celebration. It seems like between Christmas and Easter, Easter usually gets the least amount of preparation from me. I love to read soul stirring books or sermons that lead me to the cross during this special time, but in the way of physical preparation for my family, I am a bit lame. It always seems to just sneak up on me and I am left wishing I had done more to celebrate Christ’s victory over the grave. So, in the spirit of trying to be more on top of things… I thought I would share a couple of the things I am cooking up.

New Clothes Tags

In yesterday’s Easter Traditions post, I briefly mentioned that new clothes can be a symbol of the new life that we receive in Christ. Just as we “put on” the new self every day of our Christian lives, we will be putting on fresh, clean, new garments on Easter morning. In order to make this a tangible illustration, I made these Clothes Tags to hang over our new clothes’ hangers. As our children grow I hope that it will be a simple, yet constant reminder of the righteousness that covers us through our Savior.

Our Sweet God Egg Fillers

I also created some “Egg Filler” verses that refer to God’s goodness. Often the Bible speaks of God’s goodness in tangible ways that we can easily understand such as comparing Him to the taste of honey or a sweet scent. I’m not going to waste the opportunity that candy filled eggs present to the spiritual formation of my little guys. Instead I am going to use that sweet, delicious candy as an object lesson about the God who is infinitely satisfying. I am planning on filling most of the eggs with little trinkets and coins, but then have some that have CANDY in them (my kids don’t get a lot of candy on a regular basis… ok, Hudson doesn’t get any, so this is a real treat!). The eggs with candy will also contain these verses that compare God to sweet things. This will be a wonderful reminder that as wonderful as candy is, God himself is what satisfies our hungry souls.

I know that these ideas might be concidered pointless or silly, but my desire is for our Easter to be filled with as many reminders of Christ’s magnificent work on the cross as possible. These are a couple of simple and fun ways I can help to focus our minds on our Lord. Plus they are really cute!

I uploaded these printables to Scribd, in case you felt so inclined as to use them in your own family. Make sure to share your fun ideas for celebrating the resurrection of our King!

Your Printables:

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When Peaple Say Things…

Mar 16, 2011 by desiringvirtue

…when you are about to get married:

“It’s good that you are getting married so young, that way you can get the practice marriage out of the way!”

…shortly after you get married:

“If you are still together after three years you can be confident in your marriage.”

…when you tell people how many kids you want to have:

“We’ll see how you feel after the first one!”

…also shortly after you get married:

“Don’t rush to have kids, enjoy your time without responsibilities!”

…when someone finds out you want to be a stay-at-home mom:

“You will regret it. It is a lonely life that will make you will feel trapped.”

…after you have had a couple wonderful children and talk about wanting more:

“Not for a while I hope!”

…when your kids are sick and you have had a really long day:

“And how many did you say you want to have?!”

…Just Breath

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

People say things. Each of these things have been said to either Richard or I, some of them were said by family members. I am sure that you can think of instances in your own life when people have said things they just shouldn’t have said. On the outside you maintain a pleasant demeanor, but on the inside you are either crying or fuming.

How do you respond to such crushing words? How should you respond? Do you let them discourage you? Do you let them plant bitter seeds in your heart toward that person?

Let me encourage you with these thoughts:

1. Always assume the best.

This is part of the “believes all things, hopes all things” of the 1 Corinthian love described above. Try not to assume that they mean to hurt you or attack your theological position regarding your family life. Maybe they thought they were being helpful in their remark or simply didn’t realize their words would be hurtful. We are all humans and all make mistakes in our speech. Perhaps this is just one of those times that this person made a mistake, maybe they wish they could take it back.

For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. (James 3:2 ESV)

2. Forgive.

Sometimes people do mean what they say. Sometimes they believe your choices to be irresponsible or ridiculous. Sometimes their words are just too crushing to see good in. In those instances, you must simply forgive them. You must remember how great your offenses are to the Lord and how much you have been forgiven, then forgive the small sin they committed against you.

but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:15 ESV)

3. Use the moment.

Don’t let the moment pass you or the speaker by. Take the time to explain how you feel about marriage, children, etc… while the topic is at hand. Encourage them to view the topic from a biblical perspective rather than a worldly one. This can be awkward, especially if the comment was said in jest. But your testimony to them means nothing if they don’t understand why you are living the way you are living (i.e. your long and happy marriage will be seen as a “lucky break” to the person in the second example unless you confront that person with the truth saying, “We will not get divorced because we are Christians and our marriage is held captive by the Word of God.”). This may also help them to encourage you in your pursuit of obedience to the Lord rather than discourage you. -Or at least it will remind them not to say that particular thing again!

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. (1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV)

4. Seek out encouragement.

Your husband is your leader, your authority, your partner in this life. You two are in this together and if you are convinced that your decision (or whatever the subject is) honors the Lord, then there is only reason to rejoice. Sometimes you have to remind each other of the Word and the importance of pleasing God rather than man. Go to your husband and fellowship in your obedience. Ask him to pray for you to not harbor any resentment toward that person.

