Hospitality Begins in the Heart

Feb 22, 2012 by Guest

Today a dear friend of mine is guest posting on the heart of hospitality. Please welcome Monica to Desiring Virtue and be encouraged by her sweet words!

Lauren Spangler. Age 10. Rather short, a little plump, strawberry blond hair, freckles, crooked teeth, and mean as a rattlesnake.

Her latest victim – my younger sister, Michelle.

Since they shared the same grade, they attended the same classes in church. For some reason, Lauren took it upon herself to start spreading lies about my sister and poking fun at her during any chance that presented itself.

I’d love to impress you and share how I, as the godly big sis, encouraged a Biblical response to my sister. But, alas, I wanted Michelle to ignore Lauren and run the other way. Much to my surprise, one Thursday afternoon I overhear my sister talking with my mom. “Are you sure?” my mom asks. “Yes, ma’am,” my sister replies. Within five minutes Michelle has hung up the phone with a smile on her face. “Lauren is coming over Sunday afternoon,” she states with a confident sweetness.

Sure enough, Sunday following church we all piled into our minivan, Lauren included! I don’t remember much about that afternoon other than all of us enjoying Sunday dinner around our dining room table, Lauren acting mannerly and answering our questions, and my sister sharing her toys and favorite places with this new found friend. All afternoon these ten year olds giggled and played the day away.

In the months and years that followed, Lauren and Michelle remained acquaintances, but they never became best friends. However, I know that the love and hospitality my sister shared squelched the meanness Lauren gave forever.

Hospitality – a word we often use to describe opening our home to friends, sharing a meal, and having Christian fellowship. But does hospitality begin when guests arrive at our door? How did Jesus, our ultimate example, the One we are to follow, show hospitality? I mean, he had no home or place to lay His head.

Matthew 9:36 speaks of Jesus looking with compassion on the multitudes. He saw individuals in need, people longing for love, and men and women searching for hope. Jesus healed, fed, listened, and sought these souls. Shouldn’t we do the same?

Hospitality begins in our heart. When we look at others, do we see the outward appearances? Do we focus on the things that others may do that we would never participate in? Or, are we seeking to have a hospitable heart that welcomes and loves others? Are we remembering the love, patience, and compassion that Christ has shown us, and therefore sharing that hospitality with others? Do we really believe that all we own belongs to Christ? If so, we shouldn’t worry about how fancy our home may be, what types of dainty food we can afford, or if our children will act perfectly for company. When we trust Christ for all we call “ours”, how can we help but share those blessings with others?

Since hospitality begins in our heart, we need to spend ample amount of time praying for others and seeking to love those around us. Whether it’s a sweet couple from church or the annoying classmate that makes our life miserable, may our lives mirror the compassion of Christ and be hospitable to all those around us – even the Lauren Spanglers.

Monica is married to Matthew and has two adorable little girls Abigail and Aubrey. She can be found writing at A Godly Heritage.

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This post is linked up with Raising Homemakers

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Reader Feedback: What is Hospitality?

Jan 19, 2012 by desiringvirtue

The always beautiful Julie serving some tasty treats at her sister's (my sister-in-law's) wedding shower!

On Monday I shared a wonderful quote from Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others and asked you to share your thoughts on hospitality.

How do you define hospitality?

What practical ways do you practice hospitality?

You gave some great answers to these simple questions and I would like to share some of your comments today:

Wendy said…

There are so many aspects to hospitality and I happen to just read and article entitled “Hospitality Begins at Home” in Credenda Agenda Magazine on this topic that was so helpful and from a little different angle. Here are a few highlights:

Hospitality is a means of loving others by supplying their needs from what we have. Hospitality doesn’t keep score. It is a testing point of how we are doing with all our stuff. Do we share? Do we give our stuff ( money, time, food) away freely?

At its most basic level, hospitality is simply feeding people. God enables us to turn a sack of flour into cookies and cinnamon rolls; this is a profound mystery! God is blessing us with food. He gives it to us freely, and we should be grateful to turn and give it freely to our own children in imitation of Him. This is a profound ministry that God has given wives and mothers. Feed people! Feed your people! This is the essence of hospitality…

When company comes we give them our attention and use our best manners. We say, ” Make yourself at home.” Consider then our own families. Are the children also free to “make themselves at home”? Are we hospitable to our own people? …Children know if they are welcome or unwelcome guests. They know if Mom is stingy with the food or not…Home should be the measuring stick of what beautiful, glorious, God-ordained hospitality looks like. If it isn’t, then how will we understand what it means to be given to hospitality?…. In feeding all these people, we are feeding Jesus. “Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me”

Becky from Daily on My Way to Heaven said…

We love to have people over very often, and most of the times, it is big groups of people We just love having our Family Table full. We also have had the opportunity, because we live in Mexico, to have many families visit us and stay with us for several days; so yes, hospitality is an important part of our family.

One of the most important things I have learned about being hospitable is that Peter’s words are vital if we want to serve God when we open our home to others.

“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and ydominion forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Peter 4:9- 11

We may have all the food ready, the house clean, and the table beautifully set with a vase of fresh flowers, but if we grumble (even in our hearts), it won’t be a pleasant service to God.

What happens when the guests leave your home? Do you grumble with your kids and husband about how tired you are. Do you talk about little Jimmy who just left and you just can’t figure out why he behaves in such a way. Do you grumble on how Mrs. So-an-So did not help you clean the table?

As in all the things we do, let’s us see that we keep a heart that pleases God.

I would love to recommend you a great book on the subject (the best I have read), it is called A Meal with Jesus: Discovering Grace, Community and Mission Around the Table by Tim Chester

Julie from The Turner Table said…

I loved reading A Meal With Jesus! It really challenged me to think about hospitality differently than I had before. One thought being that hospitality should also extend outside of our homes.

A practical way I do this from time to time is bringing my girlfriends a homemade treat-muffins, cookies or coffee cake- to enjoy when we meet at Starbucks for coffee. Its like a “taste” of home even when we aren’t gathering there.

Heidi said…

I love having freezer meals on hand for last minute invites over! In fact, we just did this Sunday after church. Chili was a quick and easy meal to whip up right after church and to share with our friends. I freeze full meals often and brown hamburger in and freeze in ziploc baggies which is what made chili such a breeze.

I also try not to leave the house if things aren’t in their places for two reasons: 1. I hate coming home to a messy house that I have to pick up. If I’ve been out running with the kids, the last thing I want to do is come home and pick up! 2. If someone stops by or I run into someone and have them over, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about! The house is mostly ready for company!

One of my goals this year is to be ready for company any time. The two ways above have made that possible ”

Justin said…

I think a good definition of hospitality, or at least a big part/aspect of hospitality, is anticipating needs. I believe that is a principle of hospitality that can apply in all contexts. Of course, that implies meeting those needs and whatnot, but it is the having a cup of coffee ready, knowing a persons likes and dislikes, adapting accordingly, etc.

Hollie from Reformed Redhead said…

I agree that hospitality is, in the most basic form, just being prepared for visitors/taking people in. It’s seeing your home as God’s and being open to minister to and meet the needs of whomever He brings into your home. I also think another part of hospitality is taking the initiative to bring people to your home and host them. One of the goals my husband and I set for ourselves this year is to have at least one guest over each month to enable us to practice hospitality more often.

Amy from Making a Joyful Home said…

I try to always have some kind of treat on hand so that if people stop in, I can welcome them to stay, or I can have something to send to a home that might need remembering. And I also try to keep ingredients on hand for at least 1 quick dish I can bring to a potluck.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic of hospitality! They were all so wonderful and encouraging. Keep a lookout for more opportunities to share your thoughts and practical tips here at Desiring Virtue!

This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Love for God = Hospitality Toward Others

Jan 16, 2012 by desiringvirtue

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13 ESV)

“Hospitality is a practical way to love others. Therefore, a person practicing biblical hospitality would also be a loving person. This element separates biblical hospitality from social entertaining or even distinguishes between the hospitality of a believer and an unbeliever. Believers can uniquely display God’s love as they extend hospitality. Entertaining focuses on having a beautiful table decor or preparing gourmet food. Biblical hospitality is a demonstration of love. Food and other elements are merely tools used to express our love for people. Our motivation for being hospitable women is a response to God’s work in our lives. Hospitality is one way we can tangibly demonstrate our love for God.” Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others by Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock

Reader Feedback:

We are all commanded to be hospitable to those around us. How do you practically practice hospitality? Encourage, inspire, and challenge Desiring Virtue’s readers by sharing what hospitality means to you and/or how you specifically like to practice hospitality. Here are a couple examples from Lisa and Pat’s book:

Patti Morse shares, “We are military, so we move often. Within the first two weeks in a new home, I bake a batch of homemade cookies and take a plate of cookies around to all my neighbors. With each plate, I write a note containing our name, phone number, and a Scripture verse. To minister to my husband’s unit, I make every Monday special by sending in a back-to-work treat for them to enjoy with their morning cups of coffee. Each treat is accompanied by a special Scripture and word of appreciation.”

Elizabeth Gilbert reminds us, “Hospitality is the act of sharing one’s substance with kindness, graciousness, generosity, and genuine love (Luke 8:3). Just today in the midst of checking my son’s job of cleaning out the van, a man happened by with a child on his shoulders. He explained he had just run out of gas; his car was parked by the church across the way, and he asked if he could plea borrow some lawn mower gas just to get him to the nearby gas station. I had my eldest son run down to the shed and bring our lawn mower gas can with not much gas in it. We gladly gave the man what we had, and his immediate need was provided for. He brought back the gas can with more gas than it has held originally-a grateful man!”

So, how do you define hospitality? In what ways do you try to be hospitable to those around you? Share your thoughts in the comments and I will choose five of them to share in a post later in the week!

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This post is linked up at Time~Warp Wife

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Blank Day Planners in Purple and Green

Jan 6, 2012 by desiringvirtue

On Sunday I talked about how much I enjoyed Large Family Logistics and beginning to implement some of the “systems” into my daily routine. I made my new daily planner available for you to print out, but know that since it is so specific, many of you will not be able to use it.

However, I really liked the color scheme and lay out and wanted to make it more universal so that more of you would be able to use it. This planner also provides another option for those of you who use the Plan of Attack.

These printables follow the LFL model of focusing on one major task every day:

Monday: Laundry- try to get all of your laundry washed, folded, ironed, and put away before 4pm.

Tuesday: Kitchen- Deep clean your kitchen and do all of your food prep/freezer cooking/baking on this day.

Wednesday: Office- Do your budget, go over calendar, emails, internet research, menu plan, etc… on this day.

Thursday: Errands- Use this day to get all of your errands (including your grocery shopping) done on this day. Put your dinner in the crock pot before leaving home!

Friday: Clean- Dust, vacuum, and clean house.

Saturday: LFL recommends using Saturday for gardening, cleaning your vehicles, garage and such.

Sunday: The Lord’s Day- Let this be your day of rest and try to focus your heart on the Lord.

I hope that this printable will be helpful to you. Just scroll through the pages below and download from here!

Blank Day Planners (Purple and Green)

Make sure to check out all of Desiring Virtue’s Printables by clicking here!

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Preparing for the New Year and New Daily Planner Printables

Dec 30, 2011 by desiringvirtue

One of the most exciting (as well as practical) gifts I received this Christmas was Large Family Logistics: The Art and Science of Managing the Large Family. By most standards our family is still small (it is just the four of us at the moment), but this book is by no means just for the large family. In fact, I don’t think you have to have kids to be able to profit from this book and the wisdom shared within its gigantic pages (the size of this book is impressive in and of itself!). What this book offers is an insider’s look into one homemaker’s methods and systems as she goes about caring for a large family. It is a textbook of sorts on homemaking, a guide to organizing your life as a homemaker. This is something that I can benefit greatly from. Yes, as the years continue to pass I get wiser in the way I do things and I slowly begin to figure things out (things that usually amount to simple discipline on my part), but how much more helpful is it to have someone show you the ropes before you become overwhelmed? Sure, some days I feel overwhelmed already, but things are tame for the moment with only two children and neither of them homeschooling yet. More than anything I want to master some basic home management skills before my family gets any larger and and I begin homeschooling (this is when hyperventilating my enter into my daily routine). This is Kim’s purpose in writing the book. Listen to her heart:

“…I found that there are many young moms who are in the same position that I was-unprepared for keeping the home with lots of children. While women historically were equipped to be the caretakers of thriving, busy households when they reached maturity, most of today’s women are ill-equipped for such responsibility. this change has happened in the wake of feminism, which teaches young women that they can have a career and be a mom. Guidance counselors in the schools encourage those who enjoy children to be teachers or day care providers. Childbearing is an experience to have after practicing with a dog or cat for a few years. I read recently that in some circles chidden are an economic status symbol along with all the accouterments to buy for them.

When the Internet came along, I met many fellow casualties of feminism. I realized that I was not the only woman who desired to be a faithful homemaker who was crying out to God, “How do I do this?” That realization caused me to begin sharing my ideas through blog writing, articles, and, eventually, completing this book for this moms who were a step behind me in my journey of motherhood and home keeping. I am motivated to take the time to write now because the answer I often heard to my own question of “How?” was, “I don’t know, I just did it.” There’s truth in that answer-there are so many things that we need to just do-but I wanted specifics. the specifics pass into the deep recesses of our minds because often they are small tips, tricks, or ingrained hap its that require little thought. My goal is to write those things down for those who are struggling with “How?”‘

And so, I have been quickly searching through this fabulous resource for the how of actively managing my family. I say actively because it can become very easy to passively manage. You know what this is like: you begin to play more of a defensive role as the home manager, constantly making up for lost time and reacting to the day rather than planning out the day and successfully accomplishing all you set out to do.

Most of what Kim shares amounts to routine and setting a pattern of living and working within your home. She shares specific systems that she uses in order to manage her own large family and persuasive reasons for doing things in a like manner. Because of this I have decided to alter my daily routines to more closely aline with the one she prescribes in her book. She follows a similar “one focus a day” approach, but makes my previous attempts at the same system look pathetic in comparison. Her goals and expectations are much more detailed and assure that she will accomplish a finely tuned home. This is something that I long for. After spending some time in the book (preparing for a new year of homemaking) I typed up some new printables to fill my home management notebook with. They follow her system almost exactly (with a few modifications), focusing on one major household task a day.

Monday: Laundry Day

Tuesday: Kitchen Day

Wednesday: Office Day

Thursday: Town Day

Friday: Cleaning Day

Saturday: Outside Day (She refers to this day as Garden Day, but I have no garden… so yeah)

Sunday: The Lord’s Day

The biggest difference in this system to what I was doing the past is that most cleaning is reserved to one day of the week. There are daily cleaning tasks to be done, but Friday is reserved for getting down and dirty.

Also, she recommends focusing on one area of your home every week for doing Deep Cleaning (you know, the stuff you never ever do until it gets just terrible). In her family they do one thing in that area every day, but you could also do it all on cleaning day. I have decided to do it every day like she has and then catch up on Friday if needed. Examples of Focus Areas are bathrooms, living room and family room, bedrooms, etc… and examples of deep cleaning to do in those areas are things like declutter the area, catch cobwebs, dust ceiling fans, clean light switches, etc…

I also love the idea of having a day completely focused on paperwork, computer work, budgeting, menu planning and the like. This is what she refers to as Office Day and would really benefit my home management by encouraging me to be intentional and disciplined in these areas.

As the new year begins so does my prayer that the Lord would continue to empower me to serve my family well through the ministry of homemaking. I am thankful for the tips I am learning in this book and look forward to implementing more of them in the future.

If you follow Kim’s plan, or are looking forward to reading the book in the future, you can download and print my printables below for your own use. I am sure that I will be modifying them in the future as I try out this method and tweak it to better serve our family, but this is a good starting point. Please let me know if you find any typos or have any suggestions!

Day Planners

I can’t recommend Large Family Logistics enough. If you are looking for some inspiration and motivation for your homemaking, I would encourage you to check it out!

Also, if you are looking for some less specific printables to organize yourself with this new year, check out these Daily Plan of Attack printables.

Other printables you may be interested in:

Weekly Menu Plan,

Running To-Do List,

Websites and Passwords

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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It’s All Just Too Much

Oct 21, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Do you ever get overwhelmed by all of the awesomeness on the internet?

It used to be you would flip through a Good Housekeeping or Parenting magazine once a month, dog ear the projects you wanted to tackle, and then maybe get around to one of them before the next issue came out. Now we daily browse our beloved bookmarked blogs for the latest crafts, decorating advice, educational materials, spiritual encouragement, and parental vision (to name a few… oh yeah, and marital advice!).

Everyone has something to share, whether it is their latest whole food kick or their super awesome advice for “re-igniting” that flame between you and your husband. If you spend much time on the internet (and specifically around the women blogs, DV included) it can be easy to become overwhelmed by all the things you need to do to be a better you.

On a side note: Have you ever noticed that the man blogs out there are drastically different? You don’t see Albert Mohler talking about the Best Lawn Cutting Technique He Just Figured Out and Why You Should Try It Too, or Tim Challies blogging about his All Natural Hair Gel and Its Positive Effects on the Environment…

Sometimes I think we need to step back and decide what we are going to focus on. Are we going to be women who focus on all the “projects” we want to accomplish in a day or are we going to focus on the Risen Lord and serving his Kingdom for his glory? The two are not always mutually exclusive, but sometimes that list of bookmarked blogs can get in the way of hearing that still small voice of the Holy Spirit meant to refresh and inspire our inner being. We can miss what the Lord himself is calling us to do while browsing through what Simple Mom or Passionate Homemaking (two blogs I LOVE) are encouraging us to do (in five easy steps!).

Blog feeds.

Twitter feeds.

Facebook updates.

Delicious accounts.

Pins…. (Oh the many beautiful pins!)

Sometimes it is all too much.

Sometimes, many times, most times, we need less of the internet and more of the Lord himself influencing our day. Something tells me that if we spent as much time in prayer as we do pinning things and tweeting things, we would be much better homemakers, parents, wives, neighbors, evangelists, and church members. Have you ever compared the amount of time you spend on the internet being inspired with the amount of time you spend on your knees begging the Lord to shape and mold your day? He is the one with the real power to change you, to accomplish his glorious will in your life, to create the servant’s heart you desire, and yet he is the one we most often neglect. We are more often directed by what our favorite blogs put before us than what the Holy Spirit is prompting us to do.

God doesn’t have a pretty home page decorated with delicate flowers and victorian beauties, but unlike another “How To” article he offers soul-satisfying, peace-inducing, life-altering communion that will leave you feeling complete rather than burdened.

The internet is a gift filled with good things. Let us be careful to not choose the good things above the best thing.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

(Matthew 6:25-32; Matthew 6:33 ESV)

But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

(Matthew 22:34-36; Matthew 22:37-39 ESV)

Surely the best homemakers (those with the most lasting spiritual impact on those around them) are those who spend the most time on their knees seeking the Lord’s direction for their homes and not scouring the internet for Five More Steps to a More Peaceful Family Life.

Let’s be those homemakers, women who love the Lord above all else and desire his Spirit to guide and direct our days.

“One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove at the Last Day that prayerlessness was not from lack of time.” (John Piper)

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Crumbs on the Toaster

Aug 3, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Occasionally I decide to pick up an old, but treasured post from the dusty shelf and share it with you once again. Maybe it is the first time for you to read it, or maybe you’ve seen it before. In either case I pray that it will be an encouragement to your heart today as it is to mine.

I stood in my kitchen looking at the mess of crumbs on our toaster. I giggled inside as I thought about the fact that this little mess didn’t even bother my husband. In fact, I am pretty sure that its need for a deep cleaning was the last thing on his radar. It was at that moment that I was reminded of a story I once read. I forget exactly what book it came from, but it is one of those stories that stuck with me.

There was a woman who, in an effort to please her husband, asked if there was anything specific he would like her to do around the house that she hadn’t already been doing. She was a good housekeeper and their home was generally clean on most days. Without hesitation he said, “The dust on top of the fridge. It is terrible.” Since their wedding day she had kept a tidy home, but had never thought to clean the top of the fridge because she could not see it. Her husband however, who was a tall man, could see it every day; it wasn’t important to her, but it was to him.

I like to get down to the nitty gritty when I’m cleaning. To me it is more important to make sure the furniture is dusted than to pick up a few scattered toys left out by my children. My husband is the exact opposite. He is just fine with the dust that accumulates on a daily basis, but feels noticeably uncomfortable when things are out of order.

This battle of priorities has been a real struggle for me. I have had to learn (and am still learning) to defer to his preferences rather than my own. If I have to choose between doing the dishes or picking up the pile of paper I left on the desk, I will usually choose the dishes because it seems to be a more pressing matter (after all we need clean dishes to eat off of and they really stink!). What I should be thinking is “When Richard gets home, what decision will allow him to rest and relax better” In our home this means that I need to make sure to pick up the papers I left on the desk before worrying about the dishes. This is not only a way to defer to my husband’s tastes, but in so doing a way to honor him as the head of our home.

For some husbands crumbs on the toaster would be a pet peeve, but to my husband they mean nothing. So I am learning to accept them when necessary, knowing that my goal is to put others before myself, even in the simple tasks of homemaking.