And when they had brought them, they set them before the council. And the high priest questioned them, saying, “We strictly charged you not to teach in this name, yet here you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching, and you intend to bring this man’s blood upon us.” But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men. (Acts 5:27-29 ESV)

5. Challenge yourself.

Is there something you could have done differently to keep them from saying such a thing? Did your attitude display something that you were unaware of? Do your actions betray your convictions? Are you less than affectionate toward your husband when you are around other people? Were you particularly frazzled and noticeably irritated by your child at that particular moment? Look for anything that could have given them the wrong impression and do your best to learn from the experience. Challenge yourself to take captive your words, expressions, and actions. Make sure that they align with your convictions. Maybe the Lord wishes to point an area of sin out that you were previously blind to.

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When You Feel Like It’s All For Nothing

Mar 2, 2011 by desiringvirtue

“What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word of faith from which the obedience and the work flow.” -Martin Luther

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“You’re Super Mom!”

Feb 8, 2011 by desiringvirtue

When people (my family) found out I made Elliot’s baby food they thought I was insanely cool. Suddenly my mom points went from a good 6 to a full out 9. The funny thing is that making your own baby food is really pretty simple~ as long as you have a food processor/blender you are set to go. Yes, it takes a little bit of time, but it is actually quite fun AND both my babies seem to prefer fresh baby food to the packaged/processed stuff. Also, it can save a substantial amount of money on the grocery bill. So, there you have it-three positives already!

Simple. Fun. Money Saving.

We don’t even have to go into all of the other specifics to making your own baby food to know that ANYONE who wants to, can indeed accomplish this simple task. You don’t have to be Super Mom. You just have to want to. -Make baby food, not be Super Mom… though you could want both.

There is something so enjoyable about steaming fruits and veggies, pureeing them, adding your own spices, coming up with your own mixtures and then putting them in the cute containers of your choice. Trust me… it is enjoyable.

But How?

Wash and peal your choice fruit/veggies.
Most fruits and veggies can simply be steamed in the microwave (this is actually better than steaming on the stove top because you can use all of the vitamin rich juices). Just put them in a bowl with a little bit of water (a few tablespoons at the most), cover with cling wrap, and then zap until tender enough to puncture with a fork.
Next transfer them (watch out, it is hot!) to a food processor/blender and… blend. Add the spices you want and more water if the mixture is too thick.
When you achieve the desired consistency, pour (or spoon, this is where I always make a mess) into freezer containers. You can buy special containers for this, use canning jars (pictured above), or simply freeze the food in ice cube trays and transfer into plastic baggies once frozen.
Viola! Super Mom status.

Now obviously, there are some important things to think about when making your own baby food. For instance: which foods are good to introduce at what age. For that kind of in depth information, follow this link to a helpful site: www.wholesomebabyfood.com

Money Saving Tips:

I feel like you save money on most foods, but sweet potatoes are where it is at in the money saving department. You will find the best deals on veggies will be in the frozen food section, and even some fruits for that matter. Apples are the one item that I find to be unnecessary to make at home. It just isn’t worth it. You can get a big jar of unsweetened apple sauce for a much better price than the amount of apples you will have to peal, core, and chop to match it. It is also very nice to be able to add premade apple sauce to your creations to get a nice mix of flavors!

What is my creation above? Cinnamon Carrot Apple Deluxe! That is right, I added the “Deluxe” for added sparkle. It is one of Hudson’s favorites, and actually Elliot is obsessed with it as well. I can hardly feed it to Hudson without Elliot attacking me. So, finally I thought, “Hey, if he likes pureed carrots he can have them!” He eats it like regular apple sauce and I feel quite pleased with myself.

So if you thought homemade baby food was only for the Super Moms out there, you were wrong. Put on your apron and get to making your own!

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One Picture

Jan 20, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Joy.

That little apartment was beaming with joy. Inside was a young wife who had just confirmed her suspicions-she was pregnant. Life was blossoming within her and she couldn’t contain the smile it produced on her lips.

“Hello little one,” she sang as she gently caressed her now precious belly.

How would she tell her Love? How should she share with him the most wonderful news of their lives?

She raced to the store to buy a statue of a man holding his newborn baby-she remembered her love admiring it before. Soon she was in her galley kitchen mixing the batter to a cake she would ice blue and pink. She quickly prepared the tiny home for her Love’s arrival, made their favorite dinner and queued the movie to just the right place.

There was his key in the door. That familiar sound sent excitement through her veins as she put on the most ordinary face possible.

“I want to eat in here tonight,” she said motioning into the living room where the baked tortellini was sending steam to the ceiling of the enchanted room.

“Ok, what are we watching?” His eyes moved from the little laptop screen to her coy face.

“Oh, I was watching Made for Each Other, do you want to keep watching?”

Always up for a Jimmy Stewart film, he settled into their couch and marveled at the cake. “Wow! What is the occasion?”