Is there anything that you and your husband don’t agree on when it comes to the household duties? How are you learning to defer to your husband’s desires, or for that matter anyone else’s?

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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10 Ways to Ease Into a Natural Body (Pt. 2)

Jul 27, 2011 by Katie

If you missed yesterday’s post, make sure to catch up with Part 1 of 10 Ways to Ease Into a Natural Body!

6. Learn about sweating and deodorants.

Look up the deodorant you’re using on the Skin Deep website. Deodorants seem to be one of the most unhealthy beauty products we all use! There are several alternatives to the nasty deodorants, including a brand called Crystal Body. I’ve never used it, but a trusted source has, loves it, and it’s a “0″ on Skin Deep! My source suggests the roll on.

A note on sweating: Nobody likes to sweat, I know. However, sweating is the way that God designed our bodies to get rid of the nasty stuff it doesn’t need. If you have a serious sweating problem (like I used to) you’re probably using the harshest chemicals you can find to combat the “problem.” Can I give you a suggestion? Stop trying to combat it. Pick two weeks where you don’t have anything super strenuous or way stressful (yea, right, I know), wait until it’s fairly cool outside, etc. and try a natural deodorant. It’ll probably take a good two weeks for your body to level itself out and get the nasty chemicals (usually aluminum. seriously.) out of your body. You just may see that you sweat way less than you thought you would. It’s just like everything else natural–once you stop striping your body of the way it’s supposed to be naturally, your body straightens itself out!

7. Figure out what fluoride really does & find a better toothpaste.

“Fluoride is any combination of elements containing the fluoride ion. In its elemental form, fluorine is a pale yellow, highly toxic and corrosive gas. In nature, fluorine is found combined with minerals as fluorides. It is the most chemically active nonmetallic element of all the elements and also has the most reactive electro-negative ion. Because of this extreme reactivity, fluorine is never found in nature as an uncombined element.” -Andreas Schuld in his Fluoride: Worse that We Thought for the Weston A. Price Foundation

Unfortunately there are very few inexpensive toothpastes on the market that are fluoride-free. Hopefully that will soon change as consumers begin to learn what fluoride really is and really does, but for now, it seems we’re resigned to making our own. My favorite recipe for toothsoap (safe for kiddos one year old and older! Just don’t use anything but water until your babies are one!) uses Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap (again, we use the Baby Mild).

Dr. Bronner’s Toothpaste Recipe:

1 Tbsp Dr. Bronner’s Baby Mild Liquid Soap
5 Tbsp coconut oil
1 Tbsp or more olive oil or water – to get the consistency you want – this makes it pourable to put in the soap dispenser
Essential oil (20-25 drops), use spearmint or peppermint or orange—or a combination. For a while we didn’t se any oil and it was . . . okay . . .
Stevia, to sweeten to your taste – a few dashes or so works

Directions: Mix together and store in a pump bottle.

8. Make-up your face healthy!

Ahhh, make-up . . . so difficult to live without it, but, as you now know because you’ve studied it on Skin Deep, it’s really so bad for you! I love my make-up, though. I get all my make-up from Everyday Minerals. They get a 1-3 for all their products on Skin Deep and it’s actually a great product! I used the huge, gigantic mineral make-up company’s makeup for years before I switched to Everyday Minerals, and I think it covers my face much better than the big nasty company!

9. Only wash your hair every other day.

This is the same idea behind not washing your face and being okay with sweating. Your scalp has natural chemicals that need to get out. By washing your hair with man-made chemicals every day, you’re stripping your hair of its natural oils, your body is over-compensating, and creating way more oil than it needs to, and your hair is probably much greasier than it would be if you cut out half the shampooing. Again, it will take your hair a couple weeks to regulate itself, but it’s worth it!

You may be wondering where my fantastic alternative to shampoo is? I don’t have one. I’ve tried everything: natural companies, baking soda, apple cider vinegar—everything. I’m just not satisfied with any of it. So here’s a secret: currently I’m using Pantene Pro-V! Wait, that’s like a FOUR on Skin Deep! It’s unnatural! It’s unhealthy! I know! But I just can’t find anything natural I like. And natural living is a preference—it’s a choice—it’s not even a “gray area!” All that to say, no. I have no natural alternative to shampoo. It’s bummer, yes, but that’s the way it is. I’m still going to Heaven, chemical-ridden hair and all!

10. Take it slow! Be patient. Find a balance.

The hardest thing for me about easing into natural living is that I didn’t ease into it at all. I tried to jump in head first and I just ended up getting frustrated because I either didn’t understand or couldn’t afford whatever it was I wanted to do. Learn from me! If you’re just starting out, go slow! Pick one or two things to switch this month. Then maybe add a third next month. Be patient! The most important thing is not that you switch to a natural deodorant. You’ve been using aluminum since you were 12. A few more months—or even a year—won’t kill you. Find a balance!

This list does not include every singe alternative or every single thing you might want to know about. It’s just a starting point. There’s so much more to learn about when it comes to natural living for your body and it’s my hope that in the coming months I’ll be able to help you think through even more aspects of a natural body. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, please leave a comment!

As Katie has studied and learned more and more about what it means to be a godly woman, she has become passionate about cultivating her home, the health of her family, and her heart for the Lord. Through these pursuits, she has begun to learn about living a more natural life. Her husband, her son, and she live north of Houston where they attempt a modern-day natural lifestyle, joyfully serve at their church, run a photography business, and enjoy just spending time with each other. You can find more tips for living a natural lifestyle while loving Jesus every step of the way at homehealthheart.wordpress.com.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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10 Ways to Ease Into a Natural Body (Pt. 1)

Jul 26, 2011 by Katie

Last time I told you why natural living matters to me. Hopefully that sparked some of your interests and maybe you desire to know how you can begin to live more naturally. The first area of natural living that I learned about was beauty products-things that go on our bodies. My hope is that this list will help you ease into a world of Natural Living when it comes to your body and your family’s bodies.

1. Learn about the products your currently using.

Visit the site Skin Deep and search for what you are currently using on your body. You may be surprised at the results. You can also use this site to find better store-bought alternatives than what you’re currently using. Make sure to check the products you’re using on your kiddos too!

2. Get rid of the toxic stuff.

Once you research what you’re currently using you may find that some of the items you thought were safe aren’t. Well, get rid of them! If a product is scored 7-10, it’s no good! I know we can find you a better alternative.

3. Switch to coconut oil.

Coconut oil is a staple in any natural lifestyle. It can be used for just about anything (including cooking!). Use coconut oil as a natural alternative to lotion, moisturizer, eye make-up remover, shaving gel, hair conditioner, and even hair gel! It’s safe on baby too (use as lotion and diaper rash cream)! I buy our virgin coconut oil online from Mountain Rose Herbs.

*A couple notes on coconut oil: it’s solid under about 76 degrees, never fear, just rub it in your palms and it will turn to liquid quickly! Use Refined Coconut Oil for your body and Unrefined Coconut Oil for cooking.

4. Find an alternative body wash.

The soap you use goes all over your body-if you don’t think that is such a big deal, rub some garlic on the bottom of your feet and notice how quickly you can taste it! The products we put on our body matter. The best soap I’ve found is Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap. We use Baby Mild so we can all use the same soap. We dilute it 1:1 with water and use loofahs to suds it up.

5. Stop washing your face.

I know it sounds crazy. I know. Just stay with me. First, a good reason to stop washing your face is because there are probably nasty chemicals in your face wash. Check it out on Skin Deep if you don’t believe me. Second, that adult acne that you just can’t explain? Yea, it’s probably hanging out on your face because you’re stripping your face of its natural chemicals. Your face is overproducing oil in an attempt to combat the synthetic chemicals you use to scrub away the natural chemicals every morning and evening! It’s not good for you! I suggest that you stop washing your face. Let me tell you where I started with this whole idea and then I’ll tell you about my current facial routine.

The Oil Cleaning Method

Basically, you mix Castor Oil (in the laxative section of the drug store-usually the bottom shelf) and some other kind of oil. Sunflower oil is the recommended type of oil to use (I get mine from organicdirect.com), but initially I used Extra Virgin Olive Oil and it worked just fine. I mixed 15% Caster Oil to 85% EVOO (1 1/2 tsp Caster Oil to 2 5/6 Tbs EVOO), which works for my skin type, but if you have super dry skin, you’ll want less Caster Oil. If you have really oily skin you’ll want more Caster Oil. You’ll just have to experiment with the mixture. After mixing the two oils together you can store them in a glass bottle.

Go to The Oil Cleansing Method website and scroll to the bottom for the step-by-step directions. It really is a great and relaxing thing to do. I cleansed my face this way for about five months and had really great results. After two initial weeks of my face rebalancing its chemicals, my face was super soft and super clear. I’d really encourage you to try this.

Water

Then I got really sick during my pregnancy and just gave up. I started simply rinsing my face with water every morning and every evening. Lo and behold my face was clear throughout my entire pregnancy. Now, it could have been the hormones, but if you already have fairly clear skin, you may want to try just water.

The Oil Cleansing Method Remix

Recently my face has been much drier than I would like. So I’ve gone back to using the same oil mixture that I used when I did the Oil Cleansing Method, but I’ve simplified the process and it works for me! What I do now is rinse my face with water after a shower and then pour a small line of the oil mixture onto my middle finger about as long as 2/3 of it. I gently rub the oil onto my finger tips and then rub and pat the mixture onto my face (as you would a moisturizer). I let the oils seep into my skin (as long as it takes me to brush my teeth) and then I put my make-up on over the oil. At night I just rinse my face with water. If I’m feeling like my face is too dry, I might put some oil on my face again at night like I do in the mornng. It’s working great and I love my skin right now! Plus, it’s really easy and simple and cheap!

Check back tomorrow for part 2 and five more steps to ease you into natural living!

As Katie has studied and learned more and more about what it means to be a godly woman, she has become passionate about cultivating her home, the health of her family, and her heart for the Lord. Through these pursuits, she has begun to learn about living a more natural life. Her husband, her son, and she live north of Houston where they attempt a modern-day natural lifestyle, joyfully serve at their church, run a photography business, and enjoy just spending time with each other. You can find more tips for living a natural lifestyle while loving Jesus every step of the way at homehealthheart.wordpress.com.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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DV’s Home Management Printables

Jul 20, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Today I am going to give you a quick break down of all Desiring Virtue’s Home Management Printables. I began creating these when I simply couldn’t find any planners/organizers/printables that were right for me. I needed something simple and inspirational to get me going and accomplish all those everyday tasks that need to get done. I also wanted to be able to include spiritual goals in my daily planning.