“No occasion, just felt like baking…” Did he not notice the color scheme? Oh never mind he will get it soon enough she said to herself.

The movie took up where she had stopped it: John Mason opens the note slipped to him by his wife and he slowly grasps that they are going to have a baby. As the couple on screen exchange bewildered expressions the little wife sitting next to her unsuspecting husband presented him with a gift. His confusion fell to the ground with the wrapping as he helds the final clue to his future.

“No way!”

“Yes.” She nodded her head through tears and they embraced. That night was filled with laughter and talk of the future. Images of a beautiful child flashed in their imaginations as they spoke of the experiences to come. They threw off any fears that some might suppose accompany such news and thanked their Heavenly Father for the gift of life produced through their love.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” -James 1:17

Their child was shrouded with prayer that night. That night in January of 2008.

Pain.

It wasn’t normal. Surely she shouldn’t be feeling like this. Is that blood?

“No, God, please no.” Tears formed pools of sadness in her eyes. She looked out the window and prayed to her Father, but in her heart she already knew what was going to happen.

The next day the young wife and her brave husband sat in a dark room next to the glow of a computer monitor showing their baby. Their precious baby, so small, so miraculous.

“It is hard to tell at this point,” the caring voice cautioned, “Usually there is a heart beat, but sometimes not yet.”

Not yet? Could the young wife cling to those words? “Can we have that picture?” she asked hesitantly.

One picture. One piece of evidence. Proof that a baby had existed. One glimpse into their possible future.

They left that room with uncertainty, but the next few days of anguish confirmed the young wife’s heart knowledge.

Her baby was taken from her. In a war of horrid pain her baby was snatched from her womb. Where life had once been, there was only stillness. In the final hours of February 25th the young mother and the young father she loved lost their baby. A still silence punctuated only by their soft whimpers filled their tiny apartment. Her mother, the bereaved grandmother, sat close by stunned by the utter sadness. What words were there to say?

Silence was broken by the young mother’s feeble words, “We should pray.” The young father, her love, lifted up their little family to their good God. They asked for peace, for comfort, for joy. They asked for clarity and trust. Their hearts cried out to the One who took their baby, the baby he had given them.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” -Job 1:21

“Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” -Job 2:10

Sacrifice.

The pain didn’t go away. She carried it with her everywhere she went. It was heavy at first, strong like the waves of the ocean. Each baby she saw seemed to push her back down into memories of a lost future. Push, push, crash, crash. As she worshiped alongside other families on Sundays she silently cried, longing for what they had, longing for her baby, her lost baby.

But her pain wasn’t wasted. It wasn’t for nothing. Every tear, every longing was a sacrifice she offered up to her God, beautiful incense. She begged her Savior to teach her the lesson he intended for her to learn, that she would have the ears to hear it and the heart to grasp it. She gave him her pain and asked for his strength.

She asked him to be strong for her and he was.

“Who is like the LORD our God, who is seated on high, who looks far down on the heavens and the earth? He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes, with the princes of his people. He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!” -Psalm 113:5-9

Every day she grew stronger and slowly the waves got smaller. The Lord brought new blessings into her life. She would never be the same. Her faith was deeper, more real than it had been. She walked through the fire of affliction and was more beautiful because of it. She loved her God with a more natural, more pure love. Her praises were filled with memories of of pain and deliverance; her testimony one that had been tried, tested. She was thankful, thankful for the pain.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” -James 1:2-4

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Aren’t You Thankful?

Dec 25, 2010 by desiringvirtue

As a mom it is so difficult to imagine being the mother of the the Lord. The difficulty is not so much in the “mother” part, but in the God incarnate part. How does God become a man? How does the infinitely Holy One put on the clothes of human flesh? How does the Creator lie helpless at a mother’s breast? It is simply amazing… every aspect of it. This is the miracle we celebrate at Christmas.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” ~John 1:1-5

Taking the advice of a recent Girl Talk post, I reread the chapter in Knowing God titled “God Incarnate.” First of all, if you haven’t read Knowing God, you must… trust me, you must. Second of all I am so thankful that I reread this chapter (makes me want to reread the whole book…)! Packer covers a lot of material in this chapter, but one of the best parts is this paragraph:

“The Word had become flesh: a real human baby. He had not ceased to be God; he was no less God than before; but he had begun to be man. He was not now God minus some elements of his deity, but God plus all that he had made his own by taking manhood to himself. He who made man was now learning what it felt like to be man. He who made the angel who became the devil was now in a state in which he could be tempted-could not, indeed, avoid being tempted-by the devil; and the perfection of his human life was achieved only by conflict with the devil. The epistle to the Hebrews, looking up to him in his ascended glory, draws great comfort from this fact.”