As a result, Desiring Virtue’s Home Management Printables were born. Since publishing them on Scribd many other women have downloaded them and used them in their own home management binders (notice that they are each offset to allow for binder rings) and I pray that they will be a blessing to you as well.

So without further ado, here are the brief summaries of each printable:

The Original Plan of Attack:

Features:

~ Cute Design to get you excited about planning out your week/day

~ Expanded Sunday planner for weekly goal setting and reflection

~ Two days per page to save on ink and paper

~ Four different options so that you can find one that suits you!

Versions:

1. Desiring Virtue’s Plan of Attack- This is my personal plan of attack and has my goals for the day listed so that I need not fill them in every day. Each day there is a different “big goal” (i.e. clean the bathroom, dust, etc…) and my laundry days alternate. This plan also features some devotional goals such as quiet times, family worship, and scripture memory.

2. Customizable Plan of Attack- This version leaves a little more room for your daily to-dos yet keeps the bare bones of things that must get done every day so that things like dishes don’t have to be written over and over again. It does not include any devotional goals so as to allow for your own.

3. Customizable Plan of Attack Including Devotional Goals- This version is the same as version number two, but keeps the devotional goals of version number one.

4. Blank Plan of Attack- A completely blank version with optimal customizability.

You can browse through these versions here:

~~

How You Get It:

DV Printables are absolutely free. Simply click on the “download” link to download these high quality printables to your own computer and print out at your leisure. This link will take you to Scribd. where you will need to create a free account or connect with your Facebook account to gain access to my printables. You can also print directly from this site by clicking the “Print” and then “Print Standard Quality” link (however these printouts won’t be the highest quality). In either case make sure to select which pages you want to print (which version) before printing or you will print all four versions!

Just Today’s Plan of Attack:

Features:

~ One day at a time view

~ More space for long to-do lists

What Next? The Practical Side to Transitioning Home

Jul 12, 2011 by Amy

Last time I was here, I talked about how I began my journey to homemaking. Once I came to the decision to be a homemaker full time, what was I to do? Obviously, I couldn’t just jump up from my desk chair shouting, “God is sending me home now! Nice knowing y’all!” I have the sort of job where others depend upon me, so just deciding to go home one night and never coming back would hurt others in my office as well as hurt clients.

What I needed next was a plan. Today I am going to share that plan with you in the hope that it might aid someone else wondering “What’s next?” in their journey home.

1.) Pray – I cannot say this enough. Making the change from office to home has been (and continues to be) a huge transition and bringing it to the Lord daily has made all the difference for us. There are so many things to pray over- focusing my heart on the home, strength to accept God’s leading in the financial changes that come with a transition home, prayers for discernment in knowing how God would have me use my talents at home, and so on.

2.) Consult Your Husband at All Times – Obviously, it should go without saying that I wouldn’t just drop everything and decide to come home on my own without my husband’s involvement, consent and support. This is a decision to be made with one’s husband as well as one to bring to God in prayer.

3.) Consider What a Change of Income Will Look Like – Before I even started transitioning home, my husband and I had to prayerfully consider the finances of such a move. If only one of us is working, that is a significant loss of household income. I have skills that may very well be of use to generate income while working in the home, but that still takes time to establish and cannot be guaranteed. On the plus side, if I am working in the home, I do not need lots of suits, dress shoes and all the other accoutrements of a professional worker. I also would no longer be spending quite so much on gas as I would not need to drive all over town for work anymore.

Even before transitioning home, it is important to sit down with your spouse, go over the bills and bank accounts, and set up a realistic financial plan. Going through books such as 1/2 Price Living by Ellie Kay or The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn and talking to a trusted financial planner helped us to come up with ways to cut costs and put a budget in place even before I started cutting my work hours. While this has meant lifestyle changes, I have to admit that I feel more at peace simplifying my life than I did when I worked full-time and felt like my husband and I were pulling in different directions.

4.) Break the News at Work – This was a huge practical hurdle to transitioning home that caused me lots of stress in the beginning. How was I going to tell my boss what I planned to do? There’s really no one-size-fits-all solution on how to do this. I would simply advise setting up a private meeting with your supervisor(s) and explaining the news clearly and honestly, being sure to let them know that you do not plan to leave the office in the lurch and offering to put together a plan for your exit. Be prepared to hear from your boss that the office may simply want to have you leave in 2-4 weeks and that’s it, so keep that in mind when timing your meeting with the boss.

Other workplaces will be more willing to work with you on a gradual transition; This is particularly true in professions where you may have specialized skills and be needed to train a new employee. In my case, I have some ongoing projects that are in the process of being finished as I transition out. My boss and I have set up a plan to gradually let me go from 4 days a week, to 3, to 2 and then 1. I’ve been on this track for 7 months and should be fully home sometime in 2012.

5.) Utilize Your Support Network – This is another practical consideration. Going it alone, particularly in this type of transition, would be very daunting. I highly recommend being open about your plan to family and close friends as they can be a great source of emotional support. The older women in your life can often be a helpful source of homemaking advice as well!

6.) Schedule Your Time! – Just as you need a financial plan to transition home smoothly, you’ll need an action plan for your homemaking as well. Prayerfully consider how God will have you serve from home. It can be very easy to find yourself overscheduled in church groups and volunteer work if you are not mindful of how you will spend your time. If you have children, obviously their needs will dictate much of how your time will be spent. However, even if you do not have children, I can tell you from esperience that it is extremely easy to underestimate how much time it will take you to care for the home and minister to your spouse. Again, setting up the schedule before the actual move home makes the whole process go much more smoothly and it also helps you set goals for the work of ministering in the home.

If you’re contemplating a move from office to home, I hope you find this helpful. I would be thrilled to hear from you; if you have any other questions about the practical side of this transition, please let me know in the comments and I’ll answer as best I can.

After several years of trying to balance the management of her home with being a professional woman, Amy is in the process of transitioning home to serve primarily as a homemaker. She now lives with her husband in the Washington DC area where she is enjoying the challenges of figuring out how to make a house a home. Hint: It’s requiring a much broader skill set than she or many other people would have ever dreamed! In her spare time, she enjoys travel, reading, and serving in her church. You can follow her adventures at MakingAJoyfulHome.blogspot.com.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Why Natural Living Matters to Me

Jul 7, 2011 by Katie

It is my pleasure to introduce you to a dear friend of mine today. Her name is Katie and she authors the blog Home|Health|Heart. I have known Katie for many years and am so blessed by her honest desire to please the Lord in every area of her life. She is going to be contributing to Desiring Virtue with posts that focus on Natural Living. Please welcome her to the blog and be encouraged today to take care of your body for the glory of the Lord!

It was two summers ago that I became interested in living a more natural life. At first it was incredibly overwhelming and intimidating. At the time I was on my summer break from teaching high school freshmen about world geography. My sister-in-law was dipping her big toe into the realm of natural living and I couldn’t decide if I thought she was crazy or if I wanted to join her.

Clearly I joined her, but it wasn’t an overnight transformation. A blog that made a tremendous difference in my life—the one I will always attribute to helping me think biblically about the world of living naturally—and one that I would recommend to anyone, is Passionate Homemaking. Lindsey (the author) is so balanced in her convictions and so helpful in her explanations. It wasn’t long before I was searching her blog systematically and copying and pasting her ideas and recipes to make my own natural living binder.

Fast forward two years: my natural living binder has become a homemaking binder and if I ever lose it I think I would be resigned to sitting on the floor crying because I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. (Do you remember the Frog and Toad story where Toad loses his list? Yea. That’s me.)

But I digress . . . After nine months of switching to whole grains, raw milk, and baking soda for just about everything, I reached the end of the road, or so it seemed. I was working full time, three months pregnant with all-day sickness (why is it called “morning” sickness, anyway?) and the next step in my natural living journey involved soaking grains and making my own bread (both of which even at that point seemed ridiculous). I had to take a break from growing in the area of natural living.

This time off was exactly what I needed. It gave me time to ponder the reason I was attempting to live a more natural life in the first place. Was it for my husband? For myself? For my sister-in-law? For the Lord? For the ladies at my church who also live naturally? What was my motive behind natural living and was it really that important to me? Needless to say, the answer became, “Yes! Natural living is important to me!” A year ago, though, the answer would have been, “No . . . I’m trying to live naturally to impress others.”

The Lord, I believe, made it so that I just didn’t have the time or energy to continue in my efforts towards natural living so that He could show me my true motive in wanting a natural life to begin with. As I began working through the sin in my heart and searching the Scriptures He gave me a freedom from others’ approval that I had never known. In addition, he gave me a precious, tiny baby boy and I desperately wanted to keep him as pure and healthy as possible. At the same time He gave me the time and energy to continue learning about natural living—but this time, with a whole new motive:

Today, natural living matters to me because I care about what goes into and onto my body and the bodies of my family.

Natural living matters to me because I want to be a good steward of my resources: my time, energy, money, land, home, body, and talents.

Natural living matters to me because I love the way it feels to know without a doubt that the clothes we’re wearing, the food we’re eating, the lotion we’re using (the list goes on and on), are healthy for us—I don’t even have to worry about my son getting into some toxic bottle of nasty because it doesn’t exist in our home.

Natural living matters to me because the more I learn about what is put in many store bought cleaning agents and food the more I believe in the importance of an alternative.

But most of all and more importantly than anything else natural living matters to me because I truly believe that it matters to my Lord.

“Whaaaaaat!? Did she just say that Jesus cares about whether we are healthy or not!?!?!?!” I DID! I did say that!

First, let me remind you of the need for balance in our lives. It is wrong, of course, to make natural living an idol (stay tuned for a post about that in a few months). I would never want anyone to become so obsessed—so absorbed, or so involved—with living naturally that it takes away their time, talent, or treasure from the Lord or His purposes for their life. And neither would He, for that matter.

However, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” In context Paul is talking about sexual immorality, but I believe we can look at these two verses as a general principle: we are to take care of our bodies. Well known commentator, Matthew Henry, says about these verses, “our bodies were made for God, they were purchased for him, he inhabits and occupies them by his Spirit. They have been redeemed from merited sacrifice of Christ. The temple of the Holy Ghost must be kept holy. Our body must be kept fit for his use and residence.” A slothful, gluttonous, it’s-my-body-and-I’ll-do-with-it-what-I-want attitude is not keeping it fit for His use! We are to care for our bodies—we are to be healthy.

The important thing to remember is the reason we glorify God in our bodies. To be beautiful? To feel good? Simply because we’re told to? No! It’s because our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit! He is in us! He is a gift from God! Our bodies are not our own! We have been bought with a price! Sweet, sweet Jesus died for us! What amazing grace!—that is the motivation behind glorifying God with my body. That is the motivation behind natural living. And that is why natural living matters to me.

As Katie has studied and learned more and more about what it means to be a godly woman, she has become passionate about cultivating her home, the health of her family, and her heart for the Lord. Through these pursuits, she has begun to learn about living a more natural life. Her husband, her son, and she live north of Houston where they attempt a modern-day natural lifestyle, joyfully serve at their church, run a photography business, and enjoy just spending time with each other. You can find more tips for living a natural lifestyle while loving Jesus every step of the way at homehealthheart.wordpress.com.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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When You Get Stuff, You Get Papers

Jul 6, 2011 by desiringvirtue

While Richard was attending Southern Baptist Theological Seminary I was able to take a few of the Seminary Wives Institute classes which are taught by professors and professor’s wives. The classes ranged from theology to practical homemaking and were such a tremendous blessing. One of the courses I took was taught by Albert Mohler’s wife, Mary. It focused on organization (something that has always been a difficult thing for me…) and I took away so many practical lessons from it!

Today I want to share one of the simple tips that Mary suggested to us. It specifically applies to all those manuals, important receipts, and warranties that come with all of the stuff you accumulate over the years. From furniture to electronics to baby gear there are so many products that it can be helpful to save information for. Previously I would have simply tossed those papers into the trash can immediately… or held on to it for a couple weeks to make myself feel better and then tossed them while no one was looking.

Well, when Mary Mohler suggests that you do something… you do it, so I quickly stole one of my hubby’s fabulously manly, boring binders (really I am ashamed to put a picture up of it) and filled it with page protectors.

Every time we got a new item (a digital camera, a car seat, a stroller, etc…) I immediately stuffed all of that product’s papers into one of the sleeves. No order, no fuss, just stuck it in there. I suppose if you really wanted to you could make different categories and such, but I didn’t. This is really a low stress organizational tool .

On most days this big binder just hangs out in the very back of the desk drawer, but more often than you might think we pull it out to retrieve a manual for an item we are selling on Craigslist, or a warranty for an item that breaks, or a receipt for an item we decide to return. It has come in handy many times! Plus it makes you feel super smug when your husband says, “I wish we still had the manual for this…” and you pull it out of your handy binder with a smile!

So if you are ever thinking “Maybe I should keep this…” when you open a new product, keep it! But don’t put it somewhere you will never find it! Instead, just stick it in a binder and never think of it again…until you need it!

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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The Gospel Empowered Homemaker

Jun 29, 2011 by desiringvirtue

There are a couple of pieces I’ve written recently that are published elsewhere and not on the main Desiring Virtue feed which I would like to share with you today. They really define what this site is all about and I pray that they would be an encouragement to your soul today as we seek to put Christ at the center of our homemaking.

Is Proverbs 31 Attainable?

We’ve all thought it as we respectfully highlight and underline our way through Proverbs 31: “Who is this woman, and why does she have to be so perfect?” I’m sure you would agree that she sets a pretty high standard for the rest of us imperfect wives! Often I find myself rebuked and discouraged after reading through this foundational piece of instruction for my calling as a God fearing wife.

But let me ask you a question: Isn’t this the case with our Christian lives in general? Aren’t we called to the highest standards as children of the Lord? Displaying the character of Christ is not exactly an easy thing to do; in fact it is impossible in this fleshly body. This truth, however, does not change the fact that we are called to live out Christ’s holiness in our everyday life!

I was first encouraged to relate these two callings by a very wise man leading a marriage class at our church. “Wives,” he said, “when you feel like you will never be the Proverbs 31 Woman, remember that you are also called to walk as Jesus walked, which is a far more difficult task.” Jesus is the incarnation of Wisdom in every area of life, the Proverbs 31 woman is simply an example of a wise homemaker… Keep Reading At Time~Warp Wife

Why Desiring Virtue?

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”(Proverbs 31:10)

The truth is, the standard set by the virtuous woman found in Proverbs is completely impossible. No woman can attain her level of industry, sacrifice, and benevolence. She is set in the our lives as a north star, guiding us to our heavenly calling as Christ-exalting homemakers. Her excellence and virtue stand as desirable, yet unattainable goals for all of us imperfect women who respectfully highlight and mark our way through Proverbs 31.

Yet the author and creator of this beautiful woman was the Lord himself.He fashioned her virtuous qualities after his very own holy character. The wisdom displayed in her skills as a homemaker is the same wisdom the Bible continually instructs us to cultivate as redeemed people, as citizens of a heavenly kingdom.

Our homemaking is not outside the realm of grace. The gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ is the only power, the only reason we can smile at this woman found in Proverbs and confidently model our lives after her. As the Word of God washes over us and transforms our lives, moment by moment, through the working of the Holy Spirit, our desire to be virtuous women will come to fruition… Keep Reading At About Desiring Virtue

Photo Credit: The Housewife

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Make Bread, Save Some Dough!

Jun 16, 2011 by Julie

It all began when my parents gave us their bread machine a few months ago…

Me being the most experimental of their children when it comes to cooking, they knew I would make good use of it. I was delighted to be the recipient of such a fabulous small appliance and couldn’t wait to take on the new adventure of bread making! There’s just nothing quite like the taste of fresh baked bread!

I started out by making this Homemade Bread for Beginners recipe I found on MoneySavingMom.com. It was so easy to make! The most challenging part for me was just learning how my machine operated, as the order of ingredients, or cycles, can vary between machines. Like Crystal mentions in her post, I too prefer to use the dough cycle on the machine and then bake the loaf in the oven (rather than inside the machine) as the end outcome is more favorable. Figuring this out by my second or third attempt, I had perfected it!

Me being the carb-lover I am, and my husband being the sandwich fanatic he is, I tend to make at least a loaf a week for my husband and I to have as sandwich bread for lunches. Although we’ve tried other wheat bread recipes, this one still remains our favorite.

One of the most tangible benefits of this process is the monetary savings that comes with making our bread at home each week. Beforehand, we were spending an average of $2.50 a loaf each week for wheat bread. By purchasing the ingredients in bulk, the cost for making a loaf at home is well under a dollar. That’s a savings of anywhere between $78 and $104 a year. Keep in mind that this calculated savings is for sandwich bread alone. Having a bread machine on hand, the possibilities of what you can create for less are endless, but that’s an entirely different post

If you are looking into purchasing a bread machine for yourself, I’ve found the average retail price for a new one to be around $60.00 for a basic model. Of course there is always the potential of finding a better deal online, however, I would recommend first trying to find one “like new” at a yard sale, on Craigslist, or eBay as it would be an opportunity to save even more!

What household find has been the most beneficial to your budget?

Join in on the conversation by posting a comment!

A self-proclaimed foodie, Julie’s love of cooking and her travel experiences have sent her on a quest for creativity in the kitchen! Julie and her husband James live just outside of Dallas, Texas where they share a passion for serving others through their local church. As the Turner’s are newlyweds, Julie chronicles their journey together on their family blog www.theturnyeahs.tumblr.com

Don’t forget to enter the Seasons of Life Giveaway. Prize options include books from Elisabeth Elliot, Paul David Tripp, and Elyse Fitzpatrick! Click here to visit the giveaway page…

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Running To Do List Printable

May 25, 2011 by desiringvirtue

I use this printable to keep track of all the crazy stuff going around in my head. This handy to do list hangs out at the front of my home management binder so that I can refer to it while planning out my day or upcoming week. It is simple, but cute and matches all of Desiring Virtue’s other home management printables! Happy planning!

Running To Do List

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Key-Holder Memo Board

Apr 26, 2011 by Savannah

I am so excited to introduce you to Savannah. I have long admired her craftiness through Facebook pictures and when concidering adding a DIY contributor, she was the first person on my mind. I quickly shot her an email and was thrilled when she agreed to be a contributer to Desiring Virtue. Please welcome her to the blog and enjoy her fabulous projects!

This is an easy home craft I came up with after finally tackling two small problems I run into every morning:

1.) My daily reminders getting lost in a sea of papers on the fridge

and…

2.) The ever frustrating question of “Have you seen my keys?”

So after finally getting fed up with the 5-10 minute scavenger hunt in the morning and a starving husband at work, I decided to combine the two problems into a simple (and stylish) solution! I’m calling it the “key-holder memo board!” (Not the most creative name, I know!)

Now, I am sure I am not the only one who loves to make life a little more organized, so here is how you can make your own, and take a small step to a more stress-free morning!

Here are the materials you will need:

Unfinished wood chalkboard (you can find these on sale at Hobby Lobby for about 1.00!)
Scrapbook paper
Mod Podge (I prefer the “matte finish” kind)
Coordinating colored craft paint
Sponge brush and small paint brush
Cup hooks (you can find these in the hardware section at Home Depot or even Walmart)
Newspaper (Its always a good idea to cover your work surface. Especially when dealing with paint or mod podge!)

Step 1:

Paint the outer edges with a little of the craft paint. Its okay if you paint onto the front of the frame- this will eventually be covered by the scrapbook paper. Let dry at least 10 minutes.

Step 2:

After the paint is dry, lay the chalkboard flat on the blank side of the scrapbook paper to trace the outline. Cut this out carefully along the line. It is important that you get as exact a shape as possible.

Step 3:

Placing the scrapbook paper cut out down on the front of the chalkboard, carefully press along the inside edge of the frame to create a light indention on the paper. I’ve found this is the easiest and most accurate way to get the inside cutout.

Step 4:

This should give you a nice line to guide your cutting of the inside rectangle. Carefully cut this section out.

Step 5:

Now that you have your frame shape in the scrapbook paper, take the foam brush and the mod podge and lightly brush a layer of the glue around the entire frame. (Don’t worry if this glue gets on the chalkboard, or drips on the outside of the frame- it dries clear, and peels right off)

On a side note, I have somewhat of an unhealthy obsession with Mod Podge. I blame it on my passion for crafting- or maybe the fact that it is really fun to peel off of your hands when it dries! You will probably notice this favored adhesive of mine making its appearance in many future posts… In my mind, it is the most essential staple in my craft box!

Step 6:

Immediately take your paper cutout and position it on top of the frame making sure to line it up on all sides and smooth out any “air pockets” that may form underneath the paper.

Step 7:

Take the foam brush and a bit of mod podge and once again smooth on a layer of adhesive on top of the paper- This sort of seals it to the frame, plus gives it a nice finish. (You may finds a few air bubbles trying to make their way underneath the paper. Just smooth these out with your fingers (I never said this wasn’t a messy project!)

Step 8:

After letting the glue dry about 10 minutes, take your cup hooks and decide where you will place them. I have four sets of keys to hang, so that is why I chose four cup hooks. You can choose to have just two or up to six. Screwing in the cup hooks took a little more work than I thought, so you will need to apply quite a bit of presser as you are twisting in each hook. My cup hooks were slightly longer than the depth of the frame, so I stopped just a bit short of screwing the entire hook in.