And the passages he is referring to in Hebrews:

“He had to be made like his brothers in every way… Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted… For we do not have a hight priest who is unable to sympathize with your weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin.Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” ~Hebrews 2:17-18; 4:15-16

Aren’t you thankful? Isn’t it amazing that the Lord knows the pull to sin that we feel. The one who can never sin, knows how our flesh pulls us toward sin every moment of the day. We don’t have a God who doesn’t sympathize with us! He knows how we struggle, but he gives us the power we need to overcome sin-the same power he used to overcome it! I am so thankful for this aspect of Christmas. Aren’t you?

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On Motherhood and Tiny Men

Jun 15, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Who am I that the Lord would give me the responsibility of raising these precious tiny men? Surely he knows my weakness, my selfishness, my laziness. Surely he has not forgotten the many times I have brought shame upon his name or the times I have worshiped other gods. No, of course he has not forgotten. Yet, he has chosen this foolish woman to care for and nurture the souls of these precious little ones. This quest will test every inch of me and bring me to the cross time and time again.

Oh Lord, may I never attempt to raise these men without your Spirit. May my heart cling to the power you have lavished upon me through your Son as I strive to impart wisdom and discipline. May they grow up to be men who glorify your name and fight for your Kingdom, your honor. Let these tiny feet go to nations in need of the light of the gospel; let these little hands care for the poor and needy; let these wide eyes gaze upon the beauty of the Savior and be moved by it. May their voices be filled with the words of the Most High God and their actions driven by them.

It is a weighty task to raise tiny men into mighty Christ-followers, weighty and honorable. My strength is nothing and my talents are worthless… it is Christ who must take up this task through me and I who must fade into the background of my life. He is the one who will nourish their souls, who will give wisdom and insight to their minds. He will love them as they could never be loved by another and will show them the path of godliness. I am simply a vessel for the Lord to use as he wills in the lives of my tiny men.

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An End To Your Work Day

Mar 30, 2010 by desiringvirtue

A mother’s job is never done. But can a housekeeper’s, a school teacher’s, or a blogger’s job end at 5 o’clock with the rest of the world? Of course it can! As homemakers, we wear many different hats and some of those need to be taken off both mentally and physically at some point in time or your day will simply turn into one overstressed, unproductive mush. Having a cut off time for certain household duties is beneficial in many ways.

First, it gives you incentive to work hard up until that designated point in time. It is much easier to put your nose to the grindstone when you have a light at the end of the tunnel to keep you going. When you feel like giving up or surfing the web, remember that you have time for that on your “off” hours. Alternatively, deluding yourself with the prospect of a never ending work day can result in procrastination and frustration.

Another helpful aspect to shutting down shop around 5pm is the ability to refocus and recharge before your husband gets home from work. Let your husband come home to a peaceful, quiet home and a peaceful, quiet wife while you are at it! If you plan to have dinner on the table at 6pm, you will have plenty of time to leisurely prepare the meal and spruce up a bit before your love returns from a hard day at work.

Another benefit to retiring for the night is your ability to focus on family time. It is difficult to give your whole heart and mind to your husband and children when you still have the day’s cares hovering above you like a black cloud. This small amount of time you have with your family every night is precious and should not be taken lightly. It is especially precious to your husband, who spends much of his day outside the home and looks forward to your company when he returns. Some of the most important family activities happen in the evening, from dinner to family worship to bath time to romantic rendezvous. Let your heart, body and mind be all there during these precious times.

One last benefit to cutting off some duties when your husband gets home is that he will not feel as though he needs to help you in those activities. He has been working hard all day and envisions this as his time to relax and rejuvenate, but he can’t truly do this unless you are as well. Watching you fold laundry while he relaxes will only make him feel guilty and you feel bitter in the process!

Now, I am not proposing that you put aside your duties as wife and mother. Dinner still has to be prepared and served, babies still need to be nursed, bathed, and put to bed, and much much more. However, there are specific duties that you can designate to your “work day” and others that you can designate to your “off time.” In order to achieve this reality there are certain disciplines that need to be cultivated every day, here are a few:

Have a plan for your day. It doesn’t have to be a minute by minute guide, but having a general plan laid out will help you know what you need to accomplish before the “whistle blows” for the end of your work day. Ideally this should be done before your time off so that you don’t have tomorrow’s to-do list hanging over your head while you are trying to relax. Give yourself 10-15 minutes at the end of every work day to plan the next day’s duties.
Get to work on the hard things first. We all have those specific tasks that we dread doing every day. Whether it is vacuuming or cleaning the tub, getting it done first thing will aid your desire to be productive and spur you on throughout the rest of the day.
Do the most important things on your list next. With the painful, but necessary tasks out of the way, move on the most important tasks. These will vary day by day, but you don’t want them to get looked over as you go about your business. If you do look them over, the chances of you getting to relax when your husband gets home are greatly decreased.
Make as many nighttime chores daytime chores as you can. For instance, if you normally unload and load the dishwasher after dinner or before you go to bed consider moving your dishwashing routine to the middle of the day. After lunch is through, run the dishwasher and unload it before you call it quits for the day. Then all you will have to do before bed is load the dinner dishes. Maybe you could move bath time for the little ones to a less hectic time during the day. If so, that is one less thing you will have to do before the kids go down. Simply setting out the kid’s diapers and pajamas for bed time (before you stop working for the day) is a huge help when you are trying to simplify your nighttime routine, plus it makes you feel prepared for the night.
Take the necessary steps to be able to call it quits. You can’t truly call it quits if the house is still in disarray when the quitting bell rings! The last 30 minutes of your day will have to be dedicated to a thorough pic up in order to make quitting a reality. This means that if you desire to stop working at 5pm, you must begin preparing to stop working a little after 4! Imagine how peaceful you would be if, at around 4:15pm you began picking up the house, looking for loose ends that need to be tied (like a clean load of laundry that needs to be put away or dishes that need to be unloaded). You are able to accomplish these last minute details, light a few candles, and put on a pot of coffee to enjoy before you start cooking dinner. Then, at 4:45pm you sit down with the your cup of coffee and plan out the next day. Depending on how long your dinner preparations are going to take, you may even have time to pray for a little bit thanking the Lord for the things you were able to accomplish and asking him to prepare your heart to be ready for your husband. It all sounds rather ideal does it not? Imagine how different your nights could be with just a little bit of planning!
When it is quitting time, quit! As you are planning out the next day include the tasks that you were unable to get to today (and of course there will probably be some depending on how long you make your lists). Most household chores will not blow up if they are left for the next day and unless something completely unexpected happened you were able to get to the most important things that needed to be done, done. It isn’t as easy as it sounds to quit because a lot of the things we do can be done in just a few minutes, but remember that your off time is designated to other important things like preparing dinner, reading to your kids, or enjoying your husband’s company. These things are just as important (sometimes more) as matching a pair of socks or windexing a window.
Keep your plan for the next day handy. Though it is wise to make this plan before you quit for the day, having it handy so that you can add duties or activities as they come to mind is very helpful. As soon as you think of something or see something that needs to get done jot it down so that it does not weigh on you throughout the night.
Make the “pick-up” habit second nature. If you aren’t going to dedicate yourself to cleaning after 5, then you will need to be diligent in the upkeep of the house from then on out. Keeping a tidy house must become part of our very nature as homemakers if we are to be able to enjoy a clean home for more than 15 minutes! Just take the time as you are enjoying your family to leave every room you spend time in nice and tidy.
View your tasks after 5pm as enjoyable, relaxing activities. It is obvious that no matter how much you get done before you quit for the day, there are certain activities as wives and mothers that will have to be done during the night time. However, viewing them as enjoyable, relaxing activities rather than more chores will make your evenings much less stressful. Cooking, if you are not strapped for time, can be a therapeutic and creative endeavor. Bathing your children and putting them to bed should be an enjoyable, memory making activity. Unfortunately these things can become stressful tasks in and of themselves if you have not done the necessary preparations or accomplished enough ahead of time.

Being part of a family is hard work, being the mother or wife in that family is even harder work. However, evenings should be reserved for relaxing and fellowship with your husband and family as a means of service to them. The whole work day is devoted to serving your husband through working diligently in your home while he is out, let him enjoy the home you have prepared for him by letting him enjoy you.

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Perfect Moments

Jan 3, 2010 by desiringvirtue

Darkness surrounds us and silence is broken only by soft, tiny, even breaths. They were not always thus. No, a few moments ago they were short, scared, filled with pain. That was before Mommy was with you, before you felt the skin of her soft shoulder beneath your head, before you heard her gentle voice fill your soul. But she is here now; I am here now.

Mommy’s mind races through the countless times she has rocked you like this. The many minutes, hours that we have spent together in the darkness. Rocking. There were the nights when you nursed at her breast, so small and delicate. Now you are warm, heavy, and beautiful sleeping quietly on my shoulder.

Time seems to move slower when we rock in the darkness. Looking into your angelic face I know that I am forever blessed. Many will never experience these perfect moments, but God has given them to me in abundance. Though you dream far away, Mommy whispers a prayer praising her Father for the miracle that you are. Must I surrender you to your bed and leave this night to the cruel dimness of memory?

I’ll let you go now sweet child. Don’t you worry or stir as I set you down. I am never more than a whimper away, never more than a soft cry down the hall. If you call me I will hear you because that is what Mommies do. Our souls are connected and I feel when you need me. While the rest of the world sleeps, my heart keeps watch over you, my little one. It won’t allow me to forget you; it won’t allow me to sleep through.

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Santa or Jesus (Pt.1)

Dec 15, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Santa Claus is so very interesting to me. How is it that a fourth century bishop who was known for his generosity to children, the poor and the destitute became the center of a an entire holiday season? When and why did people feel the need to mold this real and God-honoring man into an idol? The word idol may sound harsh. I am not proposing that everyone who participates in the Santa Claus tradition is an idol worshiper, but I fear that the vast majority of Americans are in fact teaching their children to worship an imaginary man (imaginary because the historical St. Nicholas of Myra is vastly different from the one we celebrate now).