Step 9:

Now all that’s left to do is find the perfect place for your new key-hanger-memo-board! This goes great in an entryway, or right by the door!

Enjoy a stress free morning by not having to worry where you left your keys or hoping your husband remembers to pack that lunch you made with love early in the morning!

Make sure to “Like” Desiring Virtue on Facebook so that you never miss a DIY post from Savannah!

Savannah developed a love for all things crafty after her first macaroni necklace in kindergaten. She now shares her pashion for beautiful things with her high school Fashion Design and Interior Design students. She lives with husband Greg in Houston, Texas who (mostly) doesn’t mind the sewing supplies occupying the dinner table… and coffee table… and sometimes half the couch! In their spare time, they love doing anything and everything outdoors and serving in their church’s worship band. You can keep up with her busy life at SimplySavannah.blogspot.com

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Easter Traditions

Apr 5, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—how on the day that you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, the Lord said to me, “Gather the people to me, that I may let them hear my words, so that they may learn to fear me all the days that they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children so.” ~Deuteronomy 4:9-10

I know there are some Christians who believe that we should not celebrate Easter or Christmas differently than any other day of the year. They would argue that to do so would imply that we do not pay special attention to the birth, crucifixion, and resurrection of Christ every day as we ought. I understand this line of reasoning, and believe that we should do our utmost to treasure Christ in every moment of every day of every year… and yet I also believe that God-centered celebrations can be a useful tool to “take care” and “keep [our souls] diligently, lest [we] forget the things [our] eyes have seen, and lest they depart from [our hearts] all the days of [our lives]” as passage above from Deuteronomy encourages the Israelites. This is exactly why God instituted so many feasts and celebrations throughout the Old Testament and the ordinances of Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. Visual, physical celbrations can have a great impact on your soul.

But Easter, as well as Christmas, can also just be a time when we say we are celebrating Christ, but in reality we give very little of our time and attention to him. Symbolic traditions, not just traditions, can be a way to help focus our minds and instruct our children in the wonder of the joy we receive from our salvation in Christ.

It is surprisingly difficult to find a wealth of information about Christian Easter traditions. Most of what you find on the internet is saturated with bunnies and eggs, but there were a few gems that I was able to bookmark and hope to incorporate into our own celebration. Here they are in no particular order:

1. In most of the world lamb, not ham, is the traditional Easter meat and with good reason.The symbolism is obvious! “Behold, the lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” (John 1:29) Just as the sacrificial lamb was a symbol for the Israelites, eating lamb on Easter can be a symbol for us of the sacrifice of the perfect lamb of God for our sins.

2. For many people Hot Cross Buns are a traditional Easter food. These sweet, fruit filled buns display a cross on top of them to help remind us of the reason for our celebration. Here is a link to a recipe.

3. Apparently in much of Europe, Italian Easter Bread, is a common tradition. The cross braiding of the dough is meant to remind you of the crown of thorns, while the decorative eggs are a symbol of the new life found in Christ. This is also a sweet bread. Here is a link to a recipe.

4. Easter eggs in general are supposed to be symbolic of new life. In some traditions they color the eggs red to represent the blood of Christ. In others you crack open the eggs on Easter morning symbolizing Jesus’ tomb breaking open. There is even a game for children (and adult men I would presume) where each person holds an egg in their fist and you sort of fist pump each other until one of the eggs breaks. Whoever’s egg doesn’t break is the winner (Again, the breaking of the egg is reminiscent of the tomb breaking open). In some cultures the decorated eggs are the first food handed out onEaster morning with the traditional, “He is risen!” accompanying the hand off and “Indeed he is!” being the thank you from the recipient. In some homes, only one egg is eaten by every member of the family symbolizing the unity of the body of Christ.

5. The Hunt! Easter egg hunts need not be about a bunny! They can also be a symbol of our relationship to our Savior. God tells us to seek him, just as those little children will be ernestly seeking those eggs: ”You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13) I have also thought it would be so nice to add little messages inside the children’s eggs with messages about God’s sweetness: “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” (Psalm 119:103 ESV); the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. (Psalm 19:9; Psalm 19:10-11 ESV); etc… The candy is an excellent picture to your child of how wonderful a relationship with Jesus is… it is even better than candy!

6. Similar to the Advent Candles of Christmas, many people do the opposite for Easter. You start out with lit candles and over time blow them all out until there are none left on Good Friday. You can do it over the entire Lent season, the holy week, or even simply on Good Friday itself. This tradition symbolizes the death of the “Light of the World.” On Easter morning all of the candles are lit to represent the resurrection.

7. Just as wine (or grape juice) represent the blood of Christ when we take communion, it can do the same soul stirring service during our Easter Celebrations.

8. Extended Family Worship is a great way to make Easter different from other days. Taking time to read prophecies regarding the suffering and exaltation of Christ and then their fulfillment is the most obvious way of focusing our hearts and minds as a family on Christ. Choose songs to sing that focus on the crucifixion and resurrection to continue with the same theme.

9. Fasting has always been a part of this season as a way of seeking closer fellowship to the Lord and even mourning his death on the cross. Fasting from Friday night to Sunday morning would be a great tradition to start in order to symbolize the darkness that was felt as the Son of God physically died and then the joy felt as he returned.

10. The new clothes that many people wear on Easter Sunday are symbolic of the new life we put on when we repent and believe in the risen Lord.

11. The American tradition of eating ham on Easter can be symbolic of the old covenant being replaced by the new due to the fact that the Israelites were not permitted to eat “unclean meats” such as ham. Once Christ had fulfilled the law, God made it clear to Peter that all foods including those once forbidden were now clean. Adults and older children will benefit from the symbolism of Gentiles being grafted into the covenant.

12. Resurrection Buns are an adorable tradition to start with your children. Together you make these simple buns that are wrapped around a big marshmallow. When they are done baking the marshmallow has been melted and incorporated into the dough leaving a gigantic hole in the middle of the bun. When the children tear open the buns to look for their marshmallow they are surprised to find that it is missing just as Christ was missing from the tomb. Here is a link to a recipe.

I am sure that there are many more ideas out there. Do you know of any that I haven’t listed? I am particularly looking for some kind of symbolic side dish. Obviously none of these symbols will mean anything if we fail to think deeply on the truths behind them and explain them to our children, but they are great ways to help us in our pursuit of Christ-centered Easters.

Please add to this list in the comments and maybe you will inspire someone today with your Christ-centered tradition!

Photo Credits: Easter Lilly, Lamb Chops Final, Itallian Easter Bread, Ostern, Joy

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Desiring Virtue’s Daily Plan of Attack

Mar 29, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Lists really keep me on my toes, without them I tend to muddle through the day getting some things accomplished (the things I like to do) and not other things (those things I really detest doing… ehem… dishes). But it can be annoying to write out a list of the same things every day (which is a lot of what happens when you are a stay at home mom).

Things that must get done every day: Quiet Time, Make bed, Get dressed (Yes, this needs to be something I check off), Get children dressed (ditto), Dishes, Laundry, Pick up

You get the picture. They are simple things that we all do and should be all be able to do without a list… but not me. I need a binder of lists, from my Daily Plan of Attack, to my Blog Ideas, to Menu Planning.

I tend to be picky when it comes to my Home Management Binder. I want it to include the thing I need, and to look pretty at the same time (I mean it needs to motivate me, right?). Well, as you can imagine, it is hard to find everything you want when your list is pretty specific. The answer… create my own of course!

So without further ado I would like to introduce you to Desiring Virtue’s first ever Home Management Printable:

The Daily Plan of Attack

This printable contains four different version, each including 4 pages. The first version is my own personal version. It has all the MUST BE DONE items that we all must do plus my own personal preferences like alternating laundry days, one big daily task (floors, bathroom, baking, etc…). You may find that this version works for you as well! Great! If not there is version number two.

Version number two offers a lot more customization. It still includes the daily chores that we all do, but then gives you lots of blank spots to add your own items. But, maybe you want lots of blank spaces, but still want the quiet times, family worship, and church items that I have in my personal plan of attack…

Then version number three is for you. It is kind of the hybrid between the first two versions.

All three feature Sunday as the beginning of the week and keep the to-dos to a minimum on the day when many of us enjoy meditating on the Lord and spending time with family. Sunday’s Plan of attack also gives you opportunity to plan for the upcoming week and set goals.

The final version is completely blank so that you can customize your Plan of Attack completely.

How do I get it?

Simply download your Plan of Attack (It’s free!) and then print* out the pages that will benefit you the most.

*Make sure that you choose which pages you want to print or you will print all four version at once… maybe a little overkill.

So, there you have it, Desiring Virtue’s Daily Plan of Attack. The first of who knows how many to come. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions for future printables.

If you are reading this on an iPhone or iPad you will not be able to see the printables in this post (man Apple and your non-flash love). No worries, just click this link and it will take you to the Scribd website that is hosting them!

Scroll through the preview below to see all versions of the Plan of Attack!
Plan of Attack (4 Versions)

For More Desiring Virtue Printables (For Menu Planning,Check Lists, and More!), Click Here!

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When You Feel Like It’s All For Nothing

Mar 2, 2011 by desiringvirtue

“What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word of faith from which the obedience and the work flow.” -Martin Luther

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What Makes a Home Beautiful?

Feb 16, 2011 by desiringvirtue

Occasionally I decide to pick up an old, but treasured post from the dusty shelf and share it with you once again. Maybe it is the first time you have ever read it, or maybe you have seen it before. In either case I pray that it will be an encouragement to your heart today as it is to mine. Enjoy!

September 8, 2009

As we get ready for another move I find myself thinking about how I am going to decorate my new home. It seems like with each move there is a temptation to buy more “stuff” to make this home look nicer and more beautiful than the last one. I’m thinking about how the furniture will fit in the new living room and whether or not we need to swap some items on Craigslist for others. I’m thinking about new ways to save space because our new apartment will be much smaller than this one is and about what kind of decor changes I want to make in the future.

It feels like as a young family your “style” is always changing as you slowly get to throw out the “hand-me-downs,” and move up to the “slightly used” furniture you find for a deal, and then again move up the coveted “new” furniture and decor. It is bound to be years… maybe even decades before we start buying new furniture. For now we are content to swap our damaged things for slightly less damaged things at a really great price!

As women it is our God-given duty to care for the home and with that assignment comes the responsibility of making the home a beautiful haven for our family and guests. Sometimes I wonder if we put too much emphasis on the “beautiful” part. As I look around at my living room I have to admit, it is anything but a picture from a magazine. There are many things that I wish I could change about it, but simply can’t. As I visit other people’s homes I am tempted to envy their ability to furnish their homes with lovely and unique pieces or I am amazed by their decorative genius. I begin to think that I am doing a poor job creating a beautiful and heavenly atmosphere for my own family and guests. Soon I am making lists of things we “need” and things I need to do in order to remedy the obvious problem that our home is.

It is then, as I am making my list, that the Lord begins to convict my heart. He begins to reveal the layers of envy and jealousy that are the pillars of my desire to have a “beautiful home.” He then shows me the pride that is the foundation of my lust; the desire to be the woman that other women are jealous of and desire to be like. He reminds me of the millions of people around the world who don’t even have a roof over their heads and how one less flippant purchase a month could feed a poor soul who is dying of hunger. He reminds me of Kris and Chelle Stire who are in Albania serving the small, but vibrant church there. They gave up their right to a “beautiful” home and chose a glorious one among the beautiful souls they are winning for Christ. I am reminded of how much more money I could be giving to them and to my own church for the furtherance of the gospel. How retched my soul must look to my Savior when it is filled with selfishness!

It is hard to judge how much of my desire to have a beautiful home is a result of selfishness. Surely much of it is from pride and envy, but a great majority is simply the desire to please myself and my own tastes. Let’s face it, I love beautiful things! My personal style is a sort of “Country-Clean-Shabby Chic” (or at least this is what I want my personal style to be). As of yet, I have not been able to achieve my “dream home look” so every time I pass by a beautiful piece of decor or see something I like in a magazine (ehem… Pottery Barn!) I feel like I need it. After all, I just want to make my home a beautiful and inviting place!!!!

I realize that making your home aesthetically appealing is not wrong and I truly hope that my home is and will be a warm haven for my family and guests. Unfortunately, I honestly believe that when I focus on these desires they take an unhealthy and ungodly role in my heart. The more beautiful my home gets and the nicer things I have, the more I begin to love this world and the things in it. The more I am comfortable here, the less I desire heaven. Yes, I want my family to be proud of their home, but more importantly I want them to yearn for their heavenly home; I want them to yearn for Christ-I want to yearn for Christ!

I also know that the more I desire to be seen as the woman others envy, the more I am promoting an atmosphere of sinful jealousy between myself and other sisters in Christ.

Yes, I want my home to be an inviting and comfortable place for my guests, but I also want their focus to be directed to the Lord and not my fabulous home decor.

God gives to each in a different manner. Some have more income and are able to spend more money on decorating their homes while still being faithful to give sacrificially to the Lord. To others he entrusts a very little teaching them to rely on his beauty and comfort rather than the possessions they can accumulate. But all of us must fight the temptation to call this world home and invest too much of ourselves in it rather than God’s Kingdom. As I get older and my family’s income increases I know that our home will get bigger and become more aesthetically pleasing, but my earnest prayer is that Richard and I would never put those things before our service to our King, and if necessary we would choose poverty over unfaithfulness.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. -Philippians 3:20 & 21

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Sundays. The Beginning or the End?

Jan 24, 2011 by desiringvirtue

In our culture, Sundays are the end of the weekend.

They are the last day to get something done before work begins again.

Most calendars and day planners these days make Sunday the last day of the week, starting your work schedule with Monday.

What if Sunday was the beginning of your week?

What if instead of the last day of rest, it was the first day of worship in the new week?

What if Sunday was completely overwhelmed with the Lord filling up your soul for the week ahead?

It is hard.

Sometimes Sundays are the craziest days for us, filled with activities.

How do you take hold of Sundays? Do you have any secrets to making it a time of Spiritual REST and RENEWAL?

How do you make Sunday the LORD’S DAY and the prepare your heart for the week ahead?

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How to Properly Load a Dishwasher

May 19, 2010 by desiringvirtue

I don’t know about you, but I hate it when I open the dishwasher to find that my glasses and bowls are still dirty! Usually I just blame the dishwasher or the detergent, but sometimes it is my fault. I must have missed the memo about a “correct” way of loading the dishwasher, but apparently there is. I did some research and compiled a list of tips to help make your (and my) dishwasher more efficient. Some of these tips you may already know, but some you may not, so take a look and share your own tips if I missed anything!

Quickly rinse dishes before putting them in to get the chunks of food off.
Put glasses, coffee mugs, plastic containers, and large utensils in the top rack of the dishwasher to keep them from breaking or melting.
Place bowls down the center of top rack.
Make sure to put glassware (as well as sippy cups!) on prongs so that they are held in place better.
If you are washing fragile items leave space between each of them to ensure they don’t vibrate against each other during the wash.
Dishes, large bowls and other items that need greater water pressure go on the bottom rack.
Put cookie sheets and platters along the sides of the bottom rack so they don’t prevent water flow.
Face items like plates in the same direction, facing toward the middle for best water flow.
Put pots and dishes with baked-on food in the bottom rack facing down so that they get as much water pressure as possible.
Load silverware with handles down (except for knives….point them down) in the basket provided.
When loading utensils into their compartment mix them up so that all the spoons don’t “spoon” each other and trap food and grease.
Make sure that large or tall items do not hinder the washing arm from rotating freely when the tray is pushed in.
Don’t place large/tall items near the front or they may keep the detergent cup from opening during the cycle.
Don’t put extremely large bowls and pots in the dishwasher and expect your dishes to come out looking clean. Why? All the water is being trapped in those few items and not reaching the others. As sad as it sounds, wash them by hand.
A full dishwasher runs best, so fill it up before running.
Fill both cups with a good dishwasher detergent.
If necessary use a rinse agent.

Some of these tips were shockers to me. For instance, I love separating all of the utensils into their own compartment (mostly because it makes putting them away easier), but this truly does limit their ability to get clean. I will admit that I have put HUGE pots into the dishwasher hoping that they (and the rest of my dishes will get clean), but they never do… I always end up hand washing them anyways. So, here’s to more productive dishwashers–and happier operators!

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An End To Your Work Day

Mar 30, 2010 by desiringvirtue

A mother’s job is never done. But can a housekeeper’s, a school teacher’s, or a blogger’s job end at 5 o’clock with the rest of the world? Of course it can! As homemakers, we wear many different hats and some of those need to be taken off both mentally and physically at some point in time or your day will simply turn into one overstressed, unproductive mush. Having a cut off time for certain household duties is beneficial in many ways.

First, it gives you incentive to work hard up until that designated point in time. It is much easier to put your nose to the grindstone when you have a light at the end of the tunnel to keep you going. When you feel like giving up or surfing the web, remember that you have time for that on your “off” hours. Alternatively, deluding yourself with the prospect of a never ending work day can result in procrastination and frustration.

Another helpful aspect to shutting down shop around 5pm is the ability to refocus and recharge before your husband gets home from work. Let your husband come home to a peaceful, quiet home and a peaceful, quiet wife while you are at it! If you plan to have dinner on the table at 6pm, you will have plenty of time to leisurely prepare the meal and spruce up a bit before your love returns from a hard day at work.

Another benefit to retiring for the night is your ability to focus on family time. It is difficult to give your whole heart and mind to your husband and children when you still have the day’s cares hovering above you like a black cloud. This small amount of time you have with your family every night is precious and should not be taken lightly. It is especially precious to your husband, who spends much of his day outside the home and looks forward to your company when he returns. Some of the most important family activities happen in the evening, from dinner to family worship to bath time to romantic rendezvous. Let your heart, body and mind be all there during these precious times.

One last benefit to cutting off some duties when your husband gets home is that he will not feel as though he needs to help you in those activities. He has been working hard all day and envisions this as his time to relax and rejuvenate, but he can’t truly do this unless you are as well. Watching you fold laundry while he relaxes will only make him feel guilty and you feel bitter in the process!

Now, I am not proposing that you put aside your duties as wife and mother. Dinner still has to be prepared and served, babies still need to be nursed, bathed, and put to bed, and much much more. However, there are specific duties that you can designate to your “work day” and others that you can designate to your “off time.” In order to achieve this reality there are certain disciplines that need to be cultivated every day, here are a few:

Have a plan for your day. It doesn’t have to be a minute by minute guide, but having a general plan laid out will help you know what you need to accomplish before the “whistle blows” for the end of your work day. Ideally this should be done before your time off so that you don’t have tomorrow’s to-do list hanging over your head while you are trying to relax. Give yourself 10-15 minutes at the end of every work day to plan the next day’s duties.
Get to work on the hard things first. We all have those specific tasks that we dread doing every day. Whether it is vacuuming or cleaning the tub, getting it done first thing will aid your desire to be productive and spur you on throughout the rest of the day.
Do the most important things on your list next. With the painful, but necessary tasks out of the way, move on the most important tasks. These will vary day by day, but you don’t want them to get looked over as you go about your business. If you do look them over, the chances of you getting to relax when your husband gets home are greatly decreased.
Make as many nighttime chores daytime chores as you can. For instance, if you normally unload and load the dishwasher after dinner or before you go to bed consider moving your dishwashing routine to the middle of the day. After lunch is through, run the dishwasher and unload it before you call it quits for the day. Then all you will have to do before bed is load the dinner dishes. Maybe you could move bath time for the little ones to a less hectic time during the day. If so, that is one less thing you will have to do before the kids go down. Simply setting out the kid’s diapers and pajamas for bed time (before you stop working for the day) is a huge help when you are trying to simplify your nighttime routine, plus it makes you feel prepared for the night.
Take the necessary steps to be able to call it quits. You can’t truly call it quits if the house is still in disarray when the quitting bell rings! The last 30 minutes of your day will have to be dedicated to a thorough pic up in order to make quitting a reality. This means that if you desire to stop working at 5pm, you must begin preparing to stop working a little after 4! Imagine how peaceful you would be if, at around 4:15pm you began picking up the house, looking for loose ends that need to be tied (like a clean load of laundry that needs to be put away or dishes that need to be unloaded). You are able to accomplish these last minute details, light a few candles, and put on a pot of coffee to enjoy before you start cooking dinner. Then, at 4:45pm you sit down with the your cup of coffee and plan out the next day. Depending on how long your dinner preparations are going to take, you may even have time to pray for a little bit thanking the Lord for the things you were able to accomplish and asking him to prepare your heart to be ready for your husband. It all sounds rather ideal does it not? Imagine how different your nights could be with just a little bit of planning!
When it is quitting time, quit! As you are planning out the next day include the tasks that you were unable to get to today (and of course there will probably be some depending on how long you make your lists). Most household chores will not blow up if they are left for the next day and unless something completely unexpected happened you were able to get to the most important things that needed to be done, done. It isn’t as easy as it sounds to quit because a lot of the things we do can be done in just a few minutes, but remember that your off time is designated to other important things like preparing dinner, reading to your kids, or enjoying your husband’s company. These things are just as important (sometimes more) as matching a pair of socks or windexing a window.
Keep your plan for the next day handy. Though it is wise to make this plan before you quit for the day, having it handy so that you can add duties or activities as they come to mind is very helpful. As soon as you think of something or see something that needs to get done jot it down so that it does not weigh on you throughout the night.
Make the “pick-up” habit second nature. If you aren’t going to dedicate yourself to cleaning after 5, then you will need to be diligent in the upkeep of the house from then on out. Keeping a tidy house must become part of our very nature as homemakers if we are to be able to enjoy a clean home for more than 15 minutes! Just take the time as you are enjoying your family to leave every room you spend time in nice and tidy.
View your tasks after 5pm as enjoyable, relaxing activities. It is obvious that no matter how much you get done before you quit for the day, there are certain activities as wives and mothers that will have to be done during the night time. However, viewing them as enjoyable, relaxing activities rather than more chores will make your evenings much less stressful. Cooking, if you are not strapped for time, can be a therapeutic and creative endeavor. Bathing your children and putting them to bed should be an enjoyable, memory making activity. Unfortunately these things can become stressful tasks in and of themselves if you have not done the necessary preparations or accomplished enough ahead of time.