Think about it, how is the way we worship the true God any different from the way we teach our children to relate to Santa Claus? We teach them that Santa is all knowing (after all he can see you when your sleeping and know when your awake), he is omnipresent (he somehow can be everywhere at once in one night), and he rewards good behavior while punishing bad behavior. We ingrain in our children the validity of Santa, reading them stories and teaching them songs. We remind them throughout the year (especially as Christmas gets closer) that the gifts they get on Christmas will depend upon their obedience or disobedience making Santa an authority in their lives. Of course we know the truth (that we are basically lying to our children so that they can have some childish fun) and they will find out sooner or later that it was all just an elaborate story that was meant for their enjoyment, but they don’t know that. In their childish minds Santa is the coolest man on earth! Who could be better than Santa? I mean goodness; all I have to do is make a list and he will give me all my little heart desires come Christmas morning!

It should not be surprising that the world created this mythical character for we know that man’s heart was created to worship. We know that as humans we were meant to have a relationship with our Lord and that our hearts and minds are fitted to worship (though skewed as a result of the fall). It should not surprise us when we see the world grasp at any and all earthly idols as they spurn the one true God, but it should surprise us when the Christian community wholeheartedly embraces the worship of a man at the expense of worshiping God.

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Willing To Be Weak

Nov 27, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Being a wife and mother means you don’t get sick right? Not so much. Usually it means you get sick, but you don’t take the time to rest like your body needs because you feel like you can’t. Sometimes you truly are unable to control the circumstances you find yourself in: laundry needs to be done, baby’s diaper needs to be changed, and somehow we all need to eat later on. However, sometimes we make the situation worse than it needs to be by relying on our own dwindling strength rather than joyfully accepting the help that God gives us through other people.

My natural instinct when I am sick or otherwise incapacitated is to suffer through the day. Richard will ask me if I need his help and instead of taking the time to really think about what I need him to do I mutter a, “no… I got it…” (in a really pathetic, sad voice of course). Then the whole day I am thinking about how he should be anticipating what needs to be done and should simply get on it! I mean can’t he see that I am sick?????! My poor husband. The truth is that he usually has no idea what I need him to do, much less what I would like him to do. He is more than willing to do ANYTHING I ask, but really needs that prompting in order to know the “what” it is that needs to be done.

I don’t know if it is pride or self pity that causes this situation so often, but I do know a couple things:

1.) Asking for help means that you can’t handle it yourself. It means being honest about your weakness and your need of assistance. This can be hard-especially when you are the one who keeps things moving in the home on a daily basis.

2.) Asking for help means that things won’t necessarily be done your way. I like everything to be done a certain way and when it isn’t I feel the need to fix it. The world is not going to end if Elliot gets fed without a bib on or if the laundry isn’t put away in the exact right spot. The fact that these things get done without me expending energy is a beautiful thing that I should be grateful for and desirous of without exception!

3.) Giving help takes sacrifice. When I ask for help, Richard has to sacrifice his own desires and priorities in order to serve me. This is a hard one for me. I hate to feel like a burden to Richard. I know that the duties of the home are often alien to him and that Elliot takes a lot more energy than he often expects, so watching him tend to all of these things throughout the day makes me very uncomfortable. Accepting this sacrificial help means that I have to trust that the Lord will give him the energy and wisdom he needs and that the Lord doesn’t need me to accomplish his work.

4.) Giving help is a blessing. I mean this both ways. First, it is a blessing to the one who receives the help. I am always reminded of the Lord’s kindness to me when Richard sacrificially takes care of me and the rest of our home. I praise God for the love he gives to this children so that they can show that love to others! Second, it is a blessing to the giver. The Lord teaches us to serve one another continually. Sickness is one of the most obvious and practical opportunities to do this. It is also one of the times when it is the most appreciated. There is nothing better than having someone take care of everything while you get some much needed rest; likewise, there is nothing worse than trying to trudge through your daily routine when you really need to be doing nothing. Being the person that makes rest possible is both sanctifying and rewarding. It gives you the opportunity to grow in your appreciation for the person who is sick and be challenged in your own abilities.

This past weekend was an occasion where my husband had to pick up the extra slack that I could not handle. To make matters worse we were on a little trip visiting my family. I was not only sick with a soar throat, but suffering from a TERRIBLE tooth ache, and the beginnings of my pregnancy nausea!!!!! Talk about the wrong weekend to get away! Well, thanks to my wonderful husband and my gracious mother, I was able to get the rest I needed and still enjoy the time I had with my family. Amazingly enough it took incredible self restraint to accept the fact that I was going to need help and trust that things would be ok if I just closed myself up in a dark room and took a nap (multiple times throughout the weekend). I am so grateful that I did! I am also grateful that my wonderful husband took yesterday off to serve me and tend to my needs. That day made all the difference and now I am feeling much better. If I had been “brave” and told him to go to work and not “worry” about us, I would have had a terrible day and been struggling with bitterness against him in my heart. Instead I was able to enjoy the service of my wonderful husband and get some much needed rest. Thank you Husband and thank you God.