Being part of a family is hard work, being the mother or wife in that family is even harder work. However, evenings should be reserved for relaxing and fellowship with your husband and family as a means of service to them. The whole work day is devoted to serving your husband through working diligently in your home while he is out, let him enjoy the home you have prepared for him by letting him enjoy you.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Santa or Jesus? (Pt. 2)

Dec 16, 2009 by desiringvirtue

If the world wants to celebrate a fictitious person then so be it. However, when Christians begin to embrace Santa and try to meld him in with the celebration of the birth of the Messiah I fear that we have lost our grip on reality. When well meaning parents explain that they simply want their kids to be able to experience the “magic” of the season I wonder if they truly understand the incomprehensibly profound act of God becoming man so that he could save the world from the power of sin. Is there anything more magical, more incredible than that? Is there any need to celebrate or focus our hearts on anything but this mighty act? Claiming that your children will “miss out” on the fun and excitement of Christmas without a mythical character at it’s center is paramount to saying that Jesus isn’t enough. Really you are saying that you, yourself don’t believe that Jesus is enough to bring joy and excitement to your Christmas celebration.

I am not trying to make the case that Christmas has always inherently been about Jesus and that there is no room for other celebrations. I am well aware that Christmas finds its roots in the long celebrated Winter Solstice and that it was only when the Pope declared December 25th to be the anniversary of the birth of Christ that it became a Christian holiday. What I am trying to say is that as Christians our celebrations should be inherently and distinctively Christian.

There should be an obvious difference in the way we rejoice in and experience Christmas when compared to unbelievers. Let the world raise their children to believe in Santa Claus while we raise our children to believe in the Christ, the Son of God! Let the world teach their children that Christmas is a time when you get glorious gifts while we teach our children that Christmas is a time to celebrate the most glorious gift of salvation! I understand that tradition is hard to break and that it is emotional. But if you love the Lord and desire for your children to experience that same love diverting their attention to a mythical being may not be the most helpful exercise. There is one who is greater, lovelier, and much more gracious than even Santa and his name is Jesus. The children who miss out on Christmas are actually those who’s attention is divided between Santa and Jesus. There is no way to whole heartedly appreciate and be excited about an Invisible God when at the same time a visible, tangible, and physical, gift giving man is also being endorsed and encouraged by your parents. But this, I think is the problem. It doesn’t so much bother us that our children might be half-heartedly excited about Jesus (or even a fourth-heartedly for that matter). We just want to see the smiles on their faces as they awake to see the presents that Santa left for them under the tree.

Ultimately it comes down to our hearts as parents. What do we value? What do we want our children to value? What do we want the world to see that we value? Are we content with teaching our children to have divided affections? Are we satisfied with our Christmas celebrations knowing that though we tried our hardest to make “Jesus the reason for the season” our little children were too caught up in the magic and excitement of Santa to really care? We have to ask ourselves if we really care.

I have heard parents say “they are only children once, let them have some fun and enjoy Santa while they can!” My only response to that statement is this: Children are only children once, you only have one opportunity to instill in them a love and adoration for Christ; use this time to teach them how to find their joy and excitement in the eternal God who never changes and will never fade.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Santa or Jesus (Pt.1)

Dec 15, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Santa Claus is so very interesting to me. How is it that a fourth century bishop who was known for his generosity to children, the poor and the destitute became the center of a an entire holiday season? When and why did people feel the need to mold this real and God-honoring man into an idol? The word idol may sound harsh. I am not proposing that everyone who participates in the Santa Claus tradition is an idol worshiper, but I fear that the vast majority of Americans are in fact teaching their children to worship an imaginary man (imaginary because the historical St. Nicholas of Myra is vastly different from the one we celebrate now).

Think about it, how is the way we worship the true God any different from the way we teach our children to relate to Santa Claus? We teach them that Santa is all knowing (after all he can see you when your sleeping and know when your awake), he is omnipresent (he somehow can be everywhere at once in one night), and he rewards good behavior while punishing bad behavior. We ingrain in our children the validity of Santa, reading them stories and teaching them songs. We remind them throughout the year (especially as Christmas gets closer) that the gifts they get on Christmas will depend upon their obedience or disobedience making Santa an authority in their lives. Of course we know the truth (that we are basically lying to our children so that they can have some childish fun) and they will find out sooner or later that it was all just an elaborate story that was meant for their enjoyment, but they don’t know that. In their childish minds Santa is the coolest man on earth! Who could be better than Santa? I mean goodness; all I have to do is make a list and he will give me all my little heart desires come Christmas morning!

It should not be surprising that the world created this mythical character for we know that man’s heart was created to worship. We know that as humans we were meant to have a relationship with our Lord and that our hearts and minds are fitted to worship (though skewed as a result of the fall). It should not surprise us when we see the world grasp at any and all earthly idols as they spurn the one true God, but it should surprise us when the Christian community wholeheartedly embraces the worship of a man at the expense of worshiping God.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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Willing To Be Weak

Nov 27, 2009 by desiringvirtue

Being a wife and mother means you don’t get sick right? Not so much. Usually it means you get sick, but you don’t take the time to rest like your body needs because you feel like you can’t. Sometimes you truly are unable to control the circumstances you find yourself in: laundry needs to be done, baby’s diaper needs to be changed, and somehow we all need to eat later on. However, sometimes we make the situation worse than it needs to be by relying on our own dwindling strength rather than joyfully accepting the help that God gives us through other people.

My natural instinct when I am sick or otherwise incapacitated is to suffer through the day. Richard will ask me if I need his help and instead of taking the time to really think about what I need him to do I mutter a, “no… I got it…” (in a really pathetic, sad voice of course). Then the whole day I am thinking about how he should be anticipating what needs to be done and should simply get on it! I mean can’t he see that I am sick?????! My poor husband. The truth is that he usually has no idea what I need him to do, much less what I would like him to do. He is more than willing to do ANYTHING I ask, but really needs that prompting in order to know the “what” it is that needs to be done.

I don’t know if it is pride or self pity that causes this situation so often, but I do know a couple things:

1.) Asking for help means that you can’t handle it yourself. It means being honest about your weakness and your need of assistance. This can be hard-especially when you are the one who keeps things moving in the home on a daily basis.

2.) Asking for help means that things won’t necessarily be done your way. I like everything to be done a certain way and when it isn’t I feel the need to fix it. The world is not going to end if Elliot gets fed without a bib on or if the laundry isn’t put away in the exact right spot. The fact that these things get done without me expending energy is a beautiful thing that I should be grateful for and desirous of without exception!

3.) Giving help takes sacrifice. When I ask for help, Richard has to sacrifice his own desires and priorities in order to serve me. This is a hard one for me. I hate to feel like a burden to Richard. I know that the duties of the home are often alien to him and that Elliot takes a lot more energy than he often expects, so watching him tend to all of these things throughout the day makes me very uncomfortable. Accepting this sacrificial help means that I have to trust that the Lord will give him the energy and wisdom he needs and that the Lord doesn’t need me to accomplish his work.

4.) Giving help is a blessing. I mean this both ways. First, it is a blessing to the one who receives the help. I am always reminded of the Lord’s kindness to me when Richard sacrificially takes care of me and the rest of our home. I praise God for the love he gives to this children so that they can show that love to others! Second, it is a blessing to the giver. The Lord teaches us to serve one another continually. Sickness is one of the most obvious and practical opportunities to do this. It is also one of the times when it is the most appreciated. There is nothing better than having someone take care of everything while you get some much needed rest; likewise, there is nothing worse than trying to trudge through your daily routine when you really need to be doing nothing. Being the person that makes rest possible is both sanctifying and rewarding. It gives you the opportunity to grow in your appreciation for the person who is sick and be challenged in your own abilities.

This past weekend was an occasion where my husband had to pick up the extra slack that I could not handle. To make matters worse we were on a little trip visiting my family. I was not only sick with a soar throat, but suffering from a TERRIBLE tooth ache, and the beginnings of my pregnancy nausea!!!!! Talk about the wrong weekend to get away! Well, thanks to my wonderful husband and my gracious mother, I was able to get the rest I needed and still enjoy the time I had with my family. Amazingly enough it took incredible self restraint to accept the fact that I was going to need help and trust that things would be ok if I just closed myself up in a dark room and took a nap (multiple times throughout the weekend). I am so grateful that I did! I am also grateful that my wonderful husband took yesterday off to serve me and tend to my needs. That day made all the difference and now I am feeling much better. If I had been “brave” and told him to go to work and not “worry” about us, I would have had a terrible day and been struggling with bitterness against him in my heart. Instead I was able to enjoy the service of my wonderful husband and get some much needed rest. Thank you Husband and thank you God.

If this is your first time to visit Desiring Virtue you may want to join our growing community of passionate homemakers by "liking" DV on Facebook, following DV on Twitter, or subscribing to DV's email delivery via Feedburner.

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6. Learn about sweating and deodorants.

7. Figure out what fluoride really does & find a better toothpaste.

Dr. Bronner’s Toothpaste Recipe:

8. Make-up your face healthy!

9. Only wash your hair every other day.

10. Take it slow! Be patient. Find a balance.

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1. Learn about the products your currently using.

2. Get rid of the toxic stuff.

3. Switch to coconut oil.

5. Stop washing your face.

The Oil Cleaning Method

Water

The Oil Cleansing Method Remix

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The Original Plan of Attack:

Features:

Versions:

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How You Get It:

Just Today’s Plan of Attack:

Features:

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How You Get It:

Running To-do List:

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How You Get It:

This Week’s Menu Plan:

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