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The Joys and Sorrows of Miscarriage

Sep 16, 2009 by desiringvirtue

You may not know that before being pregnant with Elliot, I miscarried our first baby. The miscarriage was THE most horrible and difficult trial of my life. Yet, through it all, in our greatest weakness the Lord gave Richard and I the joy and strength that we lacked. Our faith was never more real than in those most horrible moments. When you miscarry, the pain does not end after your baby leaves your body; it continues for days, months, and even years after. One of the greatest blessings a woman can be given during this time is the knowledge that someone else knows exactly how she feels. Knowing that another woman has known the pain, and felt the very real presence of the Lord during it, is an encouragement like none other. That is why I have asked a dear friend, Sarah, to share her testimony of the Lord’s faithfulness to her through her recent miscarriage and subsequent pregnancy. I am confident that her Biblical, God honoring testimony will be a blessing to every woman who reads it.

I am most thankful for the opportunity to share about one of the most difficult, yet most peaceful trials of my life. I do hope that this can be of an encouragement to someone else who is experiencing or has experienced the pain of miscarrying a pregnancy.

First I would like to share that I have a 5 year old little girl. I never had any complications with her at all during pregnancy, so when the Lord blessed us with a second pregnancy, I was not even thinking of the possibility that something could go wrong. I was about 5 weeks along when I started experiencing some symptoms that had my doctor concerned. Because I was so early, there was nothing that she could really tell me. We had to wait. It was about 3-4 weeks later when my doctor had determined that the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks.

This few weeks of waiting on the Lord was the most difficult yet most peaceful time of my life. My doctor was not very optimistic that the baby would make it, I had to battle thoughts in my mind. I couldn’t think about “what will I do if we lose the baby?” Or even making plans in my mind if everything was fine. I had to stay completely in the “middle” of these two thoughts and just trust the Lord. I had to be completely content with not knowing. I had to be content to wait. It was absolutely beautiful waiting in the arms of my creator, knowing that even though I didn’t know the outcome, and my doctor didn’t know the outcome, He knew. He created this precious little life inside of my womb, and it was His creation and He had it all under control. When my doctor told me that the baby was gone I had an incredible peace about it. God’s grace was with me and covered me in that moment.

The night after I had my DNC, I could not sleep. I was wide awake and all of these scriptures were pouring through my mind! Scriptures about who God is and His faithfulness. Scriptures like “Now see that I, even I, am He, and there is no God besides Me; I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; Nor is there any who can deliver from my hand.” (Deut. 32:39) This gave me great comfort to remember that God is always in control of every situation in our lives. Even the most painful things that we experience are all by the hand of our loving Father. “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes. The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of coins of gold and silver… Those who fear you will be glad when they see me, because I have hoped in Your word. I know, O Lord, that your judgments are right; and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.” (Ps 119:71-75) I knew that it was for my good and His faithfulness He had given me this trial. I had never been more close to the Lord than these past few weeks of waiting on Him. “Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful creator.” (1 Pet. 4:19) There was no doubt that this was the will of the Lord for my life and for the life of my little one that He had blessed me with. The Lord also gently reminded me of a scripture I had memorized as a teenager. At the time I really didn’t understand it, though now, it held so much meaning for me. “Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Ps 73:25-26)

The Lord was so faithful to keep me nestled close to Him during that time. I knew that His strength was with me and I had nothing to fear. I did go through a grieving process that I did not quite expect. Through it all, when I felt so broken hearted, He was there with encouragement in His word. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy. “ (Pro. 13:13) This verse helped me to understand to grieve is okay. There is a time to grieve, and there would again be a time of rejoicing. We decided to wait about 3 months to try again. When it came time, I was very afraid. I just kept praying and asking the Lord to help me to trust Him again, and to take the fear away and help me be excited about being pregnant again. In His faithfulness, He led me to Colossians 1. These particular verses were talking about the way that we are to walk with the Lord, being worthy of this and fully pleasing Him in everything. Then I read verses 11-12a “Strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and long-suffering with joy, giving thanks to the Father…” He reminded me to be thankful to Him for this trial. To know that He was giving me strength to have joy while I am suffering according to His will! I continued reading in verse 16 “For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or powers. All things were created through Him and for Him.” God had created this precious little person, this precious gift. Though it was a blessing for me, He created it for Himself. For His own glory through Christ! What a precious thought to think that the Lord would create something invisible to the world around me and that He did it for Himself. This gave me great thankfulness and peace! I could not WAIT to be pregnant again! It encouraged my heart so much that no matter how long a pregnancy lasts, whether a few weeks, a few months, or if I carry to full term, it is a blessing! It is for His glory! What an amazing creator we have!

So today, I am humbly grateful to share that I am 8 weeks pregnant. There are moments when those fearful thoughts pop into my head. In those moments, all I can do is pray. I ask the Lord to help me not to dwell on the lies. I ask the Lord to give me strength and excitement and to trust Him with this baby. I remind myself of all that I have learned and what a true gift it was for me to lose the last baby. If it were not for that incredibly painful trial, I would not have the strengthened faith that I do today. I love Jesus more today because of what I went through. I just think “Whom have I in Heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You.”

Thank you for sharing your testimony with us Sarah. It is obvious that the Spirit of God was so active in your life, using the Scriptures to communicate Christ’s love and power.

My prayer is that Sarah’s story will strengthen you through any trial you experience and the scriptures she referenced will be a valuable tool for you when desiring to minister to other sisters in Christ facing difficult times.

Update: A couple weeks after writing this testimony, the Lord allowed Sarah to miscarry your second baby. Her thoughts and pain regarding her recent trial have been heavily influenced by her past experience and confidence in the Lord’s goodness. Her faith in the Lord’s love for her has grown tremendously through these trials. Please pray for the Lord’s blessing on her womb and that she would soon enjoy the blessing of a healthy baby.

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The Lord Gives and He Takes Away

Mar 24, 2008 by desiringvirtue

Dear Family and Friends,

As many of you know, on February 25th we miscarried our first baby. I wanted to take a moment to share with you a little bit about our baby and what the Lord has done through him. On January 28th I shared with Richard one of the happiest moments of our lives; it was the day that I told him we were pregnant. You could not have found two people who were more thrilled or thankful. We quickly began to picture our future bundle of joy and all of the many blessing that would result from him. The news spread like wildfire and everyone was able to celebrate with us. Four weeks later, I began to miscarry. An ultrasound showed that the baby was about two weeks behind in development. Though it was approximately eight weeks old, it was only measuring six. And then on the 25th Richard and I shared one of the saddest moments of our lives together.

It is an incredible thing to gain and lose something so precious to you so quickly. I know the pain and sadness of that day will forever be etched in my memory. But as terrible as this experience was and still is for us, the weight and beauty of God’s perfect love gives us great confidence and contentment. We know that this tragedy is not outside of God’s control. It was part of his perfect and loving plan for us. He measured out the days of this baby, just as he has our own. Therefore we rejoice in the amazing gift that this child was to us. Through him we were able to experience many joys: a pregnancy test being positive, the amazement of a human life growing within me, and the joy of knowing that Richard and I created something by the Lord’s grace. His death has helped us to understand so many truths about the Lord more deeply. It is a vivid reminder that all of our days are numbered. We cannot control our lives or our family’s lives any more than a flower can choose where it is planted, when the rain will come and harm it, when the sun will shine upon it, or in what fashion it will die. We must therefore live humbly before the Lord knowing that it is He who is in control of all things and trust in His wisdom. Though we have cried many tears and felt immense sorrow, we are utterly in love with our Lord, Jesus Christ. Through this experience we have found new meaning in the numerous descriptions of Him found in the Bible. He truly has been our rock from which we draw strength. He has been our river of living water from which we have received nourishment for our parched souls. He has been the refuge that we found peace and joy in though all around our world was crumbling. More than anything, he has been a father to us. A father who deeply loves, cares for, and understands us. Though all around us waves of sadness, grief, and fear grew great, our Savior stood to calm them.

Immediately after I miscarried I began to think about the parallel between our loss and the Father’s loss when He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for our sins. Perhaps now we have a minute understanding of what the words, “he gave his only son” truly mean. God willingly sent His son to die for sinners. We experienced the death of our child, but Christ’s death was infinitely more appalling. Unlike our child, Christ was the perfect God of the universe who suffered a cruel and unjust execution. We loved our baby so much, but our love could never compare to God’s love for His son. His love is without the blemish of sin; it is perfect. And yet the Bible tells us “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son.” Praise the Lord for His sacrifice for sinners! If it was not for his willingness to sacrifice His son, we would be lost and without hope for redemption. Our sins would forever be held against us and would condemn us for eternity. It is because of the truth of God’s love for sinners like us, that Richard and I have been able to accept and find joy in this tragedy. Without it, there is no joy and there is no peace. We pray that if this letter finds you without an understanding of this truth you would search it out diligently. Read the gospel of John and pray that the Lord would open your eyes and lead you to repentance.

We would like to thank all of you who have so diligently prayed for us. Know that the Lord heard you and His Spirit ministered greatly to us (and still is) as a result of your prayers. The Lord has provided in so many ways, both physically and emotionally. My mother was able to be with us through the whole miscarriage which was a tremendous comfort and service. Many of you have not only prayed for us, but graciously sent cards, letters, flowers, gift cards, even money to help us get through this unexpected time. We are not worthy of such grace and thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. We love you and hope that this little glimpse into our hearts will encourage you as you seek to know the risen Lord.

Love always,

Richard and Jessalyn Hutto

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